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In Denial? Late Planners, You're Not Alone!

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Why do some birthmoms wait 'til the very end to make adoption plans? For many, coming to terms with the reality of an untimely pregnancy takes both time and courage. If you or someone you know is needing help dealing with the "right now" or planning for the future, let Abrazo help! Call 1-800-454-5683 anytime, to talk with one of our caring counselors. We understand!

'Denial' Over Pregnancy Not Uncommon: Study

Fri Feb 22,11:58 AM ET

By Amy Norton

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Cases in which women don't realize or don't accept that they are pregnant until they are far along--or even in labor--are not as rare as commonly thought, German researchers report.

And, they say, doctors may be able to do more to spot such unrecognized pregnancies.

When the researchers looked at Berlin-area obstetrics hospitals and practices between 1995 and 1996, they found 62 cases in which a woman's pregnancy wasn't verified until after the 20th week. For 25 of these women, "pregnancy was diagnosed" during labor, Drs. Jens Wessel and Ulrich Buscher report in the February 23rd issue of the British Medical Journal.  Wessel, of Humboldt University in Berlin, told Reuters Health that many of these women had noticed physical changes such as weight gain and loss of menstruation.

"However," Wessel said, "subjectively, there was no association with a pregnant state--which, in other words, is denial."

According to the researchers, their results indicate that 1 in 475 pregnancies in the study area were denied by the woman.

"The common view that denied pregnancies are exotic and rare events is not valid," they write in the report.

Wessel said that the reasons a woman might deny pregnancy are varied and no "typical" explanation has been found in research. In this study, many women "rationalized" pregnancy symptoms, Wessel noted. For example, some women in their 40s attributed their lost periods to menopause, while others felt their increased appetites explained their weight gain.

Denial of pregnancy is a serious matter, in large part because of how it can affect the newborn, the researchers explain. The risk of prematurity, low birth weight and need for neonatal intensive care is higher in these pregnancies, Wessel said.

One of the surprising findings from this study, Wessel pointed out, is that about 40% of these women had visited a doctor while their pregnancies were yet unrecognized. And, the researcher said, women often saw their doctors specifically for symptoms commonly seen in pregnancy, such as nausea, fatigue and heartburn. In nearly all cases, Wessel noted, the doctor was not an obstetrician/gynecologist.

According to Wessel, this result suggests that doctors may need to suspect pregnancy more often when faced with certain symptoms--and, therefore, do more pregnancy tests. (SOURCE: British Medical Journal 2002;324:458.)

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Here's a very different example...

Late last night, Abrazo's answering service paged me, to speak with a mother who wanted to talk about placing her toddler.

When I called her, I asked how she'd gotten our agency's name and phone number. She hesitated, then said quietly, "well, I called you before."

She went on to say that four years ago, just after the birth of her first child, she'd called Abrazo to ask about placing her newborn, because she wanted a better life for her child.

We sent her a packet of information, including profiles of prospective waiting parents in our program. She read those over carefully, and fell in love with one particular family.

However, her mom then found out what she was contemplating, and stepped in, promising to help her raise the child if only she'd give up on her thoughts of placing the baby for adoption.

The child's mother yielded to her mom's urging, but unfortunately, things didn't work out so well. Her mom got tired of helping, in time, and blamed her daughter for not being more self-sufficient. The child's mother, feeling it was too hard to parent by herself, found a new boyfriend willing to help. He moved in, and they had another baby, together.

But unfortunately, things didn't work out so well. He left her high and dry, alone with two kids, so now, she was calling last night to see if it was too late; if the adoptive couple whose profile she so admired four years ago might still be available, and might now be open to adopting her two-year-old.

She now knows, she says, the adoption would have been the best choice all along, because she realizes her children have had to pay the price for her inability to stand up to her mother and make her own best choices long ago.

It doesn't always work out that way. But if you're struggling to make an adoption decision and your heart says "yes" but your friends or family say "no," give it some careful thought.

After all, your child's very future depends on you!

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Oh, Elizabeth! :( That is heartbreaking!!! I can't imagine the courage it would take to go against the wishes of your family when making the decision to place your child for adoption. How sad that she needed support and acceptance (from her family) so desperately, and didn't get it.

