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suebee

Abrazo's Elite
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Everything posted by suebee

  1. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2017

    Congratulations! I'm excited to read this news!
  2. suebee

    Againers Needed!

    Does this mean you'll be there?!! That would be great! Yay! Jump on board!
  3. suebee

    A Birth Grandmother's Role

    I can't believe your sweet granddaughter is in Kindergarten already! Hope she has an amazing year!
  4. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2014

    Congratulations to the newest Abrazo family!
  5. suebee

    In Memoriam

    He was a very nice man and such an important part of so many of our adoption journeys. My sympathies to those who loved him...including the Abrazo chicks.
  6. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2014

    Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys!
  7. suebee

    A Birth Grandmother's Role

    You've gotten me curious. Hoping it was a good speechless, and not a bad speechless!
  8. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2014

    Congratulations Ben and Lena! I look forward to meeting your son!
  9. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2014

    Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of diapers, sweet baby sounds, and sleepless nights!
  10. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2013

    Congratulations on this unexpected blessing!!
  11. suebee

    Open Adoption

    Thanks for you feedback, guys. Hannah, I can relate to much of what you wrote. From conversations with you to what you've shared on the forum, I know we are on the same page. I think learning about the "negatives" of adoption have definitely made me more sympathetic. But I can't stay there all the time and be a good parent. And I try not to "borrow" trouble or worry about the future...about things that may never happen or would not change by my worrying! I must trust God to see us through whatever difficulties we face in raising our kids...those related to adoption and those that are not. Elizabeth, thanks for the link to the other article by Claudia. I guess, by her definition, I would also consider myself anti-adoption! Thank you for doing what you do and for helping to educate us on the good, the bad, and the ugly side of adoption. Not every agency does that! That's why I think Abrazo has some of the best and most compassionate APs!
  12. suebee

    Open Adoption

    (Cue the crickets chirping!!) Nothing makes me sadder than to think that my children will feel loss for the choices made on their behalf. Or to think that our love and our family are "not enough." And I don't like to read/hear about the negatives of adoption. I had no idea when I started this journey more than 13 years ago, that there are so many people who strongly feel that adoption should be done away with. But, I don't see that as a realistic option. In a perfect world, of course it would not be necessary, but as we all know, our world is far from perfect. While I definitely think there is lots of room for reform with adoption, it is still necessary for people who are not at a place where they are ready to parent (or parent another child). I would hope that the reasons are beyond financial. And I would hope that they have been given the support to consider all the options and resources. As far as the article goes, I think it's easy for anyone to think the grass is greener. Even my observation that I am sad sometimes that my son does not have the opportunity to "grow up with" his bio brother and sister is not rooted in reality. Because the reality is that even if he had not been adopted, he would most likely not have grown up with them. They are his birthfather's children, and most likely, if his birthmother had not placed, he would have stayed with her, and his bf would not even be in the picture. It's very possible, he has more opportunity now to have a relationship with them than if he had not been adopted. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I sometimes feel that when people (generally first parents or older adoptees) talk like adoption should be banished, they are looking at what "could have been" with rose colored glasses. Not sure if any of this is making sense...I'm just trying to process some of the "negative" side of adoption. For those who are PIW or enjoying those first sweet months with you new son/daughter, I don't want to be a downer. Honestly, I have seen very little, if any, negative effects of being adopted in either of my kids. They both seem happy and well-adjusted. Okay, I'm going to hit "Post" before I delete!
  13. suebee

    Open Adoption

    I came across this article today (posted by a friend on FB). http://networkedblogs.com/R6h7o I'm still processing it, but was definitely struck by numbers one and three. I am FB friends with my son's older siblings. They are great kids (age 14 and 16), and they have a very tight bond. I do get sad sometimes that he is missing out on growing up with them. Does anyone else ever feel like this? On number 2, I thought it was interesting that the author's perception was that her adoptive mom got busy and neglected the relationship. This definitely may have been the case, but I know for me personally (and many of my friends who have adopted), it is the first parents who seem to step back from the relationship. I think we all know that Open adoption is not the "cure" for adoption loss, but that it is definitely a better choice than the closed adoptions of years past. Would love to hear others thoughts about this article.
  14. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2013

    For everything there is a season...so glad your season of waiting is over, and your faith has become sight! Congratulations!
  15. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2013

    Been waiting on pins and needles for the official announcement!! Congratulations Steven, Melissa, and Ollie on your newest family member. She is beautiful. I know Grand Mimi is proud too and ready to spoil her! Prayers being said for Amelia's first family who are a very special part of your family.
  16. suebee

