ElizabethAnn

Sounds to me like they're charging you $850 for an update. (And given that your first placement occurred well before March 2010, it sounds like your homestudy worker is somewhat clueless.) Don't let them schedule their home visit and interviews until you're within 60 days of your next placement date, or you'll invariably be paying them for another update at that time!

I know we've repeated this information in numerous different spots on the Forum, but there still seems to be ample confusion on this topic, so I'm posting this here, and making it as clear as I can: IF YOU HAVE ALREADY ADOPTED AND YOU ARE STARTING THE PROCESS FOR YOUR NEXT ADOPTION, DO NOT GET YOUR HOMESTUDY UPDATED UNTIL YOU ARE MATCHED AND WITHIN 60 DAYS OF THE ANTICIPATED PLACEMENT DATE DATE!!!! Here's why: the original homestudy is (was) your ticket to adopt. You had to have an original homestudy done and submitted before Abrazo could begin any matching activities (ie., showing your profile, setting up phone calls, sending out case assessments, etc.) When you come back to adopt again, since you already have that original homestudy on file here, it still qualifies us to proceed with matching activities (ie., showing your profile, setting up phone calls, sending out case assessments, etc.) for your next adoption. All you need to have done to your homestudy, assuming it passed muster with us the first time you adopted, is to arrange with your homestudy worker to get an UPDATE (repeat: an update, NOT a whole new homestudy) done within 60 days of your next placement date... and you won't know when that date will be, of course, until you're already matched. You cannot do "another homestudy" after you've had the original homestudy done; any subsequent study is an addendum (to document content changes) or an update (to bring the original study current.) The update is just a report based on a series of individual interviews with each household member and a joint interview with all household members and a home visit, and can be done all in one day, less than 60 days before the due date of whatever expectant mom with whom you're matched. (Should that anticipated placement fail to occur, or should the due date get moved back, then you will need to have an additional update done again, later. But let's hope things go as planned!) This is subject to change, should Licensing revise the homestudy rules again... but as of 11/1/10, this is the current standard. Any questions? Call Brianna at the office. But remember: don't update until you know the next placement date! Hope this helps!

We were just talking, this past weekend, about Oprah and today, she went public with the news that she learned just this past November that her own mother secretly placed a baby for adoption back in the Sixties... Oprah featured her birthsister Patricia on today's show, and if you missed it, you can watch this to learn more.

Loriahn, I know you found your adoptive parents through a different agency, but at Abrazo, we never even advise our adopting parents to set up "baby lines" or "birthmother lines" (those tollfree numbers that adoptive parents can purchase to take calls from prospective birthparents until they arbitrarily cut it off). At Abrazo, we believe in full-disclosure and we want the expectant parents who match in our program to be able to trust that the identifying information (like last names, addresses, phone numbers, etc.) our adopting families provide isn't temporary or subject to change. Abrazo encourages all our moms to initially choose three prospective families to speak with, and we do so to ensure that those moms know they have more than one option and don't feel "guilted into" choosing someone with whom they may, in actuality, have little in common. You are absolutely right: no mother (or father) should EVER feel they "have" to pick someone, and expectant parents should avail themselves of the right to explore a variety of possible homes and possible alternatives, before making any final decisions! We try to teach our adopting families at orientation that there's a "right" match for everyone, and that it's important for everybody to be able to exercise discretion in determining which match is (or is not) right for them, and why. A phone call is not a lifetime commitment; it's only an introductory step in the process of determining whether or not adoption is likely to be the most fitting choice for one's child's future (or not.) I'd like to think that Abrazo's adoptive families genuinely want each prospective mom with whom they speak to make her own best choices, knowing the baby that's meant for them will find them eventually, and treasuring each such phone call (regardless of the outcome) as a chance to better appreciate the challenges faced by expectant parents considering placement.

A hearty "welcome back" to old friends Marcelo & Claudia who are officially "back again" for a third Abrazobabe, and for Rich & Kristin, who are "coming home" to find their second child! We're delighted to have the opportunity to work with both, again, and wish them Godspeed in their quest!