For Abrazo and that particular adoptive family to have stuck in her mind all of these years says something. I pray that she can find help for her and her children.

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Guest BeachMama

My best friend got pregnant at age 19 and denied it for many months. I was only 18 myself and quite naive at the time - I didn't notice her growing belly (we lived in college dorms together). At some deep level, I think she really believed that if she didn't think about, didn't face it - the "problem" would go away.

Eventually, her fear overwhelmed her and I found her one day in her room, crying. I was the first person she told. She had not had any prenatal care, and based on her timing, we assumed the baby was now almost 5 months along. I dragged her to her first doctor's appt. and we found out that she was actually almost 7 months pregnant.

Once she had shared her secret with me, she knew it was time to come clean to everyone - unfortunately her parents got the doctor bill before she had a chance to tell them herself - and all heck broke loose. Her friends and I watched her closed dorm room door as her parents railed at her for her "mistake". They were, and are, good people - they were just so frightened to see their incredible daughter with SO much potential changing her life so drastically.

At first, they insisted that she place the baby for adoption. She and I visited several adoption agencies and finally decided on Catholic Charities. Paperwork began, but fortunately she was not matched with a family yet. I knew that the adoption plan would not happen - she and her parents were operating on fear, and I knew in my heart that things would change.

The morning she went into labor, we went to the hospital together, as I was to be her labor coach. As she checked in, she told the nursing staff that she was placing the baby for adoption. She was in such pain, and so frightened. A few hours later, before her family arrived - the nurses brought paperwork for her to sign - "so we can take your baby away right after its born." (This was 1991 - I'm hoping things have changed since then and that this never happens to birthmothers in labor now). I shooed them away and told them that she would not be signing any of their paperwork.

The birth was relatively easy - and it was the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my whole life. I treasure that day above any other in my life, even above my own wedding day. My godson Matthew was born on May 26 - and the first words out of my friend's father's mouth when he walked into that delivery room after he was born were "You can keep him!"

Today, Matt is 15 years old and treasured beyond belief. My friend was very fortunate - she had incredible support from family and friends and turned out to be an AMAZING mother - my role model, in fact.

I started this post to point out that fact that even the most intelligent, most promising girls can get lost in the denial of a pregnancy. But, I'll end it saying that while this was one of the most significant moments of my life for many reasons, I now hope that this will give me special insight into what our future birthmother might be facing - and hopefully, will help me understand if we have a placement fail. All I need to do is look at Matthew and know that children end up where they are meant to be.

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The posts have left me wondering. It sounds as though everything has worked out very well for Matthew. Thank goodness BeachMama's friend's parents were supportive and she had a good and loyal friend in BeachMama. (I hope she was able to complete her education) What is happening with the other mom and kiddos? Is the family that she fell in love with interested in a toddler adoption? I know that you counseled her and talked to her about her options. Can you give us an update? My heart aches for the family. I know that her call for help has put the Abrazo angels into action and that she will be better off for having made the call no matter what she ultimately decides to do. Thank you for being there for her, Elizabeth. You're the best.

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okay, I admit it. I was in denial for a bit as well. I feel for any gal who is in that awful black hole of thought. I would like to say though, I understand it. I knew I would not have support. I knew it would be the end all be all of horrible decisions according to my mother, no matter which choice I made. I knew I had 3 options. Keep,place, or terminate. I knew I could not terminate as a faithful person. I knew the best thing would be to place, I knew the worst would be to keep him. At that point I didn't know he would be a he, but I knew that the child I carried would not be in my home as mine. I knew adoption was my coice, and that openness was where I would find the comfort I needed to make the hardest decision ever. My mother was not included in my choices, my decision making process or my joy in sharing this journey with one of the greatest couples I know. She was left in the dark, due to her attitude about the daughter I was already raising. My mother was not very kind as a person and was even less kind to me when it came to decisions she did not dictate. I knew this. I was not in "denial" near as long as I was in "dread" of the day she found out. For the rath, and hatefulness she would spew, at me, and possible others involved.

