Homework For Placing Parents

Here are a few books we think are especially helpful for parents considering placing a child for adoption:

• Lifegivers: Framing the Birthparent Experience in Open Adoption by James Gritter
• The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia
• The Third Choice: Second Edition by Gail Foge and Gail Mosconi.

Abrazo offers both in-office counseling and access to a licensed, private therapist who can provide support before and after placement. Adoption is a big decision, and having a therapist or life coach can help you explore your options, evaluate your support system, and develop coping skills.

Your OB-GYN will likely provide guidance on what to expect during labor and delivery. However, if you need more information, your Maternity Services Coordinator at Abrazo will gladly help get you whatever information you request. And check out what else we’ve found to help prepare you: A free online childbirth course. (How awesome is that?)

Placing a child for adoption means losing the right to parent that child yourself. It is normal to experience grief before and after placing. Dr. Kubler-Ross identifies the stages of grief as being “denial, bargaining, anger, sadness and acceptance” and she believed that most human beings tend to bounce back and forth between those stages as they adjust to a loss.

Factor in the hormonal fluctuations that every mother experiences, and you can understand how some women who place might really feel overwhelmed by all the emotions, while others might find them more manageable. That’s where counseling can really be helpful, in enabling you to ride the waves of emotion that may come after you place a child for adoption.

Adoption is a lifelong decision, and in Texas, once relinquishment documents (the legal papers that allow a child to be adopted) are signed at least 48 hours after birth, the decision is final. Want to view a copy of Abrazo’s legal document in advance? We have a Sample Relinquishment here. Abrazo can also arrange a meeting with an attorney before placement to answer any legal questions you may have.

In addition to birth parent counseling and support group meetings, Abrazo offers a private Facebook group for mothers who have placed through our program. You can also connect with other Abrazo moms and find additional support 24/7 on Abrazo’s Forum.

Only you can determine whether making a permanent adoption plan is right for you and your child. Take some time to read Heather Lowe’s Adoption Advice. Heather Lowe is a birth mom, who placed her child for adoption. She wants to prepare women for all the positives and negatives that come along with putting a child up for adoption.

Understanding all the aspects of the adoption decision helps you make the best choice for you and your child. At Abrazo, we fully support your right to make your own choice – both for your sake, and for that of your child. Call us and let’s talk. We’re here for you.