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Hi all,

Well, my husband & I just submitted our application to ABRAZO yesterday  .  I felt like I used to when I'd been preparing & studying to take a big exam and finally took it and was done with it.....except for waiting to find out what I made.  So, I'm just looking for support from you out there who have adopted or who have placed.  I just keep thinking of all these questions and worrying and wondering when we'll know and wanting so much to just buy every single baby item I possibly can - I know I'm jumping the gun a bit but I'm ready to get the nursery all set up and just sit in there and admire all the wonderful baby things and imagine how it will feel when there really is a little baby in there.  So, one question I thought of today while on the treadmill (where I do most of my thinking or lately it's been before falling asleep which is causing me to have a mild case of insomnia) - we live in Washington state so we will be flying from Texas to Washington once our baby is placed with us (positive thinking, it's very powerful).  I suddenly worried about all the germs that the baby will be exposed to on the plane - won't it just be a week or so old at that point (all our relatives live in Dallas so I'm sure we won't be able to come back to Washington right away - this is a really big deal in our family - we've all been waiting so long).  I want to have a special plastic bubble created with it's own air supply that the little baby can stay in while on the airplane - not breathing all that dirty air.  Am I worrying for nothing and just being way too weird about this (I hope I won't be one of "those" moms - the type who won't let anyone come close to their baby for fear they may contaminate them).  Did anyone else adopt from somewhere not in the state you live and had to fly home with your baby?  Did your baby get sick?  How old was he/she when you flew?

Well, I'm sure you'll all be hearing from me quite a bit so I'll try to wrap this one up and save the other ??? for later.

Thanks!!

Lisa :)

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HI!

We were one of the very fortunate families that were placed very quickly.  We were in the August 2001 orientation group and we brought our little boy home in December.  We live in Texas, but our placement was right around Christmas and we flew to "the Grandma's" for Christmas.  My brother in law who is a pediatrician shamed us a little for taking our baby on the plane so soon, but it all turned out well.  The Abrazo crew is great and adoption is not nearly as scary as most think.  Keep thinking positive and soon you will have a little bundle of joy to complete your family.  Best of luck.

Mommy2

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We live in another state and adopted our son with Abrazo so we flew home with him. I was also concerned about this and asked my pediatrician ahead of time. He said there was no problem! He did suggest that we feed him a bottle while taking off and landing because the sucking would help the pressure in his ears. Our son was almost 3 weeks old, and he slept the whole time. (Except for when my husband changed his diaper in the airplane bathroom...did you know there is a changing table in there? I didn't.)

We heard lots of oohhs and aahhs, and it was fun! I would anticipate that you will be in Texas at least a week after placement--possibly two--because you have to wait for the Interstate Compact to clear before you can travel out of state. (You can travel anywhere within the state...you just can't leave Texas.) I wouldn't be too nervous about the germs unless people are just getting right in his face. To keep from getting cabin fever while waiting for Interstate Compact to clear (a hotel room can close in on you during 2-3 week stay), we got out with our son on several occasions. He never got sick. I think babies still have a lot of the mother's/birthmother's immunity in them for awhile so they don't pick up every little bug.

I understand about the insomnia. Our son is now 17 months old, and I don't think I've had a decent night of sleep since we were matched with his birthmom! There's a lot to think about before and after and a lot that keeps you awake at night, but it's such a wonderful experience! I wish you the best! :D

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:D

Thanks suebee and mommy2 for your enouraging words.  I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one worrying about something like that and that all went well with your travels.  Staying in Texas a 2 - 3 wks will be great and should give my mom, sisters, and aunts plenty of time to get to know our little baby once he/she is with is.  Washington is a long way from Texas and it may be a few months before we get back there to visit or vice versa so they'll really enjoy that.

Thanks again,

Lisa

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Guest Jada

I wouldn't be too worried about taking your baby on the plane unless it is premature. When my daughter was born she was 9 weeks premature. She was released from the hospital after 3 weeks but the doctor said absolutely no traveling(especially airplanes) untill she reached her full gestational age.He said not only are the germs awful for a premature baby on an airplane but the pressure can be very painful for them on their ears and the stale air in an airplane is bad for the premature lungs.  But he said once she reached her full gestational age it was fine to travel with her as long as people didn't touch her.Hope this helps!