I went right along throught the pregnancy, even telling friends and coworkers my plans as time grew near, along with the growing tummy. I had it all planned, and thought out. I knew the outcome would be joy for us all, and even though the heartbreak would come, I knew it would pass and be returned with joy in a child that I gave a better life. I went into labor, and all went well. My beautiful son was born an hour later, his loving parents arrived. We visited and cooed. Changed diapers and enoyed the new connection we had. My sons a-father had gone to car, and his a-mom and I visited as just girls. Then the door of the hospital room opened.

My mother walked in. My new friend, my sons a-mom, gave a brief hello and excused herself. My mother then became someone I no longer respect. She tried to talk me out of it, then in the next sentence told my how stupid I was for having this child at all. Exactly what I feared would happen. She then exited, just has my sons new mother's purse began ringing. I quickly grabbed the purse and found the new parents in the waiting area, with my mother "telling them" about me. I walked in just in time to hear very hateful things. I heard things like "this is the worst decision she has ever made", "she is so irrational". Things a mother should never share with a stranger about her child. Things a couple would never want to hear about the person who has given them a child. These are what I was avoiding and in denial from. I was denying them the hatefulness, and myself additional pain. I was denying my mother the joy of bashing me to my face and behind my back. Unfortunately my denial was not enough. Unfortunately we were all victims of her unhappiness.

But, in the long run, has my mother been able to expirience the joy, the love or the connections the remainder of us have, no, and she may never. This is what I was denying her. The knowledge of a child that would just cause a new rift between us. The denial of her continued negative and hateful attitude. It didn't help, but did it hurt anymore than it would had I not denied it? No, it would have just been more prolonged, and more difficult in months when as a pregnant girl I need less stress. this was the only denial I was in.

Maybe I am bonkers, but I think more girls in an unplanned pregnancy are effected by by trying to "deny" the anger that will will come from parents or whoever is not "on the boat" with the plan. I would not do it over, I would get a better security at the hospital door. Maybe some muscle that will remove anyone who is trying to deter a decision that is well made. Whatever the decision maybe. Get a gal some muscle. A friend who can stand up and and say no you are being over bearing and pushy to those people who are not diplomatic and caring in their concern. I get that people want to make all the options avaiable and thought thru, but make it caring and gentle. Make this decision with all the knowledge you can. Make it with research, sole-search, heart-search and mind-search. Not with pushiness, hatefulness, anger or resentment. Not for everone else, but for the child. Whatever the decision is. But appoint a person to protect your heart. someone who is a voice of reason, and who has no motive or connection emotionally beyond 100% support. And take this person with you to any decision making moments. or along to tell your parents. make them involved as a second version of you. one who is removed and is solely ther for support and concern for your sanity and the welfare of your needs.

In the long run this will make you more informed, more healthy, more sane and more secure that all things are covered. And also that that door will not open to find a un-caring person who is there to solely steal the joy. I pray all girls know that Abrazo is there for them. Abrazo Gals are there to help them. And by doing that they ensure the baby and ap's are well taken care of as well. May you all find that perfect decision. And remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. he will give you the tools to cope if you let him in.

Lisa

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Lisa,

Thank you for sharing!! You are one amazing woman!!!

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Amen! Wow, Lisa! I am teared up after reading your heartfelt post. I KNOW your testimony is bound to help others!!! You are an inspiration to all women.

Elaine

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Wow Lisa,

Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story with us. It means a lot!!

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I waited until the day after Baby Cliff was born to call Abrazo. I emailed them about 2 weeks before I gave birth but didn't really "talk" to them. The reason I waited is because 2 1/2 years ago I placed a son in a semi open adoption. I felt like I just gave him away. I get pictures and a letter once a year but it is EXTREMELY impersonal. I don't know all the little things he does, I never get to hear his little voice. I want to send a letter to them through the adoption agency but am scared that I won't get a reply and will feel rejected.

