kbutterfly314

I know that it is wrong. I really felt bad for this girl. I think that I would have had an all out family feud if they would have tried to make me do it because of that reason.

You know, Compulsory Adoption isn't a problem just for mother that are incarsirated but also for teenage girls too. The ones that family's make them give their child up because of embarrasement or because it might hurt their social standings. A girl I went to junior high school with was forced by her parents to give her child up for adoption because they felt like a child would ruin her chance of getting the basketball scholarship that was almost promised to her. They tried to hide her pregnancy and because her last big months were during the summer they had. But because of the emotional stress it put on her she quit basket ball, lost her scholarship. She would tell us how she would cry her self to sleep every night and resented her parents. I think that might a lot of why I chose an open adoption and made for sure that it was my choice and no one elses. Her's was a closed adoption and now her child is now 13 and she is doing better although she still has never seen a picture or heard a word of her child. She did go to college and get married and just had a baby boy nad is doing alright but she is still visited by those nightmares. I believe that because of the force of things that she is always goning to have that hole in her heart. I feel for her and am glad that in case I had a choice and got to make the one that works best for me and emotions. I also think that because my mother was a child of closed adoption she would have never made me do anything that I was emotionally ready for that's why I was giving a voice and choice.

I can't believe that I haven't seen this before! Well, what made me chose Abrazo was: When I decided to go with adoption for my son I was about 5 months along and I knew at that time it wasn't ready to a mother to three children. I really wasn't ready to a mother to two children either but it was to late for any life changing choices for them but for this one I knew I could give him everything he needed by finding a loving and happy family to care for him. So my cousin sent me this letter with a profile of this couple looking to adopt in the Dallas, TX area and a number to call. I called the number and it was for Abrazo and that couple had just recently adopted so I gave them my information and they sent me a packet with other potiental adoptive family's. When I got this one couple I just knew with out a dout that they were the ones that I wanted to adopt my son. I talked to another couple before talking to them but my mond was already made up on them. And the rest is a beautiful story.....The one that is uplifting and meant for lifetime. Who knows, one day it just might become a lifetime movie...lol But all-in-all, I am glad that I found Abrazo, or better yet they found me!

I am a birthmother and I was a lot more at ease about my decision once I found Abrazo. They were wonderful and helpful. They were great with me and my family. When i found them I was also just considering aboption. This is a difficult decision and they were great. I was really happy with them. And this on-line community is great. Everyone here are friendly and caring. It like a Internet Family.

Well, huh. I hope that everything works out for Angelina. I would hate to see Pax go back to a mother that is addicted to drugs. That would be so bad for the boy.

I hope that everything works out for the best for this birthmom and the baby boy she just had.

It will definately be a told culture shock for this child to go from a poor life style to a rich one. And to do all that traveling that they do and all the people following them with cameras. There will not be anything familiar to this child that Angelina brings home. So hopefully the baby gets to bring a familiar toy, blanket, or something. It really will be a total life changing event for such a young child. It's hard for most adults to make that change from normal to mega super star and that is basically what is going to happen to this child.

Of all the things I really wanted to say I will say this as a birthmother, If I hadn't had the family support I have I would have been emotionally drained but because my family is so supportive and willing to listen to what I have to say about my birth child I am not as emotionally torn as I could have been. When a person has to give a child a better home with other people it is the hardest decision they could ever face and the fact that they can have an open relationship makes that decision easier. And we as birthparents, we need the love and understanding from our own parents to share the joy and the pain with. I live in a very small town and I am able to have the relationship with the adoptive parents and my family without the town knowing. It is possible to have your privacy and still be there for her when she wants to talk about the child. I am really believing that the fact that you don't want it brought up is really an emotional pain you have not come to terms with and it is more your sadness that makes this subject unbearable then the fact that others may find out about it. I can say your daughter needs you to be there for her when she needs you the most, which is right now. And a lot has changed since then and now and nothing will ever be the same as it was before. No one after have a child can just pick up where they left off and move on. My mothers birthgrandparents will say that. They tired it and it didn't work it just cost them the relationship they use to have with their daughter.

My cousin sent me information on Adoption and in the information she sent me there was a picture of a couple and then an artical about Abrazo with a number. So I called and you all know the rest!