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:) Thanks Jada.  That's good to know.  I never even thought about the pressure on their ears.  The reason I asked is because I've been sick twice as a result of flying (I think that's why).  Both times though I flew to Europe (once to Finland and it was a 10 or 12 hour flight, can't remember but I was so sick about a day after I arrived & I never get sick so I think the air was just germy (I know they say it's recirculated but I still think you're more exposed to germs) and the other time was when I went to England - I didn't get as sick but had flu like symptoms for a couple of days (again, it was a longer flight).  Anyway - thanks again for taking the time to respond and to let me know what your doctor said.

-Lisa

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:p  :D  :)  :p  :p

Ok, we've made our flight arrangements and booked our accommodations for the September Orientation.  We are elated to be going to this.  It suddenly feels like we are doing something to make our dream of becoming a mommy & daddy (other than to our 4 precious kitties) come true.  I have started working on our profile/resume.  Today I put a rough draft together of the 1st page and now it's up to my husband to add/delete/edit it.  I just couldn't wait until I got home from work to do it, I did it over my lunch hour (hourish - I probably took a bit over an hour).  I must say, all the information that Abrazo sends to help you collect your thoughts is so wonderful.  If anyone is considering them, I must say I am more than impressed with their professionalism, diligence, support, & information (just look at this website - how many other agencies offer something like this?).  If there are any adoptive parents reading this who shared their adoption stories for us newbies (we rec'd about 10), bless you & thank you.  I've re-read them so many times already I have almost memorized them.  It's so reassuring.  Finally, thank you to the most important people of all - the birthparents.  Without you, Abrazo and all of us wouldn't be here.  I've said it a million times (& of course, because I am a birthparent, I'm probably a bit partial) - birthparents are amazing - I've always said that the reason so many wonderful things have happened to me (I'm blessed in more ways than I could even go into on a post) because I made the decision I did to place my precious baby girl for adoption.  I feel I made the ultimate sacrifice and when you give life to something so wonderful and so precious and then choose to place her with parents who can provide in a way you can't at that time in your life and who can offer her their undivided attention, you will have good things happen to you - it's the whole, do unto others and what comes around, goes around kinda thing.  Well, I'm kinda getting off on a tangent again - somehow, my conversations here always turn to her.  She is a special little girl, very special.  So - now we wait (not something I'm good at but I'm going to learn to get better at it....).  We wait for the Orientation weekend and wait to meet our fellow Parents of Tomorrow friends and then we wait for our homestudy, and then - we wait for the best day of our entire lives to happen (can you tell I'm just a bit ready to be a mommy?  I feel like I've been "expecting" for the past 3 1/2 yrs - in a way, I have.)  

Speak to you all soon, (I'm sure).

Lisa

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Can anyone help me???? We are in the process of filling out our appilication and are not sure how to answer a few questions. One of the question is in regards to what minor, correctable handicaps or medical probelms would we be able to accept. And then the other question pertains to what permanent handicaps or medical problems are we willing to consider. I am sure I am overthinking these questions but I am trying to be as honest as I can. Any help would be appreciated!!

Thanks,

Angie

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Can anyone help me????  We are in the process of filling out our appilication and are not sure how to answer a few questions.  One of the question is in regards to what minor, correctable handicaps or medical probelms would we be able to accept.  And then the other question pertains to what permanent handicaps or medical problems are we willing to consider.  I am sure I am overthinking these questions but I am trying to be as honest as I can.  Any help would be appreciated!! 

Thanks,

Angie

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Hey Angie, The best advice I can give you is be very honest about how you feel and how any situation would affect your family. I believe we said we would be accepting of any minor problem that could be corrected. Whatever the case may be. Try not to stress to much on your answers to the question's. Good luck on all the paper work, it's all worth it.... rolleyes.gif

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Hi Angie,

I agree with Sherrie's response.

I remember those questions too (and if I remember correctly, there was just one line or maybe 2 to write your response) and trying to think of every possible thing I could/would feel comfortable with and things I couldn't/wouldn't. Just be honest and try not to overanalyze it (as you say) or you'll never finish your application. In the end, I think we said something similar to Sherrie's response and in my mind I was thinking, "oh my gosh, what if they don't call us about a case because I put something here and maybe that child was meant to be with us...." I just wanted to be contacted and given the option to decide at that time whether or not something was or wasn't something we felt we could handle....because I'm such a major "gut feeling" kind of person - I may feel one way but until you're actually faced with it, you just never know.

Lisa

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Thank you for your advice!