I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again so I decided I would just keep Baby Cliff even though in my heart I knew there was NO way I could. I just convinced myself that everything would be alright. That is until I saw his sweet little face. That boy deserved the best. I know I couldn't be the best mother to a newborn with a 4 and 3 year old running around the house wanting my undivided attention. I just hoped and prayed that this agency would be different. AND IT WAS!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe that I could have so much contact with my AP's. It is absolutely amazing. I know that he is with SUCH GREAT PARENTS!!!!!!! My only regret is wishing I called Abrazo 2 1/2 years ago. Now I will have a son I will never really KNOW. It breaks my heart. I just hope that one day he wants to meet me so that way I can tell him all the things I never got to say.

amanda

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Amanda, I just have to say thank you for sharing this. You and the Longs are an inspiration to me! Baby Cliff is one lucky little boy to have ALL of this love in his life!

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Wow! Lisa and Amanda thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. Thank you for putting into perspective what you were going through when you placed your children. What amazing women you both are, your children and adoptive parents are blessed to have you in their lives.

We have a mostly closed relationship with our daughter's birthmother at her request and so we don't really know how she is feeling and what she is going through and we wonder how she is doing on a daily basis. We miss her being a part of our lives and have so many questions for her that we're not sure will ever be answered.

My husband and I took placement of our daughter on August 29, 2005 and that is where we met her wonderful birthmother for the first time, we have only spoken with her one more time since then. She did not make a placement plan for Leyna until after she was born and she didn't tell her family about her pregnancy. We worry about her and wonder how her family will take the news if and/or when they find out. We hope that they will be supportive of her and her decision. We hope that one day we will be able to have a relationship with her and her family, because, after all, they are Leyna's family too.

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Amanda,

Thanks for sharing your story!! I am glad to hear that your BP/AP relationship is working out as well as you had hope. Baby Cliff is a very lucky guy to be loved by so many people!!!!

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Amanda

Reading this made me think so much about our BP. She had the same situation happen to her only her 1st adoption was completely closed. She has a lot of regrets as she did not know that Abrazo existed and that people like us would be willing to have an open relationship. I just tell her all the time and I'll tell you time changes things and when your child is older you will be able to explain alot of things that you cannot now. I know it is hard thou in the mean time. You have wonderful AP's' they were in my orientation group and they love little Cliff so much; You and he complete their family. We cannot go back and change things we did not know so don't be too hard on yourself about your 1st placement just do all you can with this relationship and who knows what wil happen! if your 1st adoptive family knew the benefits of having more openess then they would know that it is best for your 1st child. Hang in there!

I waited until the day after Baby Cliff was born to call Abrazo. I emailed them about 2 weeks before I gave birth but didn't really "talk" to them. The reason I waited is because 2 1/2 years ago I placed a son in a semi open adoption. I felt like I just gave him away. I get pictures and a letter once a year but it is EXTREMELY impersonal. I don't know all the little things he does, I never get to hear his little voice. I want to send a letter to them through the adoption agency but am scared that I won't get a reply and will feel rejected.

I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again so I decided I would just keep Baby Cliff even though in my heart I knew there was NO way I could. I just convinced myself that everything would be alright. That is until I saw his sweet little face. That boy deserved the best. I know I couldn't be the best mother to a newborn with a 4 and 3 year old running around the house wanting my undivided attention. I just hoped and prayed that this agency would be different. AND IT WAS!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe that I could have so much contact with my AP's. It is absolutely amazing. I know that he is with SUCH GREAT PARENTS!!!!!!! My only regret is wishing I called Abrazo 2 1/2 years ago. Now I will have a son I will never really KNOW. It breaks my heart. I just hope that one day he wants to meet me so that way I can tell him all the things I never got to say.

amanda

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I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again so I decided I would just keep Baby Cliff even though in my heart I knew there was NO way I could. I just convinced myself that everything would be alright. That is until I saw his sweet little face. That boy deserved the best. I know I couldn't be the best mother to a newborn with a 4 and 3 year old running around the house wanting my undivided attention. I just hoped and prayed that this agency would be different. AND IT WAS!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe that I could have so much contact with my AP's. It is absolutely amazing. I know that he is with SUCH GREAT PARENTS!!!!!!! My only regret is wishing I called Abrazo 2 1/2 years ago. Now I will have a son I will never really KNOW. It breaks my heart. I just hope that one day he wants to meet me so that way I can tell him all the things I never got to say.

amanda

Thanks for sharing your story, Amanda :) I am glad to hear that you have such a great relationship with his AP's - that is what I hope and long for, too, as a future AP...

