“I need to give up my baby,” she said.
She hadn’t gotten much (any?) prenatal care. (That would’ve made the unwanted pregnancy seem far too real, she said.)
She hadn’t told anyone she was pregnant, except her parents. They told her they didn’t need her bringing home any more problems.
She already had a couple of children, and no job, so raising another one was not an option for her.
But her baby’s dad had gotten locked up since their one night stand. (So he wasn’t much of an option, either.)
You Have Options
Abrazo’s director tried to to assure her she still had other alternatives besides adoption. The mother stopped her cold. “I was going to just leave the baby at the hospital, but I want him to have a good home. Can you help me find him that?” Elizabeth assured her that we could.
“Oh, and I think my water’s already broke. Can you get me to a hospital?” the mother asked. With one quick text and a couple of phone calls, Abrazo’s maternity coordinator Rachel had this expectant mom transported to the nearest hospital.
The baby was born within the hour. Several days later, after many in-person counseling conversations, that mother made an adoption plan for her little boy.
Today, he is the beloved son of both sets of parents, and the adored brother of siblings in both homes.
Best of all, his first mom has a peace of mind she could never have had if she’d just done a Baby Moses drop (or “safe haven” abandonment) at the hospital.
We Have Answers
At Abrazo, our job is to help parents find their own best answers for their child’s future. Mothers call us (1-800-454-5683) all hours of the day and night. For 25 years, we’ve always had counselors on call, ready to help.
Some mothers are pregnant. Others are thinking about placing children already born. Sometimes, they call from a hospital, or from a truck stop, or a motel, or from school. They’re usually nervous, and often embarrassed.
Most haven’t gotten prenatal care before contacting Abrazo. We can help them find a doctor, or apply for Medicaid, or get to a hospital on a moment’s notice.
Oftentimes, they have no place to live. When that’s the problem, Abrazo can help find them housing. (One mom who called Abrazo last month has been actually living in her storage unit. In the Texas heat, that’s downright dangerous.) As a licensed agency, Abrazo can also help provide free groceries, clothing, utilities and maternity-related transportation, before and after placement, thanks to our adoptive families.
Some struggle with addiction, while others are victims of domestic violence. Two of our prospective birthmoms this year have been single mothers with master’s degrees. Abrazo offers free individual counseling services, as well as a birthparent support group that meets weekly.
Abrazo can even provide bonded childcare workers to stay with a mother’s other children when she goes to the hospital to have her baby.
(And for those for whom adoption is not in their child’s best interests, Abrazo can provide referrals to other community resources and non-adoption options.)
You Don’t Just Give Up a Baby Here
At Abrazo, the birthparents we serve don’t just give up a baby for adoption and walk away. They lovingly place their child/ren with the adoptive family of their choice. (All of our waiting parents are stable, loving and medically-infertile couples already background-checked and approved by Abrazo.)
They’ve had the option of getting to know their child’s future parents personally before placement. They’ve voluntarily exchanged identifying information, like any relatives would. And they’ll continue direct contact, too. Open adoption means exchanging updates, photos, calls and visits in the future, just like the forever family that they are.
The Abrazo staff continues to provide support, advice and guidance, upon request. Abrazo sponsors events like Camp Abrazo, held annually, and Birthmother Homecoming, held every other year. Additionally, Abrazo has online support groups, regional gatherings and phone counseling services available.
So if you’re thinking “I need to give up my baby for adoption,” then please, contact Abrazo and plan a loving open adoption instead. Because if you do need to place, you’ll be glad you did it through Abrazo.