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Angie,

I had actually wondered the same thing. I am not in the medical field so my thoughts on it were like...hare lip, cleft palete, birth marks, etc. My husband and I were afraid on some questions that we were being "to picky", but they want you to be honest. Just answer the questions the best you can. Sometimes going with your first instinct is your true response. When we over analyze things many times we confuse ourselves.

Good luck with your qpplication. Which orientation are you going to?

Elaine

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Just wanted to chime in on this topic. When we were filling out the applications we had the same thoughts as most of you. I think we put that minor handicaps or correctible we would be willing to accept.

When we got our call about Miller we were told that he had 2 extra didgets, one on each pinky. I could have cared less, our son was there waiting for us. We went the next morning to pick him up and we saw his little extras and we thought ok... That same day we went to lunch with his BP and she asked us many times if it was ok that his fingers were like that. I think she thought we wouldn't love him if he wasn't perfect (which he is so perfect). We reassured her that we had no problems with his fingers. On our first doctor visit, the doctor tied string (stiches) around them. She then told us that they would turn purple and fall off and two weeks later they did just that. (sidenote: they did not have bone in them, more like a large ball filled with blood) I forget about it all the time but then I will hold hid hand and feel his scar. I love him just the way he is!

Just thought I would share our little exprience (don't even know if it would be considered a correctible condition) but I think back and am happy I checked the ok box or maybe Miller wouldn't be with us today.

This may not help but it just might wink.gif

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Elaine,

We are hoping to go the May 20th and 21st!! We have biological twin boys that are 4 years old. That was the only session offered to couples that already had children. Keep our fingers cross taht everything goes well. My boys are ready to have a brother or sister that we are not able to give them.

Thanks for your help!

Angie

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Hi Angie - we too are planning to attend in May - we are Abrazo Againers and are thrilled to be starting our second chapter with Abrazo. Let us know if we can help in any way. Hope to see you later this year!

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I hope we will be able to meet each other in May. We are hoping to mail off our application this week but we are waiting on letters from our insurance and fertility doctor. I am getting very excited but very scared as well! I just want to know that we are approved and maybe I will be able to breathe again. I am sure once that happens then something else will come up. Our boys are very excited about becoming big brothers. They ask me all the time when are they going to get their baby brother or sister. We have biological twin boys that are 4. They are absolutly gifts from God!!! We are so lucky to have them. You said that you are againers, so how old is your child?

Hope to see you in May!!!

Angie

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Something else we did on this subject was get online and look at images of some of the problems. When we started we thought, sure we can handle that. When we looked at some of the problems we realized we were not ready for some of them.

You have to be honest with yourself. The worst thing is to not be honest and hurt a child in the process. There is nothing wrong with not being able to handle everything.

Good luck and have a great ride!

Lisa

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I hope we will be able to meet each other in May.  We are hoping to mail off our application this week but we are waiting on letters from our insurance and fertility doctor.  I am getting very excited but very scared as well!  I just want to know that we are approved and maybe I will be able to breathe again.  I am sure once that happens then something else will come up.  Our boys are very excited about becoming big brothers.  They ask me all the time when are they going to get their baby brother or sister.  We have biological twin boys that are 4.  They are absolutly gifts from God!!!  We are so lucky to have them.  You said that you are againers, so how old is your child?

Hope to see you in May!!!  smile.gif

Angie

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Hey Angie, I can remember feeling exactly the way you are now. I wasn't sure we had been approved until orientation. Be honest on your paper work and you'll get approved no doubt about it. (if you get invited to orientation , you are approved) The only thing I can think of to disqualify you would be if you were still trying to get pregnant. I do know you have to be done with that. Take a deep breath and get the application in and you'll be a new parent in no time. Our first adoption we matched 2 days after orientation and our baby boy was born 2 months later. This time around we matched before orientation and we a eagerly awaiting our new baby girl to be born on March 2. It is an absolute awesome journey and I feel so blessed to be expiercing it the second time around. I thought such a gift from God only came around once in a life time....I am pleased that I was wrong....Best Wishes.... smile.gif Call your Dr. and have them fax the paper work and your ins. co too...... cool.gif

Edited by stennison

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To elaborate (and to pacify the agency's legal eagle!): be assured that Abrazo does not invite prospective parents to orientation until/unless it appears certain from the submitted paperwork that the family fits the agency's stated admissions requirements. Abrazo recognizes that coming to orientation requires no small level of investment on the applicants' part, and the agency is appreciative of this fact.