Keep praying for that reunion with your son - miracles do happen every day... :)

Hopeful - Laura

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I will tell a little of my story here about pregnancy denial and the denial of the kids.

When I got pregnant with Nicholas I was 17 and my grandparents were raising my other son. When I found out I was pregnant I did not know that what I was going to do. Shortly after finding out I was pregnant I contacted Abrazo. We waited a few months beause I was early in my pregnancy to match me with families. I chose one family and was upfront and honest with them at our meeting that I planned on hiding this pregnancy from my entire family because I knew that they would not support my decision on the adoption. After the meeting they called me and told me that they decided not to match with me because I was not going to tell my family and they were not comfortable with that. So I took it upon myself that I was going to convince the next adoptive family that I had told my family and they were supporting me and that is exactly what I done. Several months maybe several several months after Nicholas' birth I told the adoptive family that my family did not have any clue about Nicholas and I wanted to keep it that way. They told me that they knew that and I was not as smart as I thought I was and they respected my wishes and we kept it a "secret". When I found out that I was pregnant with Grace and we decided that we were going to place her for adoption I decided that I was not going to my family either. I told Grace's adoptive mom from the begining and she accepted it and we never talked about it.

Fast forward several years....Randy would always hold the adoptions over my head. Anytime that he would argue he would tell me that he was going to tell my family about Nicholas and Grace. He was thinking that they would not support me anymore that they would hate me for life and that this would be the easiest way to get them out of my life. I would always beg and plead like I was pleading for my life for him not to tell them . I just did not know how my family was going to react. He knew or he thought the he knew how they would react. Well in December of 2001 Randy and I got into a major fight and I was going to leave him so I called my grandparents to come "rescue" me. Well when they got there we were still fighting and all ym grandparents wanted me to do was get mine and Tanners things and to leave. Randy pulls out the scrapbook of Nicholas and Grace and tells my grandparents that what he was holding in his hands would make them hate me forever. I was tired of him holding it over my head and I told him to hand the book over and let them see and that I was not going to hide it anymore. Well what did he do..He put the book up and told them not to worry about it . So he was to scared to give it to them and I had worreid all these years. Well now they wre questioning me and I felt that it was time that I came clean. I went and go the scrapbooks which also had copies of the relinquishment papers that we signed and handed them to my grandparents and went and locked myself in the bathroom for them to find out.

They were both upset and crying and wanting to talk to me about it. That night we sat there and talked and talked and talked about the adoptions. Of course they were old and did not understand the contact that I had with them. So since they were confused I picked up the phone and dialed Nicholas' mom and handed my grandmother the phone. I know it was not right to put both of them on the spot but thats what I did.

I went home with them that night . They told me that they were very upset that I hid it from them but it was in the past and nothing that they or I could do about it and that they would just accept the fact and move on and have has much communication with NIcholas and Grace as possible. We were all glad that Randy had nothing to "hold over my head" because everything was out in the open. About a year later we told my 2 uncles who I was very close with as well because my grandparents knew my life was not that stable and that they were not going to be living that much longer and they wanted Nicholas and Grace to be able to find me if they lost contact. So this was a good idea. They do not really talk with me that much about it and they understand now. My extended family knew nothing about the adoption until May 2005 when my grandfather passed away. On his tombstone he wanted the names of all his grandkids and Nicholas and Grace's name went on it even though he never met them and lots of the extended family was wondering who they were . It was not a time to talk about it but I think that most of them now know.

I will tell anyone and everyone that I know that hiding my pregnancy and hiding Nicholas and Grace from my family for years was the HARDEST thing that I ever done! If I had it to do all over again I would do things all different. Nicholas and Grace are often brought up our conversations now and it is totally stress free. I could not imagine to this day about them not knowing about the adoption. They would have found out sooner or later and I am glad that they found out when they did and not when we divorced!

