Elaine

Windycity, We know you are thrilled!!! Congratulations on your answered prayer!!!! Elaine

Breadandwater, Just want you to know that you are in my thoughts. What an inspiration you are to others! I can not say that I know how you feel or where you have been. I do know the disappointment and frailty (at times) of different relationships though. Hang in there. You are a beautiful person on the inside and out!!! I feel priveleged to have met you at Orientation and at the B-Mom meeting. Thanks for all of your advice, encouragement, and insight. I enjoy your posts very much!!! Elaine p.s. I hope some of you other B-mom's out there that are not in the habit of posting will join breadandwater. We would love to hear from you and be there for you too.

Oh, my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who is it??? Is it Misty and Ron, Amy and Jeff, or Mary and Len???????????????????? Whoever it is...Mickey and I are SO HAPPY and EXCITED for you!!!!! What a blessing this little girl is going to be for your family. Best wishes and please post soon. We want to hear all about it!!!!!!!!!!!! With Love, Elaine, Mickey, and Makayla

PKK, You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Change is scary but sometimes necessary. Pray and then go with your heart. It will not lead you astray. May you have the courage and strength to accept God's will, and may your faith never waiver. Best wishes! Elaine

Marjory, I would love to meet all of you! We are in the process of finding a new house and relocating closer to family. We will still be in TN. though. Just let me know when and where! I'll do my best to make it. Talk to ya soon! Elaine p.s. Melissa Merritt is another feloow Tennesseean that adopted an Abrazo Babe 2.5 years ago. She might want to visit too!

Congratulations, Marjory and Bob! Your fellow Tennesseans are rejoicing with you! Have fun with your sweet baby girl. She will grow so quickly! Savor each special moment. Best wishes! Elaine

Claudia, Mickey and I are on a trip to see family right now. I have been itching for a day or so to have access to a computer to see how things are going. We are at my parents house right now. Instead of visiting them...I am checking the forum! I am sure they are thrilled with that! So glad to see you posted! We are so glad that things are running smoothly. I know you are so thrilled! Congratulations, again! I can't wait to see the little fellow!!! Love, Elaine

Claudia, Marcelo, and Dante, We are so HAPPY for all of you! I know that this is a prayer and dream come true!!! May God bless your beautiful family. With Love, Elaine, Mickey, and Makayla p.s. Post pics soon!!! I log onto the forum every hour (it seems) to see if little Dante will be looking back at me!

I think our homestudy cost $1,400. This includes the two post placement visits. Around Nashville this price seemed pretty competitive. I would be leary of a place that quoted $300. The homestudy is a mandatory part of the adoption process. Although, it can be very costly and a little unnerving at times...the end result is more than worth it. There are "hoops" to jump through in adoption, but if you truly desire to be a parent, then you just do what is neccessary to become one. Mickey and I have had a really good experience with our local social worker and Abrazo. I agree that adoption is very expensive. However, the child that I now call mine is priceless...there is no mountain to high, ocean to deep, or cost to big. Like anything in life worth pursuing... it takes hard work, time, and patience, but the end result will outshine any expectation you could have possibly imagined at the onset of your journey. Best wishes! Elaine

Well, Mickey and I had planned for years on adopting from either China or Korea. Then our cousin's Chris and Melissa Merritt adopted from Abrazo in November 2002. Melissa encouraged me to go to Abrazo's website and familiarize myself with them. I did but it just didn't click with me. I think that I had in my mind that we were supposed to adopt from China, so it was hard for anything else to appeal. Fast forward to December 26, 2004...dinner at my in-laws home. Chris and Melissa joined us there for supper. Melissa and I started talking about adoption. She asked if we were still planning on adopting. I told her we were. The plan was to start paperwork this summer for China. Melissa asked if I had ever checked out the Abrazo website. I told her that I had right after they adopted Grace Ann. She asked me what I thought of it. I told her it just didn't click. She asked me to look one last time. Again, she gave me the website, and I told her I would look one last time. That night we traveled to my parents house to spend the night. I got on my Mom's computer and looked up Abrazo. Well, I am embarrassed to say that I ended up staying on the computer the rest of the night! My parents were a little disgusted that I came home for the holidays and then spent most of my visit with them on the computer. This time it did "click". Something about it just drew me in. I was almost mad because I thought we had our plans laid for years...and this just disrupted everything we had planned on. I also dreaded telling Mickey about my change of heart! I was afraid he would be unhappy with me. For years we have bought little kimonos, sesame street chop sticks, Asian dolls, etc. I knew he would just choke me about this new idea! I approached him about it a day or so later. He was not happy. It wasn't much of a surprise as I figured this would be his reaction. Through much prayer and meditation we decided to fill out our Abrazo paperwork. It really was just a gut feeling I had. I couldn't explain it. We had never planned on a domestic adoption...we had never planned on having a newborn, etc. I now know why Melissa was at that Christmas dinner, why she was so persistent that I look at the Abrazo website just one more time, why I followed through by going back to the website once at my parent's home, why my head was turned and my heart was touched, why Mickey came around after some deep discussion, why we filled out our paperwork ASAP and went to the March '05 orientation...God is in control, He has perfect timing, and He has never made a mistake. The "why" is named Makayla Joy. She was the pot of gold at the end of our rainbow! God does work in mysterious ways, and I couldn't be more happy about that!!! Elaine

