People who have not been through the adoption process are clueless. Once you match with a birthmom, experience them relinquishing their rights (hardest day of birthparent and adoptive family life), and then take home your baby, you are a parent who has been through labor. Adoption labor is very different than natural labor, but labor none the less.
I have a friend who is determined to let me know that I have no idea how painful labor is. She is the one clueless....I would push and be in pain for hours to know that our birthmom did not have to go through what she went through and is still struggling with. She also didn't have to experience the first 3 1/2 months of her daughters life in wonder of was the court going to give Andrew to his birthfather (who was in prison) instead of relinquish his rights. That was an awful time of worry, for us the adoptive parents and for our birthmother. She was still trying to have a relationship with him and he was contesting everything she felt.
Labor....you go through it no matter how you become a parent.
Enough on my soap box!!!!