OK this turned out to be a really long post....gotta get to bed !!

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My extended family knew nothing about the adoption until May 2005 when my grandfather passed away. On his tombstone he wanted the names of all his grandkids and Nicholas and Grace's name went on it even though he never met them and lots of the extended family was wondering who they were . It was not a time to talk about it but I think that most of them now know.

I've always heard "the truth will set you free," and your story is proof. What a special man your grandfather was to have all of his grandchildren on his marker. What a bittersweet affirmation of his love for you as well. Thank you for sharing.

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This is an important article, because it stands as a reminder to all of us of the importance of helping panicked moms-to-be know that they are not alone, and that adoption is a viable option!!

Pregnancy denial' often behind infanticide

Mothers tend to be desperate, but not immoral: sociologist

Bruce Ward, The Ottawa Citizen

Published: Sunday, October 07, 2007

Angela Kuehl stands out among Canadian women accused of infanticide partly because of her age.

The Ottawa woman charged with second-degree murder in the death of her newborn baby is 26, an irregularity in such cases.

"It tends to be a 17-year-old, or an 18-year-old," said Kirsten Kramar, a University of Winnipeg sociologist and author of Unwilling Mothers, Unwanted Babies.

"She's a bit older," Ms. Kramar said yesterday from Winnipeg. "That doesn't mean to say there aren't women of that age who commit infanticide.

"There are women in Canadian history who are in their 30s who have committed infanticide because they have been raped or got pregnant out of wedlock or have been in denial and done the same thing. So it's not unheard of, but it's more unusual."

Some psychologists argue that there is a condition called "pregnancy denial," said Ms. Kramar.

"And then when the baby comes they experience a kind of shock. Oftentimes, they don't actively kill the baby, they just leave it and let it die and then hide the body of the baby. Sometimes, the babies end up being smothered because they cover their mouths to stifle the cries of the baby." Ms. Kramar said women who kill their babies tend to be desperate, socially isolated, poor and alone.

But they are not immoral monsters, she said.

"They are not intending to set out to kill the babies. What this is about is hiding the baby. So women are giving birth alone in their bedrooms, essentially."

Ms. Kramar spoke in general terms to explain what conditions set the stage for infanticide.

"What happens is some women attempt to hide their sexual activity, for whatever reason. They may grow up in religious families and they don't want their families and friends to know they've been sexually active. And they don't feel they can go and have an abortion for whatever reason.

"So they have a really strong moral framework ... They just don't know what to do, so they conceal the pregnancy."

In a landmark 1970 statistical study of child killing, psychiatrist Phillip Resnick found that mothers who kill their newborns are usually not psychotic, depressed or suicidal.

The study also found that most mothers who commit neonaticide -- killing of a baby within 24 hours following birth -- do not plan to kill the infant, but do so in terror or hysteria.

The public's reaction to infanticide is to identify with the baby and to condemn the mother, said Ms. Kramar.

"They really don't see the woman as having experienced any frailties -- they just focus on the innocent baby. It's a pretty black-and-white kind of morality.

"I think that's because today, as opposed to 100 years ago, we see the baby more in terms of an innocent victim."

Historically, some people would identify more with the mother than with the baby, she said.

"Today, we seem to have lost that identification with the mother, and with the difficulties of motherhood ... we just sort of think we've got birth control and we've got abortion. And anybody who gets pregnant today can just deal with it: have an abortion or give it up for adoption, right?

"What we tend to forget is for some women there still exists those 19th century conditions where they feel that they don't have options."

© The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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On Saturday night a woman dropped a baby off at a San Antonio fire station. Apparently she was a friend of a friend of the baby's mother. Read Story Here. Because she didn't follow proper Baby Moses law procedures she could face abandonment charges.

If only this mother could have found Abrazo and instead she could have made a confidential adoption plan providing her baby with safety and security without being persecuted for her choice.

It's never to late to consider your options! A fireman can't find your baby home but Abrazo can!

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Thats Very Sad!! Just shows more info about Adoption needs to be put out!! Somehow, somewhere, by Someone!!

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