Orientation enables both parties (applicants and agency) to better assess the potential "fit" between the prospective parents' needs and the agency's services. It allows both parties to share information and explore rapport. In most cases, at the close of orientation, the agency issues a written admissions decision, which is either a conditional acceptance letter, or a deferral for specific reasons stated therein.

The primary reasons an applicant might not be accepted into Abrazo's program may include: falsification or misrepresentation of information, ongoing fertility treatment efforts, domestic or personal instability (of a medical, financial, marital or psychological nature), criminal history, inadequate life expectancy due to current illness, lack of integrity, history of child abuse or neglect, incompatibility with agency policies/staff/placement modalities, etc. Abrazo's purpose in assessing applicants is not to judge their worthiness as parents but to honestly convey our program's limitations and dedicate our efforts and resources to those we are best qualified to help. (Admission into the agency's program is in no way a guarantee of placement.)

In certain instances, in which qualified families have already secured homestudy approval and met agency standards, the agency reserves the right to offer program approval enabling specific applicants to officially become clients and therefore match before orientation, when this is necessary to provide for a child already in need. However, all agency clients are expected to participate in orientation and/or reunion, in order for the agency to verify for its Licensing authority that quality pre- and/or post-placement education and support have been directly provided by Abrazo to all families adopting from within its program.

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Hi Angie, we adopted our son through Abrazo in March of 2004. He is 10 months old and a blessing greater than any we could have ever imagined.

We understand the process and accept that it has no specific timeline but instead is a journey to match the right BP's with the right AP's. Could we have a one year old and a newborn? yes, but it could also take significantly longer. Either way we are ready to go - when the time is right it will all come together and we will again be blessed with yet another wonderful birth family and a new child to love.

The waiting is the hard part. I heard something this week - "begin with the end in mind" Focus on the end result and the time will pass. From our perspective we hardly remember the waiting and the paperwork - the day Matthew came home it all just melted away - it just was not important any more.

Hang in there!

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Greatly Put!! Once you are home safe and sound it truely does just melt away!!

Hi Angie, we adopted our son through Abrazo in March of 2004. He is 10 months old and a blessing greater than any we could have ever imagined.

We understand the process and accept that it has no specific timeline but instead is a journey to match the right BP's with the right AP's. Could we have a one year old and a newborn? yes, but it could also take significantly longer. Either way we are ready to go - when the time is right it will all come together and we will again be blessed with yet another wonderful birth family and a new child to love.

The waiting is the hard part. I heard something this week - "begin with the end in mind"  Focus on the end result and the time will pass. From our perspective we hardly remember the waiting and the paperwork - the day Matthew came home it all just melted away - it just was not important any more.

Hang in there!

13533[/snapback]

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We got our application in the mail today.....phew, it is involved. Of course our first adoption probably had that much too but we were just wanting to be parents & after all of our IF heartbreak it didn't really matter. Oh, well.....we'll start with first page & move forward.

Our plan is to be at the May orientation session, we've got a lot to do in the next few weeks aside from completing the application. That includes a trip to visit my grandma in the College Station, TX area at Easter time. Wrap up DD's pre-school year, annual year sale, painting & house repairs already planned.

We haven't told our families yet of our plans to start this next adoption, won't they be in for a surprise?! smile.gif Humm, maybe a baby gift is in order for them very soon!

Off to look throught the paper work & start making list of things to do......

...pray for guidance, patience & strenght

...homestudy

...profile pictures

...rough copy of letter for birthparents

...letters of recommendation & physicals & letter from my GYN

...work, eat, sleep, clean house, entertain & prepare a 5 year old to become a big sister

...have fun, relax, scrapbook & enjoy life

Have a good week! tongue.gif

"Do not fret---it only causes harm" Psalm 37:8

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I know exactly what you are feeling. We just sent our application off today!!! I was so happy just to have that weight lifted off my shoulders. If you are anything like me, I overanalyze everything and make things 10 times more difficult than it needs to be. Good luck and best wishes to a speedy completion of your application.

Angie

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I mailed our formal application this morning. Now I am hoping that our reference folks have mailed their letters or send them this week.

It is a good feeling to have that part done. We'll wait to see if we are invited to the May orientation session.

Now, off to a busy week....work, prep for a trip see grandma in Texas (College Station area), registar DD for kindergarden, & pack too!

Gotta scoot....

Have a great week! biggrin.gif

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Congratulations on submitting your application. Please let us know how it is all going. I get so excited to find out how everyone is doing.

Good luck,

Claudia

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