Almost 23 years ago, a young married couple with infertility traveled to Texas to attend Abrazo’s orientation weekend. They were feeling all the feels, no doubt. Excited, nervous, hopeful, doubtful, reserved (well, he was) and bubbly (she surely was.) Their names were Chris and Melissa, and they were from the Great State of Tennessee. He was the strong, silent type (until you got to know him, at least) while she was one of those “never met a stranger” sort of people. Together, they’d built a stable life and a loving home that was ready for a child in every way. They weren’t entirely sure what to expect, but they had that “when you know” sense that God was guiding them. (Errrr, Abrazo’s tacky blue cooler, aside.)
Growing the Family
Chris & Melissa put together a profile, as many couples adopting after infertility do. It didn’t get a lot of exposure here, though (and that was a good thing.) They matched with a wonderful birth couple within three months, and became the proud parents of a baby girl three months after that. They truly had a heart connection with their daughter’s birthparents that felt like an answered prayer. Marveling at their good fortune, Melissa remembered an Abrazo staff member saying at 5/02 orientation weekend “when you know, you know.” She knew, going forward, that no part of their story had happened by accident.
Five years later, Chris & Melissa decided to adopt again, and they returned to Abrazo, to our delight. This time, they matched two months after orientation with a young single woman, and they learned that no two open adoptions are exactly alike. While their daughter’s birthmom had a husband there to support her throughout the adoption process. their son’s birthmother did not. When they were invited to also participate in that birth, it was the “strong, silent” Chris who stepped up to coach her through delivery, with his grateful, tearful wife there to back them both.
Keeping Connected
Some adoptive couples disappear on their children’s birthparents and on their adoption agencies, once an adoption is done. They consider what happened to be merely transactional. Chris and Melissa weren’t like that, nor are the best of Abrazo’s adoptive families. Chris & Melissa came to Camp Abrazo. Melissa became part of a powerful group of moms called the “Abrazo Elites” who kept in touch to advocate for open adoption and for Abrazo’s clients still in the process. They participated in Abrazo’s regional reunion picnics. They were active on Abrazo’s Forum, paying it forward while continuing to honor their promises to their children’s birthparents. Even their relatives participated on Abrazo’s social media. Why? Because it was the right thing to do– and when you know, you know.
The years passed, and Chris & Melissa’s children grew (as kids are prone to do.) They continued to cheer shamelessly for the TN Volunteers. Chris and Melissa both went through job changes. In 2017, Chris was diagnosed with melanoma, but it didn’t slow him down. He was a Deacon at his church and served on many committees (penance for any faithful Christian, lol.) Chris coached Youth League basketball and football, and ran the football scoreboard at UT-Martin. (Obviously, this family bleeds orange.) Chris became a respected department manager at Lowe’s, where he was known for starting each work day with “bad dad jokes.” Melissa gave up teaching to become a school principal. The family bought Lana’s, a well-known prom and pageant dress shop in their community. In 2023, Chris and Melissa were overjoyed to become grandparents. And through it all, they maintained their friendships in the Abrazo family, because they’re just loyal like that.
Facing the Unknown
There are, of course, unknowns in every person’s life. That’s part of living, after all.
Chris learned in 2024 that the cancer he thought he’d beat years earlier was back, and it had metastasized. The news was definitely unwanted, but the family took it on with the same hope and faith with which they’re known for approaching challenges in life. There were prayer chains all across the country, and many prayers lifted within the Abrazo community. Grace & Melissa’s daughter launched a Facebook page to keep well-wishers informed while his son and granddaughter both helped keep his spirits up. Melissa’s students and Chris’s employees found their own special ways to lend their support. Chris’s medical team fought valiantly to restore him to good health.
Last week, however, things took a turn for the worse, and over the week, Chris Merritt went Home, at the age of just 52. His family and friends are awash with grief, as are his children’s birthparents and many others in their community. Chris was a great man, and his death truly leaves a Chris Merritt-sized hole in the hearts of all who were blest to know him.
When You Know
This isn’t the end of his story, though; that’s the Good News, for those who believe, as Chris did. The best of the son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, uncle, boss and buddy that he was lives on in all of us. And his memory will live on at Abrazo, as well, thanks to donations to the Merritt Memorial Fund set up by his loved ones, as referenced in his obituary.
And for anyone who may be wondering how a bunch of young Texas adoption agency workers knew, all those years ago, that Chris Merritt and his lovely wife would turn out to be the wonderful parents and faithful open adoption promise keepers that they’ve been, we have just one thing to say…”when you know, you know.”
So here’s to our friend, Chris, because we know that he’s at peace now. (We. Just. Know.)