We've launched a special memorial site in D'Nola's honor, HERE. Please feel free to post prayers, kind thoughts, Camp memories and any photos you may have of Bruce's birth mom, from her summers with us.

Absolutely, Susan! What a wonderful idea! D'Nola was the depiction of grace and beauty and class and resilience, and nobody could've said it better than Jean: there IS a new angel in Heaven, now! I think it would be most appropriate to have a special time of remembrance in D'Nola's honor at Camp this summer, if her beloved son Bruce feels this would be okay? (P.S. Those who wish to send notes of condolence to Bruce and his wife Pat, please feel free to mail them to Abrazo for forwarding if you no longer have the Camp roster with their address! It is unlikely that those outside the adoption community can truly understand what a loss this is to a son who only met his mother a few years ago.)

This recent news story should serve as a painful explanation of why Abrazo really does care about what kind of pets people have, however harmless they may seem, and why it is imperative that those pet-owners carefully watch over their pets, if a new baby is placed in the home: Ferret Bits Off Sleeping Baby's Fingers. To read another "pet query" and the answers that appeared on Yahoo, click here. (And just for the record, I do think that 7 "inside" cats and 2 dogs would probably be a bit excessive, were these people to apply to adopt here!?) The applicant who originally raised the pet question here may have been interested to know that turtles are typically considered unsafe pets for homes with small children: Look here, for more information on protecting babies and small children, Healthy Pets, Healthy Kids.

This is definitely a reminder that any adoption worth doing is worth doing the "right" way... Charity Newton is a Texas mom who had previously placed through an agency, but when she found herself overwhelmed with another baby boy, opted to place her son Sylar Newton privately, with a friend she knew and trusted... a friend who is now charged with little Sylar's death, along with her own mother: Grandmother Also Charged in Sylar's Death While dealing with an adoption agency and all the paperwork involved can seem like a nuisance at times (and although agency placements, too, can have unexpected outcomes on occasion), the protection of post-placement supervision and the overview of adoption professionals can help protect children like Sylar, in cases like this. Adoption is NOT a perfect alternative, and it's not right for everyone. But done right, it surely could have offered a brighter future for a child like Sylar... may he rest in peace.

The Sweeneys lived in the Madison area. This story by Jackie Mitchard, from GLAMOUR magazine, includes a photo of Stacey and Gabriella and Jackie which I took of them, at the christening of Jackie's son Atticus (who is my godson)... it was the last time I saw Stacey: What Do You Owe a Friend?

I love that Embassy Suites! (Don't tell anyone I helped open it back in 1985 when I was fresh out of college and got a job there as a desk clerk right after it was first built, ha!) Unfortunately, though, they won't give us a per night room rate of less than $100, which is our general rule of thumb in selecting properties for orientation, since we know it's not an inexpensive weekend and we do what we can to help keep the costs down for our participants. Otherwise, we'd be all for it!

Danette, I am not advocating for any of the programs below, but here's a basic summary of the figures I found for IL homestudies, which are significantly higher than Abrazo's $1200 homestudy fee for couples in-state (still, not one of them is anywhere near that $7k mark someone quoted you!?!) These folks don't post their fees online, but I know several Abrazo families have used them: http://www.f-r-c.org/home_study_services.php $2500 (appears to be for homestudy only): http://www.stmaryservices.com/domestic_fees.cfm $2580 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision: http://www.adoptionark.org/public/pag13.aspx $2725 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision: http://www.centerforfamily.com/informationsheet.html $2750 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision: http://www.adoption-link.org/domestichomestudy.aspx $2850 (appears to be for homestudy only?) http://www.sunnyridge.org/adoption/domestic/cost.php $4k (gulp!) for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision: http://www.cradle.org/fees-1 $4,250 (double gulp-- this is a CHURCH-subsidized agency!?!) for homestudy plus postplacement: http://adoptionillinois.org/DomesticInfantAdoptionFees.html

The adoption process IS a "burdensome blessing"! I never heard it described that way before, but it's certainly fitting. Bethany Family Shares Their Experience

Ouch! This could happen in any family, of course, but what a shame that children who have already been so victimized would have their tragedy (original newstory here) compounded by the actions of the relatives who adopted them: Relatives Who Adopted Orphaned Kids Charged With Stealing Fortune (Text appears below in case the link goes bad.) See also: Chiropracter and wife who adopted accused of spending $1.5m of orphans' money.

