How Do Abrazo’s Adoptions Work?
Remember the old saying “Mother knows best”? Over the years, we’ve found that Abrazo’s adoptions work best when we leave the most important decisions to those most affected by them. All adoption choices start with a loving mom who is selfless enough to consider adoption. Abrazo offers personalized private adoption planning, to fit each placing mom’s individual needs and desires. You have the right to decide which match is right for you, to get to know personally the people with whom you choose to match, and to maintain direct contact afterwards, if you wish. Call Abrazo (1-210-342-5683 or in-state, 1-800-454-5683) and let’s talk about what feels right for you.
Abrazo believes in fully open adoption, because it is based on honesty and trust and we know these things are good for children! Open adoption is not about “co-parenting”–it’s about cooperation and commitments that honor the welfare of all parties involved. It may seem scary if you don’t know what it’s about, but in its simplest form, openness is about keeping kids connected, and that’s a good thing. (Remember, though: adoption is a permanent solution, and should never be used to resolve a temporary problem.)
What is Open Adoption?
Open adoption is just about the Golden Rule, basically: treat others as you would want to be treated, if you were in their shoes. In Abrazo’s adoptions, our placing parents and adopting families get to know each other personally before placement, exchange identifying information, and then keep in touch directly afterwards in the years following the adoption, like the relatives that they are. Contact includes letters and pictures, phone calls, texts, Skyping and visits. (Many Abrazo birthfamilies and adoptive families also reunite at Camp Abrazo each summer.) Open adoption not only helps all the parents feel at peace with each other– most importantly, it enables the adoptee to grow up knowing his or her roots and to successfully integrate all those components in the formation of his/her identity. (Or in simpler terms: to grow up whole.)
Don’t believe those other places that claim open adoption means placing a child with someone who won’t share their last name, or that healthy birthfamilies should “move on” and lose interest in their child’s welfare eventually, or that post-adoption communication should always go through a third party intermediary like an agency or attorney. Open adoption means each Abrazokid can grow up knowing who his/her birthparents are from the start, because he or she has loving parents who know that telling the truth from the start is the very best way to prevent confusion, fear and shame.
What Are the Laws Concerning Openness?
In Texas, like most states, open adoption agreements are still considered a matter of trust. Texas has no laws (yet) that allow agencies or courts to enforce any agreements between birthparents and adoptive parents to keep in touch after finalization, so it’s important to know that both the birthparents and the adopting parents can trust each other to keep their promises, for the child’s sake. Nobody can force any of the parties in any adoption to have contact or continue communication if they don’t want to, after the adoption is completed, but at Abrazo, we have our clients decide together how much contact is right, and put those plans in writing, so everybody knows what to expect. Abrazo provides its clients with a written agreement that documents their plans for post-adoption contact, and all parties are given a copy to keep. You can count on Abrazo to make every effort to ensure that they’re honored, too, to the best of our ability. Because we believe in open adoptions that are based on honesty and trust. And we trust that those who want what is best for their children will keep their promises–for the child’s sake.
If you’re interested in the research that’s been done on open adoption and its effects, check out this resource: Openness in Adoption: From Secrets and Stigma to Knowledge and Connections
And if openness doesn’t seem to fit your needs, then let’s discuss why you feel that way, so Abrazo can help structure a plan that is sensitive to your privacy concerns but still prioritizes your child’s need for information and future access.
After all, with more than 25 years of expertise in ethical adoption planning, you can trust Abrazo to work with you to put together the kind of adoption plan that puts every child’s best interests first.