If you need to know how to do a last-minute adoption, you’ve come to the right place.
Since 1994, Abrazo has been serving the needs of parents who’ve struggled to choose wisely for their children in times of trouble.
Because the reality is that nobody makes adoption plans because things are going so great for them.
Not long ago, Abrazo got a call from a pregnant mother. She already had several other kids and was thinking about the adoption option. She said she knew what it took to be a good mom. And she knew she just didn’t have the energy, time or resources to start all over again.
We talked with her about all her alternatives, offered what support we could, and then we urged her to give herself every chance to parent the new baby and keep our number as a last resort.
The next time our staff heard from her, she asked how soon we could meet with her? Her feelings hadn’t changed, she said, but her back pain was worse. We got to her just after her water broke, and it was our staff that took her to the hospital to have her baby. It was after the birth that she decided on an adoptive family. And it was by her choice that they all left the hospital together.
She says now that she is grateful Abrazo was there to help her know how to do a last-minute adoption. But if she had to advise others, she says she’d tell them “don’t wait too long… let Abrazo help you sooner.”
Safe Haven, Foster Care or Last Minute Adoption in the Hospital?
Some moms go through an unwanted pregnancy in a stage of denial. They’re hoping their little problem will “just go away” if they don’t think about it? (This doesn’t work, of course.) Some girls plan to abort, then find out at the clinic that they’re too far along. Other women wait in hopes that the baby’s dad will come around and want to be a part of the baby’s life. They wait for him to change his mind about the breakup, or leave the sancha, then only call for help when he doesn’t?
Whatever the reason for needing a last minute adoption, mothers do still have options, like safe haven baby abandonments, short term foster care, kinship placements or hospital adoption placements. But dumping a baby at a fire station leaves adopted kids knowing they were abandoned. Foster care and safety plans too often leave parents and children in limbo for too long. And kinship placements can often confuse relative relationships. Only a carefully-planned adoption, whether done in a hospital or from home after birth, can offer babies and their birthparents a safe permanent solution.
Knowing how to do a last-minute adoption safely means calling a licensed, private, nonprofit adoption agency like Abrazo any hour of the day or night. Those that do speak with a compassionate counselor who gently explains the process and helps the caller through whatever steps they feel are right. Abrazo’s services are all confidential and free for placing parents. We have waiting adoptive couples with infertility who have been carefully-screened and who are ready to take a baby or child home at a moment’s notice.
How to do a last-minute adoption safely
Whether you are considering placing a baby or child at the last minute or you are wanting to adopt, please know it is vitally important to do things the right way, in accordance with the law.
Placing parents have a legal right to consult an attorney prior to placement if they wish, and can ask their agency to arrange a free consult if needed. The best adoption agencies, like Abrazo, always offer counseling free of charge before and after placement, and this is essential in any placement decision.
Adopting parents must complete FBI fingerprinting and all required in-person homestudy visits before they can match or take placement (these are all tasks Abrazo can help you complete.)
In Texas, it is illegal to buy or sell a child, so money should never be a factor in any placement decision. Adoptive placements are legally-binding decisions when an adoption agency is involved, so it is important to be prepared and know that all commitments made by a placing parent or adopting parent are expected to be final. Nobody should ever make lifetime adoption decisions under the influence of drugs or alcohol or mind-altering medication. And remember: newborns need all the time they can get with their bio-mom after birth, even more than with the adopting parents.
As exciting as last minute adoptions can seem, these are high-risk arrangements, so ethical adoptiob agencies will guide everyone involved to keep the child at the center of every decision. Don’t cut corners, and never let anybody pressure you into a lifetime commitment you may not truly feel up to making.
Take your time and do it right.
If you’d been thinking you were going to parent and decide at the end you’re not, your friends or relatives may be disappointed or angry, but it’s not their choice to make– it’s yours. You can always send any baby shower gifts you received home with the adoptive family, or return them. But you don’t owe anyone an explanation unless you choose to give it (with the exception of the baby’s legal father, of course, and your adoption agency can explain what rights he does or doesn’t have in your state.)
Adoption can mean a new beginning for everyone involved. Done right, adoption can build new families and afford children new opportunities in life. But it’s never a simple choice and it should never be taken lightly. Doing an adoption at the last minute is like stepping out on a tightrope… you always need a wide net of support around you, and Abrazo can provide that, whether you ultimately choose adoption or not. For if you decide adoption is not the best choice, after all, that’s okay, too.
Sometimes, the best way to know how to make a last-minute adoption right is to wait one extra day; to sleep on it; and to give yourself the time to absolutely be sure it’s best for the child involved? (Because that’s truly whom every good adoption all supposed to be for and about, after all.)
