suebee

UNDER 2?!?!? YIKES!!! I wanted children at least 4 years apart. Oh well, God has his own plans and defnitely knows what's best for us. Someone once told me that having 2 children is not double the work, it's more like 4 times the work. Uhhhh and they weren't joking. I don't know why that is, but it's true. My mom always said the opposite (she had three within four years)...her opinion was one takes all your time, two takes all your time, and three takes all your time. Patti, I'm glad my post was helpful to you! You will enjoy watching the relationship between your son and his new brother or sister. (Has he stated a preference?) It is the sweetest thing. Marjory...your little girls are the cutest and so blessed to have each other. I'm sure they will be so close growing up and in their adult years. What a blessing for them and you!

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer...you do what works for you and your family. Also, it's important to remember that often there are "our plans" and then there's "God's plans." The two don't always match, but the latter is always the best. I always wanted more than one child...six at one time, then four...by the time we adopted Joshua I was just thrilled that I got to be a mommy! I wanted for nothing else...at least for a little while. About the time the tug came for the second child (Joshua was around 2), I started taking care of my 6 month old nephew while his mommy and daddy worked...phew, hard work...two under 2!! So that urge was squelched for at least a year. Not to mention, my husband was not on board! When Joshua was three, Larry rather hesitantly said okay. We went with a local agency (more of a crisis pregnancy center who is licensed to do adoption) at that point because we had been active with them before Abrazo the first time. It was kind of a half-hearted effort because they really don't do a lot of placements. Most of their clients choose to parent. Fast forward 18 months, and we decided to go with another local agency through which my sister had adopted her son. We chose them over Abrazo mainly because of costs of doing adoption locally vs. across state lines. It took another six months for me to get all our paperwork in (holidays, birthdays, moving into a new house, basically life was so busy and the urgency was not there as much as the first time around). By the time we were approved and active Joshua was 5...match and placement took place a year later and he was then 6. A lot can be said for having that age difference...Joshua is independent and doesn't "need" me as much as a toddler would. He loves his little sister and can be quite helpful with her. He can entertain her and get her to stop crying quicker than anyone! Of course I have to remind him not to drop her when he tries to pick her up! There is no jealousy. I feel like I really enjoyed Joshua and all his phases and firsts, and now I can really enjoy Lydia. Of course, having them closer in age helps when they are able to play together and entertain each other. For six years (not counting play dates) I was Joshua's playmate. I enjoyed it immensely but was not always able to drop everything and play. So sometimes he got lonely. He still needs other playmates because Lydia is not old enough. But he absolutely adores his little sister, and does enjoy just being in her company sometimes. My advice...if you feel the tug, start going in that direction. Life's circumstances and God (perhaps through life's circumstances!) will guide you on the path you need to be on. The result will be exactly what is needed for your family. I know I wouldn't change a thing in our winding road!

And the older they get, the harder it gets. At least that's what I'm discovering. Joshua doesn't want a lot of stuff...just expensive stuff!! X-box 360, a real NFL jersey, etc. It doesn't help that my husband and I have different views on buying our kids gifts for Christmas. To me, less is more! But he loves to give (never mind that he wants an X-box 360 too!). I'm really trying hard to think what we can do to make this season more meaningful and to do for others. I'm thinking about being matched with a family who doesn't have much and giving gifts to them. I realize it needs to involve sacrifice for Joshua as well or it doesn't work. I talk to Joshua about the major purchases we make and how we save our money for them. He just sees us buying what we want, but doesn't know/realize the times we don't buy what we want or we save to buy it later. I talk to him about kids who don't have nice homes, clothes, and toys. We've done to service projects together through our church. I have to say at this point he still doesn't get it. He thinks he's deprived, but I'm working on it. Mainly through example and conversation. I sure welcome input from others.

Congratulations Joe and Teena!! Going to check out those cheeks in the gallery now!!

I've been waiting on this one!! Congratulations Dale, Amanda, and Arianna!! Can't wait to meet your newest angel. :wub:

I have been out of the loop, but noticed your online profile had NEW PARENTS with it. I had to investigate and found this wonderful news! WOW!! Rejoicing with Thanksgiving for you and your new daughter. January MAMS is going to be a full house!!! Can't wait to meet your sweet angel and all the other Texas babies that have come this way!

I'll be glad to do my part!!! Congrats to the Canteys...can't wait to meet you all some day in Memphis! Continued prayers for you guys and your courageous birthfamilies.

My mom used to say that a person needs at least 12 hugs a day!!

Two adorable children in the gallery...

