These days, it seems there’s a lot of talk about abortion, CPS and surrogacy– but what about adoption?
Adoption IS alive and well in the 21st century. It’s not as common as it once was, that’s true. Illegitimacy is a concept that no longer compels single moms to place out of shame, and that’s a good thing. (There’s plenty of room for improvement and reform, of course.)
Yet as long as unplanned pregnancies still occur, as long as children are still being abused or neglected, and as long as people long to build loving homes for kids in need, adoption still matters. It’s still a relevant option for those who feel a need to consider it.
If, for you, parenting is optional, then adoption can potentially be optimal. For those unable to provide for the children they already have and who are having another, maybe adoption may be best. If you don’t want to parent and you don’t have family support, maybe adoption might be best. When your relationship is ending or has ended and you want your baby to have a fresh start in life with two parents in a loving, committed relationship, maybe adoption is best. If you love your child/ren but you cannot be the parent they deserve, perhaps adoption would be best.
And if you need to plan an adoption that meets your needs as well as your child’s, using an ethical adoption agency like Abrazo is your best first move. We’re just a phone call (1-800-454-5683) or text (210-860-5683) away. We can’t promise adoption will be the right choice for every situation. But we do promise to provide you help you can trust, no matter what.
Expecting the Unexpected
Most of the mothers who place through Abrazo are experienced moms already. They’re rarely teen moms, although they may have been that, too, before they ever came to us.
Pregnancy doesn’t always happen when it’s planned. It often seems to happen at the worst possible time. Sometimes, an unplanned pregnancy is something you can adapt to and work into your life and your future. Sometimes, though, the circumstances make it impossible to embrace.
It’s never the baby’s fault, of course. If a pregnancy results from an extramarital affair, or a one-night-stand or a sexual assault, it may not be fair to mom nor baby. Yet the needs of both should be considered.
One mom came to Abrazo after a surrogacy agreement fell through. She’d never intended to parent another child, and when the couple she was carrying the baby for backed out, she needed to find another placement for the child she was carrying. A very young teen became pregnant as a result of an assault by an older friend of her father, and neither keeping the baby in her family or his were feasible options. Still another mother conceived after meeting her Mr. Right online– only to find out later he was anything but, having a wife and two other pregnant girlfriends. She, too, felt adoption would give both her and her baby the “do-over” they both deserved.
Whatever the circumstance, Abrazo listens without judgement, and responds with options and solutions. We offer prospective birthparents a wide range of alternatives and services, all free of charge. Our mission is not to sell anyone on adoption, but rather, to make the option available and to fully support those who do feel a need to pursue it.
Not Just for Babies
Adoption isn’t just for babies, either. For decades, it’s been an alternative way by which kids of all ages can gain loving homes.
A few months ago, Abrazo assisted a mother who had been struggling to parent two children for several years. Things weren’t getting any better for her or her kids, sadly, as they bounced from shelter to shelter.
The children were much loved, but they clearly needed more stability. Their mother and grandmother had a long heart-to-heart and agreed that it would be better for the kids to be with another family. However, the children’s dad was prohibited by law from caring for them, due to abuse.
She finally contacted Abrazo for help. We urged her to take time to be sure that adoption, a permanent solution, was truly the best choice. After weeks of options counseling and careful consideration, she made the decision to move forward with an adoptive placement. By doing so, she successfully warded off CPS involvement, as well.
With Abrazo’s help, this mother found her children a loving home with a mature, childless couple who were highly-experienced in nurturing kids. Today, those children have a whole new life, and they continue to enjoy loving contacts with their birthmom and birthgrandma, all thanks to open adoption.
There are activists and anti-adoption proponents who would like to see adoption abolished forever. We agree: if there were no need for adoption, that could certainly be a good thing?
Yet as long as there are parents who cannot (or will not) provide for all their children’s needs, and as long as there are children in need of loving permanent homes, then every conversation about child welfare choices must include consideration of this option: what about adoption?