FeelingBlessed

Well, I can't think of a better reason for us NOT to have you guys over in Hot Springs anytime soon! CONGRATULATIONS, Grace and Nathan! Hopefully, we can make a road trip to LR to meet your new daughter soon!

When our youngest graduates from high school, my husband will be 67 and I will be 60! YIKES! Do we think about being older parents? You betcha. And, we do everything in our power to "stay young" and plan for the future -- the kids' and ours. We are forever grateful to Abrazo for being one of the very few adoption agencies that didn't immediately write us off the books for our ages when we first started our journey to being a family in 1997. But, the reality of the situation is that there ARE many age-related things we now must consider if we truly want to be the best parents possible for our girls. Serious things, like maintaining life insurance, having a good financial plan in place, updating wills and designations of beneficiaries, determining guardianships, and keeping physically fit. And, there are some light-hearted things too, like knowing what Dubstep is, dealing with grey hair (and no hair!), understanding that Flo Rida isn't the same as Florida, staying awake past 8:30 p.m., dealing with menopause (and MAN-opause!) symptoms at the same time the girls are PMSing, and graciously coping with being called "Nana" by the Walmart cashier (AARGH!). In fact, probably one of the most eye-opening experiences I ever had as an "older" mom came when I was on a school field trip with our youngest daughter's class. I rode in the car with another child's mom, who lamented the entire way about her upcoming birthday. When I asked her how old she was going to be, she sadly said, "Twenty-nine. Next year I'll be 30 years old!" To which I took a deep breath and announced, "Wow! Can you believe that my husband and I were married the same year you were born?!" Yee-haw! Viva the Mature Mamas of this world!

Just a friendly reminder for each of us to really "live in the day" ... SLOW DANCE Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's Erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun Into the fading night? You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. Do you run through each day On the fly? When you ask, "How are you?" Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, Do you lie in your bed With the next hundred chores Running through your head? You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow," And in your haste, Not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Cause you never had time To call and say,"Hi." You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. When you run so fast To get somewhere, You miss half the fun Of getting there. When you worry and hurry Through your day, It is like an unopened gift ... Thrown away. Life is not a race. Do take it slower. Hear the music Before the song is over.

I know some birthparents may think that having their child grow up in a Texas home will make it easier for periodic visits, but I guess it all depends on WHERE in Texas you live and your mode of transportation! Beaumont to El Paso is 742 miles and Beaumont to Chicago is just 770 miles and El Paso is actually closer to California than to Dallas!

lovefaithhope -- Welcome to the Forum! You might try reading this thread to get an idea of why people choose Abrazo! (Adoptive Parents/Looking to Adopt/References & Testimonials) http://abrazo.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=3302&st=0

Heather -- We haven't heard from our birthmother in five years now, but we do have two framed pictures of her on our family picture wall. Our girls are 10, 9, and 6-1/2, and they do occasionally ask about "C" and where she is and what she is doing and why she doesn't call (in contrast to our birthfather, who does call fairly regularly). In our circumstance, we thought it better to put up pictures of "C", even though she's been MIA for a while now, so that WHEN (not IF!) she does contact us, the girls will "know" her as much as is humanly possible for now. To date, having the pictures up has not been a "sad" reminder for any of our daughters, just as having pictures up of cousins and nieces that we don't see very often aren't sad reminders either. "C's" picture is just a part of the mix of all our many relatives that we have hanging on the wall.

Cancer is so limited ... It cannot cripple love It cannot shatter hope It cannot corrode faith It cannot destroy peace It cannot kill friendship It cannot suppress memories It cannot silence courage It cannot invade the soul It cannot steal eternal life It cannot conquer the spirit.

Wonder if our Webmaster could put up a banner on the Forum homepage (kind of like the announcement banners we've had when annual reports are due) that includes the candle link so that you could remember to just click on the link everytime you logged on to the Forum?

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, Diet Coke in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming: "WOO-HOO! What a ride!"

No, no! In the really "olden" days, we had to be happy with the AFFINITY announcement ... and we ALL know how long that takes to get! Heartfelt congratulations to ALL the new families! What a great day (and way!) to catch up on my Forum reading!

As per weadoptedthree's request ...

Why I love my children's birthparents: Because they created three of the most wonderful human beings I know; Because they had the strength of character to put the girls' needs above their own desires; Because in the time the girls actually lived with them, they instilled in them an amazing ability to love and be loved; Because they see the value of staying in our children's lives; Because they are willing to help us do a better job of raising our children by sharing information; Because I love my children with everything in my being, and everytime I look at them I see a little piece of our birthparents too!

Karen -- One thing I would suggest is that you and Amanda (and maybe even your youngest daughter) see if you can start or join a small group Bible study with other mother-daughter teams in your church that may have more "history" of being active in the church. There are several really good studies out there specifically designed for mothers and daughters. And, there are also several good studies about growing up as young women with Christian values -- that may be a good place to start with Amanda so that you can ease into the subject. I do think it is very important for you to be involved with her in this religious journey she is undertaking -- she needs your support right now, and she needs to see you "modeling" the behavior of turning to the Bible and spiritual leaders whenever you have questions. If you can't get involved in a study with other moms and daughters, then think about asking an older woman in your congregation whom you respect to act as a "mentor" to you and Amanda -- you can design your own script of how your meetings will go -- maybe have dinner once a month where the three (or four) of you discuss some relevant "growing-up" issue in the context of what the Bible says about it -- maybe have a "craft" time where you work on a project together and talk "religion" at the same time -- the possibilities are endless. Or, if your church (or even another church in town) has a Stephen Ministry program, ask to be assigned a Stephen Minister that can help you and Amanda work through some of these difficult issues. Whatever you do, please don't ever think that it is too late for Amanda to get over this fear of Christianity ... which is probably just a lack of understanding what Christianity is all about. Yes, it is going to take an investment of time ... and I know time is a precious commodity in the lives of busy families. But, you are talking about an eternal investment here, something that is well worth the time it requires. The Bible says: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8) So, ask God in prayer to help you with this situation; seek out help (as you are doing) through your church, reading the Bible, and talking to other believers; and keep knocking at Christ's door because only He can open the door to Amanda's heart. My prayers are going out to you and your family for lots of spiritual encouragement ...