Steven&Melissa

Susan - I would LOVE to hear more about this at some point. We know Oliver has three half birth siblings out there somewhere and I dream of them maybe meeting some day. I can't imagine how old he may be when it finally happens, but I'm so intrigued by these relationships that are discovered/developed later in a child's life. Is this a sibling you knew about, but the birth sister just didn't know about Joshua? I'm prying, I know, so please just tell me if this is something you'd rather not share!! I would just love for Oliver to have the opportunity for this relationship some day if possible.

We can't wait to meet your new addition, Hannah. We have been praying for M and her family, knowing what a difficult time this is... but I know this is difficult for you, too. When you come to love someone so much over such a short period of time, it's hard to let your grief subside for a moment to soak in the joy. Balance those two things as much as you can and rejoice for this new baby boy who will grow up to call you mama. It's so amazing that you've now entered into the open adoption relationship you'd always dreamed of... it is work, but the payoff is amazing. You and Rudy are going to be wonderful parents to this little guy, but equally amazing friends (and family!) to M and her family. They made such a wise choice when they found you and I know their trust is not on vain. So very, very happy for you all today. I know the overwhelming grief that M feels will be eased a little because of the confidence she has in the parents she chose. Your family just grew so much more than you could have ever expected!!!

Melanie, Your family has such a touching story. It really is amazing to see how relationships in open adoption can grow and flourish into some of the most meaningful connections. You're right in saying that Charlie has - through love - brought two families together who will forever be in each other's lives. So amazing that this little tiny creature can do such a huge thing. Your story is so important to share - especially from your perspective. Grandmothers play a very special role and how amazing that Charlie will be surrounded by so many amazing women who could fill a million brag books. He's sooooo precious! Really looking forward to your future posts.

The whole thing gives me chills. I think of our history with home studies - so worried that a disorganized guest room or anything other than brand-new batteries in the smoke detectors would hold things up for us. Then I think of expectant parents and birth parents... how TERRIFYING to think that something you put faith in (the AP's being "safe" because they've been checked out) has loopholes and/or allowances like these. It breaks my heart to think of the blind faith expectant/birth parents have to live with anyway... let alone knowing someone like this could be approved to adopt a child. Scary, indeed.

Amen, sister. Good luck passing that home study!!

Lit a candle today for the birth mother Andrea and Blake have not yet met, but who gave birth to their beautiful new daughter. Saying a prayer that Letty feels peace in her heart and finds the strength to reconnect with Esperanza and her new family.

Andrea, I can't wait to go back to your blog now and read what you were doing/feeling/thinking back in April! Little did you know that Esperanza was already waiting and that it was her you were already growing love for in your heart. We always think back and say "If we'd only known earlier we could have really enjoyed the ride!!!!" but every ounce of sadness and anticipation you felt only made yesterday sweeter when you held your daughter for the first time. Welcome to the world a little late, Baby Esperanza... but welcome to the rest of your life as a Wing today! Congratulations to you all!

Well, this sums it up.... this is one of the best quotes yet that I've found on the forum. There should be a thread started for best one-liners!

We hear "he looks just like you!" ALL THE TIME. I usually just smile and don't offer any information, but recently his caretaker at daycare mentioned what a "distinct combination" he was of me and Steven. Uhmmm.... huh... well. I told her he was adopted and her mouth hung open. See, because I knew we'd adopt, I never expected to have a child who looked anything like me. Now I can't help but wonder what our next child might feel like if he/she is of another ethnicity? I could never in a million years bring myself to enter into our next adoption saying "we'll only take another predominantly Anglo child," but it does make me wonder: what would a second child feel like if he/she had a sibling who strongly resembled the AP's, but he/she didn't? Just another thought to add into the pile of myriad "concerns," though in the end, surround a child with openness and love and everything else will work itself out I suppose! Picking and choosing is an interesting thought, though. There are so many things that couples who have biological children have as "knowns." If you're Hispanic and you marry a Hispanic man, you know your child will be born Hispanic. Then there are things like gender, health, etc. that no one can pick. Well... unless you're an AP who will only accept one gender or another. I have my own personal thoughts about that, but I think some AP's think "I've been through enough and if I only want a boy then I'll say I'll only accept a boy and we'll wait until we are placed with a boy." Maybe they think they deserve it as the one consolation they have in a world of infertility where so many things are beyond their control? And if that's true of gender selection, is it then true of the "knowns" biological parents would have, such as race/heritage? Who knows... I think Suzi has a point, though. I once looked through the Gallery and was amazed at how often birth and adoptive families resemble each other. As Suzi said, there must be some sense of familiarity there among new (AP) family who looks like old (bio) family.

I don't have the heart to even read all of these... I hear ignorant things from adoptive parents all the time and it makes my blood boil. "Adoptive parents who never should have adopted in the first place and should most certainly never adopt again" has been a theme in my reading this week, so it's funny Elizabeth posted this link. This theme started earlier this week when I was reading a post made by a Parents Magazine blogger called Adopting a Dog Vs. Adopting a Child - uhmmm... really? Not only did I post my candid opinion but I "unliked" Parents Magazine on Facebook and then slathered my opinion all over the internet about it. If you can't decide between a dog or a child - or you even place them in the same arena of thought - or you call children "unwanted" - etc etc etc - I want to personally make sure you can't ever adopt another child again. How toxic to that child's upbringing that they have a parent who would not only talk like this, but share their opinions for the whole world to see! It's so sad to me to think that there are people out there who are so desperate to have a baby that they look at adoption as a last-ditch means of building their family. What they should be adopting is a much healthier attitude and outlook toward adoption, birth parents and children-once-adopted as a whole. I almost feel embarrassed for AP's in general when I read stuff like this... they're giving us a bad name!

Congratulations an welcome to the world, baby Brayden!

Aw, Hannah - I love your post. It's so true. I was just telling a friend today that yes, it's hard work, but it's the little moments like rocking Ollie to sleep in the nursery that was empty for so long, that feel overwhelming sometimes. I love those moments where you feel like your heart is going to overflow you feel so much gratitude. You have such a precious boy and he loves his mommy so much! It is indeed a privilege!

Jenni, it's nice to hear that you're processing things in this way. Once you have your baby in your arms, you'll look back at your orientation group members (and those who placed right before/after you) and think "yep, couldn't have been any other way" - because of your child, but also his/her first family. It's tough when you go into the process thinking 6-12 months and others are matching/placing around you, but keep the faith... it'll happen and it won't be 5 years down the road I'm sure!!!

It truly warms my heart to hear this!! My heart aches for this sweet boy's birth family, but I know the commitment Tara and Eric have to a loving and respectful open relationship... may the birth family have peace in their hearts knowing their child will always be in their lives and surrounded by love!!!

Wow, good information. I get questions from people all the time about adoption now. It may be a co-worker or a random phone call from someone who's gotten my number from a friend of a friend... or yesterday someone at our CPA's office. Most times, the couples are in their late 30's/early-mid 40's and are asking about if their age will affect an expectant parent's decision! I do tell people that Abrazo has a full spectrum of couples whose ages range tremendously, but an expectant parent being comfortable with "somewhere between their age and their parents' age" makes a TON of sense. It even applies to our case... Mama B was 17, we were 28 and her parents were in their 40's.