Those who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant in Texas are not alone these days, it seems. As planned by Texas lawmakers who supported Governor Abbott’s abortion ban, thousands of female children, teens and adults have become involuntarily pregnant in Texas and forced by law to carry to term.
Researchers estimate that 26,000 girls and women in Texas have become pregnant since the state’s abortion ban was passed. That’s heartbreaking in itself, but wait! There’s more.
Teen pregnancies in Texas are on the rise, too— for the first time in 15 years. And regardless of age or the circumstances of conception, the majority of those who find themselves pregnant in Texas are Hispanic girls and women, for whom prenatal care is often inadequate, denied or unavailable.
Unexpectedly Pregnant in Texas? Good luck.
Clearly, we’re not living in a pretty pink Barbie world, where a crisis morphs Ken into the perfect man overnight.
Ever since the Texas abortion ban went into effect, Abrazo has gotten lots of calls from desperate moms-to-be. They’re not seeking adoption help, however. They’re asking about abortion services out of state, the abortion pill or free housing in Texas for them and the kids they already struggle to support.
Abrazo can’t help with abortion referrals. The mothers-to-be whom we serve are too far along for abortion pills. And free housing in Texas is very hard to find,. Still, we do care about them and their kids, born or unborn.
Texas, we have a problem.
It’s one thing to offer free diapers and formula, donated by well-meaning church groups, as many well-funded pro-life pregnancy centers are doing to offset the devastating effects of Texas’ abortion ban. Pregnant females in Texas need free prenatal care, too, especially if those who don’t qualify for Medicaid or who live in areas where obstetricians are scarce and doctors prefer patients with better insurance. Some need free drug treatment programs, before they can parent effectively; there are some, but not nearly enough for the coming onslaught.
So where will all these mothers and their unexpected offspring live, until these babies turn 18? Where will they find free daycare, so these moms can finish school or work for a living? Who will drive these kids to the doctor, since most will be growing up in single parent households that lack private insurance coverage, as well as vehicles? What about employment for minimally educated mothers without childcare or transportation?
How will these mothers and their babies be protected from abusive babydaddies, or shielded from costly custody battles from those who seek to take their child/ren away from them, due to their inadequate living situations? Who’s going to provide them with free lifetime insurance coverage, after they get forced into a lifetime of parenthood as the result of one night of passion– or sexual assault?
Don’t Buy that Stanley cup, Pregnant Mama…
Because you’re gonna need to spend your money on baby bottles, instead. (And lots more, to meet your child’s needs in the months and years to come.) Oh, sure, you can ask your friends for help. But a GoFundMe pitch only goes so far, Be sure to file for child support, even (especially!) if your baby’s father begs you not to.
Local crisis pregnancy centers get reimbursed by the State to offer you free baby care provisions (like the diapers and formula mentioned above.) But their help cuts off when your child becomes a toddler… then you’re on your own, just at the point that most kids become a real challenge for single moms. (And no, you can’t leave your toddler in one of those blasted baby boxes. They only want newborns.)
So avoid the latest craze (like that Barbie-colored Stanley tumbler) and stop getting your nails and eyelashes done. (No more online shopping, either.) Learn to budget wisely. Ask all those folks offering to help with your new baby to CashApp or Venmo you donations of the same value as their promised assistance, because talk is cheap, and parenting is costly.
How adoption works for those pregnant in Texas
Texas is considered to be “adoption-friendly” because licensed agencies can provide placing moms with living support (like rent, groceries, clothing, etc.) during pregnancy and for a limited time thereafter. (Curiously, there’s no parental consent required for teen moms choosing adoption in Texas– only for abortion.) For parents with too many children already or mothers-to-be who are unprepared for parenthood, or females trying to escape a difficult situation and become unexpectedly pregnant, adoption may be a good option, even if they (or you?) never imagined themselves needing to place.
A father’s consent is not always necessary, either, for mothers who aren’t married and alleged dads who are not good guys. One birthmother who joined Abrazo’s program had to testify in court against an abusive ex-boyfriend– while pregnant with his child. He had brutally assaulted her, and the pregnancy was the result of that attack, He was found guilty yet sentenced to prison for slightly less than 10 years. She chose adoption in hopes of sparing her baby from growing up at risk of harm from the father who had done so much to hurt her mother.
What makes Abrazo different?
For anyone wondering how adoption works at Abrazo, we’re guided by the best interests of every child. We do full-disclosure open adoption best, because it’s adoptee-centered. This just means .we want every parent to be upfront and honest — with the agency, with the other parents involved, and with the adopted child. As a result, everything we do is ultimately dedicated to the adoptee. (And based on the shared experiences of adult adoptees who have bravely shared their real-talk stories about being adopted.)
Adoption is never an easy choice, nor should it be. It isn’t the right decision in every circumstance. But for girls and women who find themselves pregnant in Texas and feel they can’t parent, don’t want to parent, or shouldn’t have to start all over again, adoption options at Abrazo offer a safe, confidential and free alternative.
Final words
Any Texas mom or mother-to-be can reach Abrazo for help any time, day or night, by calling 1-800-454-5683. (Or text HELPME to 210-860-5683.) Our counselors help callers explore all the options available to them. And if you are pregnant in Texas, and adoption is your best choice, we’ll help you make a plan that will change your life and your baby’s– in all the nicest ways.
