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start hitting up your friends... yes, you do need new references.

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Yes you will need the references again

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start hitting up your friends... yes, you do need new references.

Yes you will need the references again

Great, thanks guys! Digging into the paperwork today. I'd forgotten how fun it is to divulge every personal detail! :P

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Great, thanks guys! Digging into the paperwork today. I'd forgotten how fun it is to divulge every personal detail! :P

Yes, it's good times! The nice thing was that we referenced our old application a lot to help with some of the details. It was interesting to see how we answered the questions in what I'd call the essay portion of the app...and then to think of how our views had changed after going through the adoption process once. For instance, I vividly remember the question on what contact info we'd share with a birthfamily and the first time we answered it something like "we'd share our email address". I'm sure we were afraid of being bombarded via phone, mail, and a visit on our doorstep by a birthmom looking for her child back in a couple years...um silly us! We had a lot to learn but I can look back at some of those responses and worries and see how we've grown in the 3+ years since we first started looking into adoption. I didn't really enjoy filling out ALL the paperwork again but understood why we needed to and it was kinda fun to reflect on where we were in the past and where we've come to now.

Edited by Jocelyn

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Melissa, you are such a pro by now, hopefully your paperwork will be a lot easier! Good luck!

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I am such a nerd that I enjoyed filling out the papers the second time. It wasn't as stressful because I wasn't too worried about being accepted like I was the first time.

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Great, thanks guys! Digging into the paperwork today. I'd forgotten how fun it is to divulge every personal detail! :P

Yes, it's good times! The nice thing was that we referenced our old application a lot to help with some of the details. It was interesting to see how we answered the questions in what I'd call the essay portion of the app...and then to think of how our views had changed after going through the adoption process once. For instance, I vividly remember the question on what contact info we'd share with a birthfamily and the first time we answered it something like "we'd share our email address". I'm sure we were afraid of being bombarded via phone, mail, and a visit on our doorstep by a birthmom looking for her child back in a couple years...um silly us! We had a lot to learn but I can look back at some of those responses and worries and see how we've grown in the 3+ years since we first started looking into adoption. I didn't really enjoy filling out ALL the paperwork again but understood why we needed to and it was kinda fun to reflect on where we were in the past and where we've come to now.

Jocelyn, you sound like us. It was pretty neat to see how much we had "grown" in our adoption views. We also had put something like we would give out our email. We have learned so much and why it is so important for Garrett to have the relationship that we are growing with his birthmom. I would never have guessed that she would have been to our home and that we would have the type of relationship that we have. We were silly weren't we!

So here's to all of us who have grown and opened our minds and our hearts!!

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Paperwork is such fun, huh? We got another stack of it tonight for our new Virginia homestudy. I don't mind going through the process but it is tiring to have to do the same thing twice for the same adoption. Two physical forms, two employment forms, two applications, two versions of basically the same questions... It's just timeconsuming when we're pressed for time to begin with!

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So here's to all of us who have grown and opened our minds and our hearts!!

Well said Monica!

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I haven't found the right spot to ask this and haven't found where it is. I know Iv'e read it some place but would like to know the reasoning since I have so many people ask me why. I grew up in NY State (Buffalo area) and I know that Abrazo doesn't accept adoptive couples from NYS but I don't know the exact details? I can imagine why and it doesn't surprise me but I just want to know so I can say something more informative.

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They don't accept couples who live in NY state because in order to work with them, Abrazo would have to have an office in NY (I believe).

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They don't accept couples who live in NY state because in order to work with them, Abrazo would have to have an office in NY (I believe).

I'm pretty sure you are correct Ellen.

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Back to letters of reference. Does it matter that the three folks we're asking all knew me before I knew my husband? As in, someone could say the were all my friends, though they know us as a couple and parents now.

Thanks

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Fran is correct-- letters of reference can be written by any non-relative who can speak to your readiness to parent as a couple.

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Abrazo accepted the reference letters from our friends, but the Social Worker wanted those and one from one of our parents.

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