Gabbi,
I hope that I can give you some insight into your questions (probably not as well as those at Abrazo but here's a try). Adoption can be a very scary thing for not only birth parents but adoptive parents as well. I can tell you from the perspective of an Abrazo adoptive mom, that Abrazo makes sure that they have adoptive couples who are willing to go the distance with an open relationship with birth parents. Your fear of losing touch is not felt by you alone, we pray that we hear from our daughter's birth mom. She has lost touch with us but we still send her letters and pictures hoping that she will some day contact us in return. As an adoptive mom, I can say that we thank God everyday for our daughter's birth mom. Without her, we would never be parents and never experience watching her grow up. This is why you should not worry that your child would hate you if you chose adoption. We, as adoptive parents, pass on this love to our children. What greater act of love can you express to a child than to do what is best for them. We love our daughter with all of our heart and soul and tell her every day how special her birth mom is (her picture is framed in our daughter's room for her to see everyday, too!)
Talk with Abrazo and if you have any questions, just e-mail me at VaGreek@juno.com.
Good luck in whatever decision you make! God Bless You.
Tina Darby