Congratulations, Sherrie!!! I know you all are thrilled beyond words! I am so happy for you. Hugs and kisses to your precious son and new baby girl. Elaine

Brenda, I am sorry to hear that you too have struggled with unsupportive relatives. I think our situations are probably similar. I too am not very close with Mickey's parents. We go for long stretchs without talking. Mickey is sort of like your Mike...he knows that the relationship is strained, and he does not push me either. I wanted to comment on your inlaws lack of sympathy when you were mourning your "unmatching". I have thought about your post concerning that. You and Mike were attached to the baby because you believed that she was the child you had been dreaming of, praying for, etc. Maybe your inlaws were sort of like mine...not attached to the baby until she was home. It was like my inlaws were pretty much opposed or indifferent about our adoption until they held Makayla. I wonder if your inlaws are the same way. Maybe they couldn't be compassionate in your time of need, because they simply were not attached in the way you were. I am not excusing them or taking up for them at all! I have a sneaking suspicion that if we had unmatched in the way that you all did, then I do not believe my inlaws would have been very supportive/sympathetic either. Part of it would be that they were not emotinally invested in this adoption the way Mickey and I were. Another thing is that we have never been that close to one another. And lastly, they were not overly supportive when we started pursuing adoption...why would they be overly supportive/sympathetic if our adoption plan fell apart? Regardless of why they were unable to be there for you...it is still sad. Not only were you hurt by your unmatching, but you were also hurt by the lack of support you were shown. I am sorry for that. God has a plan for every family. I truly believe that! You will find the little girl that is going to make her way into your heart and arms. Remeber it is not if but when! Hugs from TN, Elaine

YIPEE!!!!!!!!!! Makayla is kicking her feet in delight! I am so happy that our family is growing by leaps and bounds! Hugs and Kisses, Elaine

Thank you for all of your comments. My inlaws are very aware of how hurtful their comments have been, but instead of talking about it...it has been completely "swept under the rug". I believe deep down they must feel bad about their comments. I also know that if they really love Makayla (the way I think they do), then they will beat themselves up about their rude comments plenty without my help. Instead of focusing on the past, I need to concentrate on the present. I feel like all to often I reflect heavily on the past or I dream big about the future. Reflecting on the past and/or dreaming about the future are not bad...unless you lose sight of the present. God has blest us with a beautiful little girl. Instead of spending one more second fuming about my inlaws I need to count my many blessings! Please pray for me concerning this situation. I really need to move on...and I need God's help to do it. Thank you again! It is so wonderful to have friends sprinkled all over the country that care!!! Elaine

I can totally relate to some of these problems. Mickey and I have talked about adopting for many years now. We have shared our plans with both sides of our families. Well, infertility runs on both sides of my family...so adoption is pretty common in my family. The only thing that my family was upset about was that we didn't "get our name in the pot" sooner! Mickey's parents were a different story. We tried to warm them up to the idea of adoption for at least two or three years (mentioning it on and off). We did that in order to prepare them for the avenue in which they would become grandparents. Well, for years we have endured rude coments ("You don't know what you are getting!...etc.). We explained that you don't know "what you are getting" with a biological child either. Patience is not my strong point. At times I have biten my tongue and others I have stood up for what I believe, but regardless of my response their opinion was always negative (concerning adoption) and rubbed me the wrong way...to put it mildly! Well, fast forward to this past January. When we decided to pursue adoption through Abrazo and began filling out our paperwork...we decided to share with our families the good news. Mickey and I were a nervous wreck, b/c we knew we would not be well received by his parents. Isn't that unfortunate? My parents were thrilled. They had been waiting for us to give them that good news for a long time. Mickey's parents were not at all happy. Not only did we not get a pat on the back or "congratulations" or a hug...we got a lecture on the dangers of adoption/adopted kids. It still sickens me to think about it. This was before we actually got the call about Makayla. Since having Makayla placed with us they have seemed to do a 180. I should be happy about this, but I am not. I really struggle with this nearly every day. My resentment has grown to the point of me having upset stomachs when I think about the whole situation. I don't think my in-laws realized that this child has been loved for years. She was and is very much wanted. I have prayed for her for literally years. Not just that I get a little girl, but that she is healthy, etc. If I had been sitting on their couch pregnant and announced that they were going to become grandparents would they have been angry? Would they have insulted the child I carried in my womb? I think not. Yet, they had no problem slapping me in the face since my family is being built through adoption. Little did/do they know that when they insulted my adoption plan they insulted my child (which is worse than insulting me)! It is a daily struggle to try to forgive this. It truly is. There is a lot more to the story than I have the time to type. We have never been close with one another anyways, and the relationship has often felt strained...but this took the cake. It literally was the last straw in my mind. I felt like I had waited so many years to become a mother, and they were trying to steal my joy! The problem is that I want Makayla to know her grandparents. And I want them to know her (she is their only g-child, as Mickey is an only child), but it is so hard for me to even look at them with her after the way they talked about her (or adopted kids in general). I know that I have got to work on forgiveness. That is the only way. What happened can not be taken back. They now seem to accept Makayla...it is me that is having problems moving past this situation. I just feel that things went from an adopted child is not wanted to the other extreme of gushing all over her. My Mom told me that I should be happy that they finally accept Makayla...and I am, but I am sad that on the day that we announced that we were "expecting" (through adoption) we were completely shot down and insulted. Not only were we insulted, but our future child was very much insulted. And also the many other terrible comments that were thoughtless concerning adoption that we have endured for years. The hurt, anger, and resentment has only grown. I am the type of person that can not stand for big things to be swept under the rug....and this situation has been. Mickey's Dad was the one that went on and on about the horrors of adopted kids, and he has never apologized for it or even mentioned it since. Just like it never happened...even after I sent them a nasty email blasting them out about the situation. I don't know if an apology would take care of all of this resentment, but it couldn't hurt anything. Anybody have any suggestions? This is a sticky situation that needs to be resolved. I would love to hear from any of you that have a word of advice or encouragement! Elaine p.s. I gave them the book "Adoption is a Family Affair"...never heard if either one of them read it or not.

