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LuvOurTexan

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  1. For those of you who are concerned about being considered "old", how about those who are sometimes considered too "young". I was 25 and my husband 28 when our daughter was placed with us. Our BP was 22. Before we were so blessed with meeting our daughter's BP, we talked with a different BP who was 19 or 20 and did not choose us because she "wanted an older couple". I must say that we were a bit hurt by that but we realized that as some have already said, it is the BPs preference. I think we were upset because even though we did get married early... we are mature for our age. Even the social worker who did our homestudy was taken back by how responsible/mature we were for our ages. My advice to you is not to worry. Just as there may be some BPs who want a young couple, there are those who want an older couple. Don't put a lot of weight on the age factor and just keep your thoughts on what God has planned for you.
  2. Robin, I just want to tell you that we had the same fears, worries and excitement that you have but when we left our orientation weekend...we were on such a high that we couldn't believe it. We also came away from that weekend with new friends who have become like family members to us. I cannot tell you what a connection you make with the other couples in your orientation group. For us it was like we finally found other people who KNEW exactly what we had been through and that created an instant bond that we still share. Don't be nervous....Get ready to be a parent! GOOD LUCK
  3. Good post, Elizabeth. It is so unfortunate that money does have to play a factor in adoption because it does turn so many hopeful couples away from the process. I am curious to know how others dealt with the financial part of it. We had to borrow money and don't know if we can afford to adopt again anytime soon. Would love to hear what others did.
  4. We did some real soul searching. When we discussed race, we asked ourselves..."would we be able to fully give a child a sense of being proud of their heritage?" As far as sex, we always thought that if we were able biologically to have a child, we would not have the benefit of choosing the sex so why should we with adopting. With the other factors, like drug use, etc., we just looked into our hearts and were honest about if we could give a drug addicted baby all of the love and care that it would need to thrive. Hope this helps.
  5. I found that some websites on adoption (adoption.com, i think) has on there waiting families and their Dear Birthparent letters. I read through some of those and that gave us some ideas as to what we wanted to say and what we thought we didn't like to put in the letter.
  6. Gabbi, I hope that I can give you some insight into your questions (probably not as well as those at Abrazo but here's a try). Adoption can be a very scary thing for not only birth parents but adoptive parents as well. I can tell you from the perspective of an Abrazo adoptive mom, that Abrazo makes sure that they have adoptive couples who are willing to go the distance with an open relationship with birth parents. Your fear of losing touch is not felt by you alone, we pray that we hear from our daughter's birth mom. She has lost touch with us but we still send her letters and pictures hoping that she will some day contact us in return. As an adoptive mom, I can say that we thank God everyday for our daughter's birth mom. Without her, we would never be parents and never experience watching her grow up. This is why you should not worry that your child would hate you if you chose adoption. We, as adoptive parents, pass on this love to our children. What greater act of love can you express to a child than to do what is best for them. We love our daughter with all of our heart and soul and tell her every day how special her birth mom is (her picture is framed in our daughter's room for her to see everyday, too!) Talk with Abrazo and if you have any questions, just e-mail me at VaGreek@juno.com. Good luck in whatever decision you make! God Bless You. Tina Darby
  7. Thank you very much for sharing that. I don't think I have ever heard a better way to describe what the whole situation of infertility and adoption is like.
  8. We love Abrazo. We went to our orientation in January of 1999. They tell you that their average wait is 6 mths to a year and we were in disbelief. But we couldn't have been proven wrong in a better way, our daughter was born in March of 1999 and we became PARENTS. Just 2 months after orientation! Abrazo is a very caring agency and even now, almost 2 years after placement they are still in touch. One of the staff members called us before Christmas to let us know that she had spoke with our daughter's birth mom. It amazes me how thoughtful they are and that to them, we are all part of their family. We felt like we could trust Abrazo and they haven't let us down. They are the best agency that we have found and we highly recommend them.
  9. I think you will know when the right time is for you. We felt like we were doing the same infertility treatments month after month and when we pushed it one step further to in vitro, we knew that there was going to have to be an end to it eventually. So we searched our hearts and realized that we just wanted to be parents and that adoption was a wonderful way for that to happen. We truely feel that we have been blessed with the child that God intended for us. If you would have told me that when we were going through infertility, I would have said that it was impossible. Have Faith and you will know when the time is right and when you have dealt with all the pain and loss of infertility.
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