Welcome, TTC! We adore your daughter and son-in-law and look forward to seeing their (and your) family grow! Please feel free to jump in any conversation, on any topic here on the Forum (grandparent-related or otherwise!) We learn best from each other and we're so glad you've joined our Forum family. Make yourself at home!

I was doing a little online research to help a former client, and came across some resources that I thought others might find helpful, as well. (Please note: I am not personally endorsing any of these programs, as I don't know any more about them than I can read, but hopefully, something contained here may be of benefit to someone we know): ABBA Interest-free Adoption Loan program: http://www.abbafund.org/howwecanhelp.htm Gift of Adoption Grant program: http://www.giftofadoption.org/apply/whoShouldApply.html Show Hope (adoption grants): http://www.showhope.org/AdoptionAid/AdoptionGrants/ApplyforaGrant.aspx * God's Grace (adoption grants): http://ggam.org/apply/ National Adoption Foundation: http://www.nafadopt.org/how-we-can-help/direct-grants.shtml Help Us Adopt Foundation (grants): http://www.helpusadopt.org/ Gotcha Gift Registry (enables cash gifts, etc.): http://www.gotchagiftregistry.com/ *This program has helped more than one Abrazo family adopt in years past.

Thanks for asking... we have been able to assist one of the two mothers whose needs we posted recently; the other has gone elsewhere to seek assistance.

Abrazo's next orientation is scheduled for the weekend of November 12-14... please, please, please, if you're thinking of getting started in our program, get your paperwork in and join us then and there! because as you might note from the Parents-in-Waiting profiles on our Gallery, we are definitely in need of more families! Our fabulous families who are still waiting to match know that their turn is right around the corner, and that every agency needs a sizable assortment of prospective adoptive parents to meet the varying requests of the prospective birthparents who come to us. (Unfortunately, having only a half-dozen waiting couples each with their own varying race and gender requirements is not a sufficient variety!) Having our beloved clientele matching and placing and moving on is, of course, a nice problem to have, but a problem nonetheless, so get the word out: Abrazo NEEDS more adopting families! Our biggest demand is for (1) childless couples, (2) Texas couples/families, and (3) applicants open to children who are of part or full African-American ancestry. Help us get our "inventory" of waiting adoptive families back up into the double digits so the flurry of expectant parents coming to us lately find ample numbers of homes to choose from!

And the NEWEST old celebrity to come forward and admit that he was the birthfather of a baby who was placed for adoption is... ROD STEWART! (Click underlined link to learn more.) Kudos for his public acknowledgment of his birthdaughter, and his efforts to stay in touch despite the initial discomfort both reportedly felt in the years since their first reunion. (Which is, of course, as it should be.) And kudos to a woman whose devotion to the parents that adopted her was not in any way changed by her discovery of her famous birthdad. (Which is, of course, as it should be.)

And the NEWEST old celebrity to come forward and admit that he was the birthfather of a baby who was placed for adoption is... ROD STEWART! Kudos for his public acknowledgment of his birthdaughter at a recent concert. What an affirmation for a girl who grew up not knowing, herself!

I realize this is not about "financing an adoption", per se, but it certainly relates to the ignorant remarks adoptive families get from others about the adoption investment and a few other salient issues, so I thought we'd share it here: from the blog Single Dad Laughing, it's "How Much Did Your Kid Cost"? (Text appears below in case the link goes bad, because this is one piece we want everyone to read-- forever!)