In a perfect world, there would be no unwanted baby.
Of course, in a perfect world, there would never be any unplanned pregnancies, and no birth defects, either… but this is not a perfect world.
When There Are No Easy Options
Texans, along with the rest of the nation, were reminded of this in 2023, when a loving mother with a typically fatal pregnancy diagnosis sought legal consent to end her pregnancy. Kate Cox knew that only half of the babies with full Trisomy 18 are born alive, and 90-95% of those born alive don’t survive beyond the first year. (Most die within 10-15 days of birth. Carrying the pregnancy to term also could endanger a mother’s health and future fertility.)
Whatever one’s political reproductive views are, there’s no denying this poses a heartbreaking dilemma for any expectant mother and her relatives… especially in Texas, these days. Some compassion is surely needed here.
The Coxes are the proud parents of two, who much desired another child, so this was no unwanted baby. Yet the dangers of this pregnancy and the painful medical future facing their unborn child were anything but wanted. Mrs. Cox and her husband made a wrenching decision to end the pregnancy, but she was forced to travel out-of-state to get needed medical care, after the Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton filed suit to limit her alternatives.
It may be easy for some to criticize this couple. (Society is also quick to diss birthparents who carry to term and then give up babies for adoption, too.) For some reason, those who haven’t faced agonizing reproductive dilemmas too often lack the decency to show empathy for those who have. (And that’s a crying shame.)
What Happens To the Others?
Not every mother facing devastating prenatal predictions makes the same choice, of course.
We know another mother here in Texas who found herself facing a different Trisomy diagnosis during her pregnancy in the same year. Her doctors broke the painful truth to her early on: the baby’s condition was likely going to be “incompatible with life,” they said. And they weren’t wrong: most infants with the same diagnosis are not expected to live for very long.
This mother did not opt to end her pregnancy, and held out hope that somehow, the doctors might be wrong? They weren’t, though. Her baby was born with a long list of complications that render life expectancy uncertain. This mother, however, is not in a position to parent a special needs child, given her circumstances, and neither is the baby’s father. This pro-life mother wishes to have her baby adopted, so Abrazo is searching the nation for a special needs adoptive family willing to commit to an open adoption and able to absorb the financial and emotional risks of parenting a minority infant with an unknown prognosis and a long hospitalization ahead.
There may be fifty hopeful adoptive couples awaiting every one infant placed for adoption in America these days, but factor in life-threatening medical issues, and the numbers of prospective adoptive families quickly change. Abrazo continues to assure this mother that we won’t quit looking to find a family for her child, as we believe there’s no unwanted baby. We’ve located a couple of possibilities that haven’t worked out, as of yet, so our search continues. Yet there’s no denying that the most needed homes can often be the very hardest ones to find.
Is There Someplace for Every Child?
Not every parent, no matter how long, is equipped to care for and raise their child, no matter how loving they are. Parents unable to care for the babies they birth, due to personal hardship or medical challenges, have the option of surrendering their infants to a licensed adoption agency like Abrazo, or abandoning them to the State via a safe haven baby drop, or institutionalizing them (provided a suitable placement can be found.)
Over the years, Abrazo has been known for being “the little agency that can” and will find a loving family for any child in need, regardless of their age, race, or medical condition. Down Syndrome, HIV, spina bifida, cerebral palsy, NAS, hydrocephalus, heart defects, cleft palate, clubfoot, cerebral palsy and a long list of other challenges are represented in Abrazo’s successful adoption records over the past 30 years. That’s a history of which we are very proud, and a quest that’s ongoing, because we believe every child born deserves a safe and nurturing home.
We welcome any couples qualified to adopt to contact our agency about providing a loving home for our Trisomy baby in need, or for other adoptable special needs children in Texas, whose mothers also faithfully carried their problem pregnancies to term.
Help Abrazo prove that truly, there is no unwanted baby– at any age.