I can't believe that it has been that long ago either. Harmon turns 6 in August. I am glad that you are glad that I am a part of the forum community now. But now I need to work on increasing my chili peppers...lol

I didn't think about it at the time of placing, but I was shock how it ended up after he was with them and started growing. But I have heard it said that when you live with someone long enough you all start to resemble each other. Every tells my husband that his "son" looks just like him and Alex has a different father. But My husband has been his acting father since he was 18months old, he is 7 now.

I was looking through the board index and came across this. Elizabeth, I had completely forgotton about it....lol

To the statement "because if God wanted infertile people to become parents, wouldn't He give them the ability to reproduce?" I believe that infertile couples was God's way of giving parent's to children in need due to uncontrollable situations. I like to believe that every child placed was meant to be with the family that adopted them from the begining. Of course this is just how I feel but it sounds good to me. It is hard to determine God's will for you and sometimes you just have have faith let go of your wants and follow the guidence you already know is there.

I have never had to go throught the things you all have when it comes to having a baby or a family. But, the couple that adopted my baby had tried IVF several times and it never worked for them. Then they adopted and a few years later decided that they want another child so they went ahead and tried IVF one more time now they have three beautiful boys. They were told that IVF seems to work better for people who already have a child, I guess in part because the stress isn't so much and if it don't they already have a family. But I just thought I would share this with those of you who are interested.

I think that the family involvment really depends on the family and the birthparents and should also have a little to do with the adoptive parents too. If the BP's are underage then I see a little more need but really what ever is most comfortable for all involved. My grandmother and mother were involved alittle and that was great. The AP's enjoyed talking with my grandmother and my mother seeing since how my mom was adopted it helped a little. My mother was able to tell them the outcome of her situation and the questions she asked it was helpful a little. We all had a great relationship and time together.

This a tuff subject. When I was pregnant with my first child I wanted a boy cause I wanted the oldest to be a bay. But nature gave me a girl. I believe that it is alright for parents to want a certian gender but they also should be able to love and except what ever gender comes their way. birthparents don't have the option to pick and choose. We have to except what we have no matter what. But then in some cases it might be better for them to wait for the right gender because some people might not love the wrong gender as much as they would the right one. I know that sounds bad but we all know that happens. I hear stories all the time of people treating their children badly because they weren't what they wanted. But hopely we don't know anyone like that and I am sure everyone here would love a child no matter what! But anyways this is just my thought.

Hello Claudia, Well I am 24 yrs old and have three kids, and one I place in 1999 with Abrazo. I am a LPN at a local nursing home and have been for 2 years! I love my job and the weird thing is that when I was in school I always said I would never work in a nursing home but now I couldn't see my self doing anything else but caring for the elderly. I began having children when I was 16 and by the time I was 19 I had already had four children and my tubes tied. My third child I place due to the fact that at the time I was not able to care for anymore children and abortion wasn't something that I would ever do. And I believe that the child I placed was meant for the people that adopted him. They are such a perfect fit. Oddly enough he even looks as though he was their own flesh and blood. It is so neat. The cool about it is that I care about the adoptive parents like they were my family and that makes thing great for me. I know that the child we share is being well taken care of and that means so much to me. But of course it does to most everyone. When I chose the family for my child I knew that they were the ones before I ever even spoke to them, like it was meant to be. I talk with one other family before them but I had my mind made up from the very begining after reading their profile the very first time. I am not sure how this will sound to everyone but when I gave birth to my child that I placed and had both parents in the room watching their first child be born and then getting to see him for the first time I was to over joyed just seeing how happy I just made two stangers that I felt no loss or pain durning that time of placement. It was a gift I was able to give them that know one else could it was such an amazing feeling. Of course at some point I felt a little sad but that is just natural. But I still remember the look on their face when he was born and when I made sure that the father was going to watch his child be born, thats what makes it so easy for me I suppose. I have such a kind heart and I love to make people happy. And don't think that there is anything that I could do that could bring that much joy to someones life. Adoption is such a wonderful joy in lives of many. I think another reason that my placing wasn't so hard was the fact that my mother was adopted and she never had a regret or bad feeling towards her birthmother. She loved her life and her mother and when she finally met her birthmother it was a good time. She completely understood the reasons why and my mother told me she never had feelings of not being wanted cause she had two very loving parents that wanted her very much. Well I think if I don't quit now I will just keep going on and on and on. I hope that I made sense! LOL! Karly