    A Birth Grandmother's Role

    Great quote Mari, and a great reminder for me. Our house has a revolving door with kids coming and going all the time. We have lots of kids in our cove, and if they are not in our house, they are in our garage/yard/always close by. My kids constantly ask if they can have friends over because they know (most likely) I'll say yes! At first I resisted it a little, but then I began to embrace it because I always said I wanted to know where my kids were and who their friends were. I'm glad they enjoy having friends over, and glad their friends enjoy being here! I am blessed!
  17. suebee

    Age of adoptive parents

    Yesterday Joshua and I were helping out in the 2 year old room at church like we do once a month. One of the other workers had her 6-year-old daughter in there with her. I asked the girl if she knew my daughter Lydia, who is coming up on her 6th birthday, and then showed her a picture. She said, "Yes, I know her. She goes to my school too." (We have lots of schools represented at our church.) She then asked if she was my daughter or my granddaughter!! Gotta love the (sometimes brutal) honesty of kids! Technically, I'm old enough to be her grandmother, but I would have had to start my family very young!
  18. suebee

    A Birth Grandmother's Role

    You are always there for others, so it is an honor to be here for you. Thanks for entrusting your concerns with us, and I add my prayers to the many others.
  19. suebee

    How Long Did You Wait? Why Abrazo?

    Very well said Suzi! Adoption is not for the faint of heart. It is definitely a leap of faith. It sounds like you've already taken some leaps and experienced some heartbreak. While all of us who have become parents through adoption are different and have different stories, I think the thing we all agree on is that when your child is in your arms, it doesn't matter what you went through before that point. They are worth it, and you would do it all over again!
  20. suebee

    How Long Did You Wait? Why Abrazo?

    Hi Matt and Katie, Welcome to the forum! Your questions are always welcome here! It sounds like my husband and I went through a similar process as y'all are. We tried to adopt independently first, then with a local agency (we were in TN at the time...now we are just across the state line in north MS). That particular agency also does not do very many placements. After about a year total we found our way to Abrazo (through the recommendation of our social worker and one of my husband's co-workers at the time) and eventually to our son! We went to orientation the last weekend in September, talked with his birthmom the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, matched, and he was born the day after Valentine's Day...4 1/2 months! (They say typically 6-12 months from when your file is active...that is homestudy completed and profile done.) That was more than 12 years ago, and I guess it says a lot about Abrazo, that I have stuck around! Abrazo is a great agency and community. I've never heard or experienced any other agency like it. We did adopt our daughter locally almost six years ago...mainly for two reasons. One of course was the finances involved with travel and an out of state adoption, and the other was that we truly believe in open adoption and wanted to be closer to our next birthmom/family. We waited a year with the other agency, and were making plans to "head home" and attend the August 2007 orientation with Abrazo, when we got a call in June that a birthmom with the local agency wanted to meet us, and then our daughter was born in July. With both of our adoptions we never had a match that did not end in placement. That is rare I think, and we are blessed. There are lots of families that have had matches that do not result in placement, and while that is heartbreaking, they go on to meet the child that was "meant to be" theirs. I think it's good that Abrazo and Abrazo's families empower the expectant moms to make the best choice for them and their child...even if it means reconsidering their decision to place. I could go on and on. The staff at Abrazo are very knowledgeable and experienced. You would be in very good hands. One difference I think many of us have noticed is that they do not necessarily cater to the adoptive families. They treat each person equally (expectant parents and adoptive parents) and are always concerned first and foremost about what is best for the child involved. They do not "work" for you because you pay their fees. They tend to tell it like it is, and that may not be pleasant to hear sometimes. But I know family after family who are glad they listened and followed the wisdom of these women. Another plus and difference I have seen with Abrazo is that they only "sign up" as many families that they think they can place with in a reasonable amount of time. The two other agencies we worked with will sign up as many families as come to them, which can definitely make the wait time longer. Hope this helps! I know many others will chime in. This weekend is the annual Camp Abrazo, so many of our forum faithful are still in Texas or traveling home. I wish you the best on your journey!
  21. suebee

    A Birth Grandmother's Role

    Oh, you have no idea!
  22. suebee

    A Birth Grandmother's Role

    Just be glad it's not the song in Melissa's voice and with hand motions stuck in your head! Talk about annoying!! Just ask anyone who's ever been privileged to ride with her to an Elite Retreat!
  23. suebee

    In Memoriam

    So sad. Prayers for those she leaves behind. Stork, was she ever on the forum? Her first name is unusual but sounds familiar.
  24. suebee

    A Birth Grandmother's Role

    Happy Mother/Grandmother's Day to you too Mari! Thanks for sharing this thought with us. While most of us yearned to be mothers for many years, the reality of mothering can sometimes make you weary. What a great reminder that what we do--even the mundane, unnoticed and unappreciated things--makes a difference!
  25. suebee

    Baby Announcements 2013

    Rejoicing with you Tim and Leslie! I can't wait to meet this precious girl!
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