kbutterfly314

I know that it is wrong. I really felt bad for this girl. I think that I would have had an all out family feud if they would have tried to make me do it because of that reason.

You know, Compulsory Adoption isn't a problem just for mother that are incarsirated but also for teenage girls too. The ones that family's make them give their child up because of embarrasement or because it might hurt their social standings. A girl I went to junior high school with was forced by her parents to give her child up for adoption because they felt like a child would ruin her chance of getting the basketball scholarship that was almost promised to her. They tried to hide her pregnancy and because her last big months were during the summer they had. But because of the emotional stress it put on her she quit basket ball, lost her scholarship. She would tell us how she would cry her self to sleep every night and resented her parents. I think that might a lot of why I chose an open adoption and made for sure that it was my choice and no one elses. Her's was a closed adoption and now her child is now 13 and she is doing better although she still has never seen a picture or heard a word of her child. She did go to college and get married and just had a baby boy nad is doing alright but she is still visited by those nightmares. I believe that because of the force of things that she is always goning to have that hole in her heart. I feel for her and am glad that in case I had a choice and got to make the one that works best for me and emotions. I also think that because my mother was a child of closed adoption she would have never made me do anything that I was emotionally ready for that's why I was giving a voice and choice.

I can't believe that I haven't seen this before! Well, what made me chose Abrazo was: When I decided to go with adoption for my son I was about 5 months along and I knew at that time it wasn't ready to a mother to three children. I really wasn't ready to a mother to two children either but it was to late for any life changing choices for them but for this one I knew I could give him everything he needed by finding a loving and happy family to care for him. So my cousin sent me this letter with a profile of this couple looking to adopt in the Dallas, TX area and a number to call. I called the number and it was for Abrazo and that couple had just recently adopted so I gave them my information and they sent me a packet with other potiental adoptive family's. When I got this one couple I just knew with out a dout that they were the ones that I wanted to adopt my son. I talked to another couple before talking to them but my mond was already made up on them. And the rest is a beautiful story.....The one that is uplifting and meant for lifetime. Who knows, one day it just might become a lifetime movie...lol But all-in-all, I am glad that I found Abrazo, or better yet they found me!

I am a birthmother and I was a lot more at ease about my decision once I found Abrazo. They were wonderful and helpful. They were great with me and my family. When i found them I was also just considering aboption. This is a difficult decision and they were great. I was really happy with them. And this on-line community is great. Everyone here are friendly and caring. It like a Internet Family.

Well, huh. I hope that everything works out for Angelina. I would hate to see Pax go back to a mother that is addicted to drugs. That would be so bad for the boy.

I hope that everything works out for the best for this birthmom and the baby boy she just had.

It will definately be a told culture shock for this child to go from a poor life style to a rich one. And to do all that traveling that they do and all the people following them with cameras. There will not be anything familiar to this child that Angelina brings home. So hopefully the baby gets to bring a familiar toy, blanket, or something. It really will be a total life changing event for such a young child. It's hard for most adults to make that change from normal to mega super star and that is basically what is going to happen to this child.

Of all the things I really wanted to say I will say this as a birthmother, If I hadn't had the family support I have I would have been emotionally drained but because my family is so supportive and willing to listen to what I have to say about my birth child I am not as emotionally torn as I could have been. When a person has to give a child a better home with other people it is the hardest decision they could ever face and the fact that they can have an open relationship makes that decision easier. And we as birthparents, we need the love and understanding from our own parents to share the joy and the pain with. I live in a very small town and I am able to have the relationship with the adoptive parents and my family without the town knowing. It is possible to have your privacy and still be there for her when she wants to talk about the child. I am really believing that the fact that you don't want it brought up is really an emotional pain you have not come to terms with and it is more your sadness that makes this subject unbearable then the fact that others may find out about it. I can say your daughter needs you to be there for her when she needs you the most, which is right now. And a lot has changed since then and now and nothing will ever be the same as it was before. No one after have a child can just pick up where they left off and move on. My mothers birthgrandparents will say that. They tired it and it didn't work it just cost them the relationship they use to have with their daughter.

My cousin sent me information on Adoption and in the information she sent me there was a picture of a couple and then an artical about Abrazo with a number. So I called and you all know the rest!

I can't believe that it has been that long ago either. Harmon turns 6 in August. I am glad that you are glad that I am a part of the forum community now. But now I need to work on increasing my chili peppers...lol

I didn't think about it at the time of placing, but I was shock how it ended up after he was with them and started growing. But I have heard it said that when you live with someone long enough you all start to resemble each other. Every tells my husband that his "son" looks just like him and Alex has a different father. But My husband has been his acting father since he was 18months old, he is 7 now.

I was looking through the board index and came across this. Elizabeth, I had completely forgotton about it....lol

To the statement "because if God wanted infertile people to become parents, wouldn't He give them the ability to reproduce?" I believe that infertile couples was God's way of giving parent's to children in need due to uncontrollable situations. I like to believe that every child placed was meant to be with the family that adopted them from the begining. Of course this is just how I feel but it sounds good to me. It is hard to determine God's will for you and sometimes you just have have faith let go of your wants and follow the guidence you already know is there.

I have never had to go throught the things you all have when it comes to having a baby or a family. But, the couple that adopted my baby had tried IVF several times and it never worked for them. Then they adopted and a few years later decided that they want another child so they went ahead and tried IVF one more time now they have three beautiful boys. They were told that IVF seems to work better for people who already have a child, I guess in part because the stress isn't so much and if it don't they already have a family. But I just thought I would share this with those of you who are interested.