Mickey and I did not do IVF. It was never even entertained in our minds. We just knew in our hearts for years that adoption was what we were called to do. I agree that everyone must follow his or her own heart. There is no doubt in my mind that adoption is the way in which God intends for us to build our family. That doesn't mean that adoption is for everyone...just like IVF is for some and not for others. But in our case adoption was the way to go. Thank you God for planting the seed in our heart. Hugs and kisses to the angels at Abrazo for giving me the most precious child one could hope for. With love from my overflowing heart, Elaine

One good book you can pick up (that is full of positive adoption language) is Adoption is a Family Affair. It is a book geared at helping Grandparents, siblings, etc. understand and accept adoption, but it also teaches you about pos. lang. There are many other good adoption books out there. Many of them hit the subject of pos. adoption lang. Go to amazon.com. They usually have a nice selection. Hope this helps. Elaine

Adina and Ben...I mean Mom and Dad! Congratulations! How are things going? Mickey and I are thrilled that you two have a beautiful baby boy! What did you decide to name him? Please keep us posted on everything! Hugs and kisses to your new little guy! XOXOXOXOXO Love, Elaine p.s. When you are up at 3 a.m. feeding your "Little Man"...think about us in TN. More than likely we are sitting in a rocking chair too!!!

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! I have been neglecting the forum for the past couple of days due to the county art fair...and three new bundles have been placed!!!! I need details!!! Who is it? Who from Cloud Nine now wears the proud name of Mommy and Daddy? Love, Auntie E

YIPEE! Congrats!!! How is the Big Sis doing??? Keep us posted! Love, Elaine and Mickey

YIPEE! I can't wait to see how well you all do tomorrow. Poeple have been so kind, haven't they? What a blessing. I am praying for beautiful weather for you all. Give Grace Ann a hug and kiss for me! Tell her that little Makayla sends "butterfly kisses" her way!!! Miss and love you! Love, Elaine p.s. I didn't know that you had called my cell phone until past 10 pm. Today has been crazy, crazy, crazy! Can't wait to talk to you. I'll try you tomorrow. Good luck!!!

Michelle, Nashville is great. Funny that you all now are stationed at Fort Bragg. My cousin is also stationed there. It's a small world! Keep us posted on how things are going with you. Best wishes!!! Elaine

Hi, Mike and Michelle! My husband and I filled out our initial paperwork (inquiry) in mid January 2005. We heard from Abrazo very quickly. We then sent in the application that they sent to us. Once that was finished we signed up for the March 4 and 5 2005 Parents of Tomorrow Orientation weekend. Well, I am proud to announce that we just returned home with our brand new daughter tonight!!!!!! We got a call on April 4 about a newborn baby girl. Abrazo asked us if we were interested and mailed us her paperwork. Mickey (hubby) and I drove from Nashville on April 9 and arrived in San Antonio on April 11 to meet our new daughter!!! Abrazo does work super quick! If someone had told me in Jan. when we initially inquired about Abrazo's program that we would have a daughter by April 11...I would have thought they were nuts! I know that some placements have been faster than ours and some have been slower. I think overall Abrazo works super fast compared to other agencies I have heard about. Good luck on your new journey! You all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Elaine

You guys are right! Mickey and I are the proud parents of Makayla Joy Overcast. We are so thrilled and shocked! I knew when they said ,"It's not if, it's when"...they were telling the truth. But we had no idea that it would happen so quickly! It was love at first sight!!! She is a sweet, Hispanic baby girl. We can't wait to post her pic. We are still in Texas through this week and possible next. I am borrowing someone else's computer for a moment, but after I log off here I will not have access to you all until we are back home. Thanks again for the well-wishes and prayers. We are loving being a Mom and Dad! We are definately on Cloud Nine!!!!!!!!! Love, Elaine, Mickey, and Makayla

That was beautiful! Made me tear up. Thanks for sharing it with me. Elaine