elly_mae

I agree with Fran! I would put the little things she may forget . Light bulbs, laundry detergent, pens, scantrons, etc

Carissa, wow! I never realized I had such a big impact on you! I was also unaware that I had "drilled in" being yourself, even from my first orientation. I think that's information that should be widespread! The forum is so amazing because it's so rare that all 3 aspects of the triad help each other at Abrazo! I've learned so much from AP's side and I value it so much. It has helped me try do nothing but my best in many aspects of life, but especially my placements. It definitely hasn't always been easy, but I'm now starting to appreciate that it has ALWAYS been worth it.

I post to the forum almost exclusively through my phone. I've never had any problems. I can access the desktop version and it works fine!

I was drawn to the first couple I chose because of her profession and the fact that my son would grow up to be bilingual. And she loves to bake! There wasn't much in particular that drew me to Tim and Leslie from their profile. I just felt a bond with them from the moment I met them at orientation. However, I do like that they appreciate ice cream and Sergio liked that they are into soccer. And it was a good match. I think, as a birth mother, Carissa gives fantastic advice! We look through so many profiles and have to narrow it down. Put some pictures that jump out at us. I don't mean this in a bad way, but sometimes the words start to blend together and you forget which family enjoys what activity. Don't try to appeal to expectant mothers. What I mean by that is don't make it with the mindset of "What will get us picked?". That's slightly insulting (to me). The right woman will pick you for who you are, not who she wants you to be. So be yourselves and have fun. We want to know that our child will have a fun, good life filled with love and laughter. We need to know that we are welcome in your lives! There is so much I could say about the phrasing! Just be yourself. You won't miss your baby If anyone has questions or would like suggestions from a birth mom's perspective, I would be more than happy to help!

Awesome news Mari! Glad you had such a good weekend. Thanks for sharing.

Such an amazing band. I don't understand the thought process of some people.

Mari, I hope your meds sure kick in quickly! Praying for you!

You're welcome. Hope it helped!

Katie, there is a thread that addresses this issue http://abrazo.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=4612&view=&hl=&fromsearch=1

Mari, I'm very glad to hear you have had some relief, even if you aren't ready to take the world (or even the day) by the horns! I have always viewed you as a sort of surrogate mother, if you will. I admire you and I love you. I respect how you have always been a voice.of strength even in my toughest of adversities. Thank you for everything you have done for me and everyone on the Forum. You are a blessing in so many ways. Carissa, wasn't she AMAZING at that orientation? I have been fortunate enough to speak alongside her and Lauranda at two orientatioms, and their story touches me each time.

Thinking of you today, Mari!

Welcome, sweet babes!

Wow, a life ended too soon. I heard about that on the news. It gives me chills. Praying for his whole family.

How sad. Sending my prayers for the White family.

You do this and so much more. You're a valuable part of Abrazo's community and I'm so grateful I know you.

http://birth-grandma.blogspot.com/?m=1 Hey, Mari. I saw this and thought of you!

Congrats to all of his parents.

Mari, I'm so glad you and Lauranda came to group yesterday! It surprised me when Georgiana asked who y'all were, because you and Lauranda hold such a special place in my heart. You have an incredible way of reaching out and touching people's hearts - a rare gift.

How very sad. Praying for her whole family and all of those who loved her.

I'm glad you had a good time at the retreat and it opened your eyes! God definitely wanted you there for a reason! I'm paying for you and Lauranda! I hope she aces all of her classes!

Princess Naomi loves you! It was so nice to see you and Lauranda again!

She has a beautiful writing style. I really liked this post. I never put myself in the adoptive couples' shoes with either of my first meetings, but I was nervous and excited all the same. It is so overwhelming to meet the people who are going to raise your child. I like what she said about the personalities meshing well. I believe my children will inherit a lot from me, and I'm glad that I was at ease with both of my meetings. I'm gregarious and silly, I lack a mental filter at times and I can be very sarcastic. Neither couple minded. This birth mom is right: We don't find the couple, God leads then into our lives. With my current match, I feel so at ease when talking to them. We have had many, many serious conversations and I have asked questions that I consider to be heavy or challenging to answer. I need to know the answer and I have the right to ask them and receive an honest answer. I'm not finding a new home for my dog or something "frivolous" like that. No... I am securing the future for my daughter and I deserve to have as much peace of mind as I can. I feel fortunate that I have such peace of mind, that my questions are never skirted off or taken harshly. It is, of course, a two way street. Tim and Leslie have every right to know about me (and Sergio), to know my past and to be exposed to my heart. It is crucial that we know how the other side reacts when chaos or misunderstandings happen. Without such honesty and openness, how are either of us supposed to feel comfortable working together to stay friends for the sake of the daughter we will soon share? I can't remember the extent to which I have posted on this thread, and I'm too lazy to check. Pardon me if I'm repeating myself. I have words flowing out of me and I feel they are important to share and be read by all. Although the most important part of an open adoption relationship happens post placement, the magnitude of the match cannot be denied or minimalized. I have very much enjoyed sharing a long match with my future family, the man and woman who are going to be my daughter's parents. I have really come to love them, to see them as family. Although I don't want to be too overbearing, too emotional, too serious or too scary, I have been myself throughout the whole thing. They seem quite happy that their future child might have my sense of humor. She might have her (future) birth father's shy nature. She might be fair or caramel complected. She might be as determined and stubborn as Naomi. They have seen the people we are, and they still love us. I know they genuinely care about us- they aren't putting up a front just to get a baby. They aren't seeing that part right now. They realize and accept the reality even I have trouble with sometimes: she isn't their baby, even if there is a yet. She won't be their baby in the hospital. No, she will be their (our) baby after Sergio and I relinquish her. How amazing they are... I can't even begin to describe. I consider myself fortunate that we had months of dialogue before our visit, so I already felt I knew them more deeply than I would have without it. We were matched for 2 months before they visited. We talked so much during that time. Regardless of the intense closeness I felt towards them, I was still nervous for the meeting. I was technically meeting them a second time but under completely different pretenses. What if it blew up in my face? They came to my gate (and almost got eaten my dog), we hugged, and all anxiety disappeared! Our visit was amazing... I knew I had picked the perfect couple for Sergio and me. More importantly, we had chosen the perfect family for our daughter. We are approximately four weeks away from D-Day. I am confident and secure in our relationship. I know this is only the beginning to a beautiful friendship that will last forever. To answer the author's question, how do you pick the right family for your child? The answer is, you don't. They were made for your baby, and vice versa. What's meant to be, will. God is always watching and listening. Trust Him, and He will never let you down. (Sorry if this was too drawn out. Also, please pardon any typos. I'm not about to go through and edit this on a smart phone ).

Hugs to you too, Mari!

That's very sweet! I'm glad Landon likes it!

Congrats, Scott and Deb! May V find peace in these next tender and hard days and weeks.