I think I can see the bright lights of the beaming family all the way from San Antonio to Tennessee, and I know I hear a loud chorus of Hallelujahs too!! I'm so excited for this wonderful couple, their precious daughter, and her loving and courageous birthfamily!! I can't wait to meet this little one, but a picture in the gallery would tie me over for now!

I don't get it!! I know of at least one family who would have gladly taken him...

Thanks for posting this John. My college roommate and best friend for more than 20 years called this morning to tell me her father died yesterday. He was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer almost a year ago. I know his earthly body was tired of the battle and that he is at peace in the presence of God. But my friend is hurting...she is very much a daddy's girl, and her daddy was a very special man. I have so many fond memories of him, and my heart is heavy with grief for his family who will surely feel the void he has left for the rest of their lives.

I think the best way is by example. And encouraging them to say their "own" prayers. When Joshua was younger, he recited prayers also, but as he has gotten older, he says prayers from his heart. Sometimes they are short and sweet and sometimes they can be rather lengthy! At bedtime, we would pray first and then Joshua would pray. We also asked questions like, what are you most thankful for today, who do we know who needs prayer, what do you need prayer for...and then we would encourage him to pray for those things. I think this is definitely an "age thing." But it is so precious when they really start to get it. I also try to point out when God has answered a prayer. We also pray other than just at bedtime and mealtime. If he gets in trouble, I encourage him to ask God to forgive him and help him to not do (fill in the blank). If we see a firetruck or ambulance drive by with their sirens on, we pray for the safety of the firefighters/paramedics as well as those they are going to help. We prayed a lot for a baby brother or sister. One time I almost cried when Joshua said he was ready to "give up" because we had been praying for so long with no answer. I knew how he felt, but was able to respond that we must never give up in prayer...God is always able to give us what we need. Of course, when this prayer was answered, I made sure we talked about that!! What an important subject, Elizabeth!! I would also love to hear what other parents do!

I am putting up a praise tonight that we are home from the hospital with Joshua. We had to take him to the ER Tuesday night for an asthma attack. He has always responded to Albuterol before and has never been admitted. But this time was different. He had gone downhill fast, and had to be on oxygen until Friday morning. They weaned him off gradually and then kept him overnight just to make sure he did not relapse. He was discharged this morning, and we are glad he is back to his self and home! It was hard being away from Lydia to be with Joshua and hard to be away from Joshua to be with Lydia. Larry and I took turns, and we had great help from my mom and sister in taking care of Lydia. I did not mention this earlier because we had not gotten in touch with Nichole, and I didn't want her to find out on the forum. We talked to her yesterday, and she was upset. But I assured her that he was "out of the woods" and doing great. She said she was ready to hop on a plane to come see for herself!! If all goes as planned, she can see for herself in three weeks! My advice to anyone whose child has even just begun to have breathing problems is to try to talk with an asthma educator. Although Joshua was not diagnosed with asthma until about a year ago (they always hesitate to give that diagnosis), he has been on asthma maintenance meds since he was 15 mos. We would get bits and pieces of information from different doctors over the past 5 years, and we began to learn his triggers and what to do ourselves, but I wish we would have had someone help us with a comprehensive action plan early on. It's a scary thing, but KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

Oh pleeeeaaaase! Elizabeth, I love the comment you left!

AMEN!!! I love to see the way God works!! Thanks for sharing. Great news about your mom and John!!

Welcome Robin. We look forward to hearing more from you and following your journey to your newest son or daughter!! Feel free to jump in anywhere...as you know, we're a friendly group!

I love the name as well because it is Joshua's middle name...chosen for the meaning "God gave" or "gift of God." Your new son and relationship with C is definitely one of God's greatest gifts as well as the faith God has given you to walk this journey! Congratulations!!! I look forward to meeting your son!

Looks like the Memphis crew will need to "Eat mor chikin" to help this family offset their new expenses of diapers and formula (cause believe you me, it adds up!!) I'll be glad to stop by for cookies and cream milkshakes to do my part!! Congratulations!!

Awesome story Annie and/or Eric! Thanks for sharing...I'm assuming you have your crib!!

Congrats!! How exciting!

So true!! I told a friend who was considering adoption, that it was great when we started in that direction because you could go back to having sex for fun again!

Hmmmm....wonder if they'll share that with their daughter!

Paula, Scott, and McKenna, I'm so sorry to hear about Eduardo...may God grant you peace and comfort. Susan

Congratulations Tony, Linda, Andrew, and Ayanna!! From a family of two to four in about a year's time!! May God pour his richest blessings on you all during your transition and as a forever family of four (at least until the stork comes calling again!!)