dana

Hi Christina, Just wanted to welcome you to the Abrazo family. You've already gotten tons of good advice and it sounds like you're off to a great start. I can relate to keeping busy, because it does help pass the time. Doing adoption and baby related things helped make me feel productive and made the prospect of being a parent feel REAL. You've chosen the right agency, now you just need to strap in for the ride. Your dreams are about to come true. Best wishes for a speedy placement and remember you've got your forum family to lean on to make the time fly! Keep the faith, Jacob & Matthew's Mommy

Dreams do come true! Not always in the time or exact way we wish, but in His time and His way we have been so blessed! As I type this I am holding our precious blessing from above, Matthew Christian. He was born on Friday, May 9th at 12:28 p.m.. He weighed 6 lbs 13 oz and was 18 inches long and he is the most BEAUTIFUL baby, perfect in every way. He was welcomed home Monday evening by his big brother Jacob, who is totally in love with him. Words cannot express the joy we feel right now and we want to thank the Abrazo Angels for helping us foster a match made in heaven. But most importantly we want to thank an amazing young lady and young man for making the most loving and courageous decision in choosing an adoption plan. We will never be able to thank them enough for choosing us to be Matthew's parents. We are honored and so blessed! To all the couples and parents still waiting, keep the faith. We are living proof that it's not if but when. And even if the journey is long, the reward is sooooo worth it. Blessings to all! Dana, Glenn, Jacob & Matthew

Here's another awesome open adoption experience. We've had an open relationship with our son's birthmom since she was 5 months pregnant. He's almost 4 now and we have maintained that relationship through letters, pictures, and phone calls. We visited her twice the first year and she came to visit for a weekend when he turned 2. For a while communication with her seemed limited and we were a little disappointed but kept sending pictures and updates determined to let her know what an amazing gift she had given us. It paid off. Last month she came to stay with us for almost a week. It was the most incredible visit that I know we will all treasure forever. She was thrilled to see how happy Jacob was and what a wonderful little boy he is. We went to the zoo and SeaWorld and shopping. We showed her around the community where we live and where Jacob will go to school. But most importantly we all got to spend lots of quality time together. She and I had a chance to talk openly about adoption issues that we've personally faced and ones that we think Jacob might face in the future and how we'll deal with it. She had a chance to read to him and give him a bath and run and play and sit and talk and fall asleep together. And it gave Jacob a concrete, real live person that he knows now carried him in her tummy... not just a picture or a name that we've told him about. We just feel so blessed to have this angel in our lives...she is our son's first mother, our friend, an important part of our family. When she left she thanked us for letting her come and visit. She told me she is so grateful. Jacob is such a lucky little boy to be a part of our family and we have given him everything she couldn't. It brought tears to my eyes, because all I could think was "we're the lucky ones and thank you for making the choices you made for him. Thank you for the gifts you've given us." One Lucky Mommy

Wow! I've been having withdrawals as I haven't been able to read the forum for a couple of weeks, but it was awesome to get on and read all the baby announcements! Congratulations Doug and Jennifer and all the other proud new mommies and daddies! Hope you're all safe and sound and settling in at home with your precious new bundles of joy. Dana

Congratulations Family Love! So glad you've taken the leap to parenthood via Abrazo. April orientation will be here before you know it. Keep us posted on your journey and let us know when your little bundle of joy arrives! I'm so excited for you! Dana

Good questions Katharine. Do you ever have complete resolve when it comes to infertility? I think it will always be a part of you, but it doesn't have to be who you are. Like Lisa we truly believe that things happen for a reason and that certain things are just meant to be or not to be. In our case we were not faced with male infertility, but with endometriosis and then unexplained infertility. I did feel guilty for not being able to produce a biological child, but I knew in my heart that we could love any child God brought into our lives. And my husband was so supportive. He never made me feel like it was "my" problem...it was just a problem that we would find a solution for. I think communication was what helped us through it. He was not afraid to talk about it and discuss what the doctor's were suggesting. He withstood my moodiness from the infertility drugs and my crying spells and was just there to support me any way he could. We made decisions together and I never felt like I was alone in the situation. He bared the burden with me. So as a couple we decided not to dwell on what was not meant to be. We pursued adoption after receiving a diagnosis from doctor's who were still saying with this procedure or that one there might be a chance.... We just felt like infertility was simply an obstacle to becoming parents and that adoption was our best solution. We could have gone on with more treatments and IVF like our doctors suggested, but we just felt in our hearts that our baby was somewhere out there waiting for us. When our son was born we knew our prayers had been answered and it seemed that all the pain we had endured during our infertility diagnosis and treatments were washed away. Jacob was the reason we could not conceive a biological child. If we had we would not have this precious son that we could not imagine living our lives without. When we decided to adopt again last year and called Abrazo for the application it was strange to complete for the second time. I remember the first time it took us forever. We deliberated over every question about infertility and dealing with the issues related. And this time my husband and I just zipped right through, because we already knew first hand that adoption works. The infertility issues did not seem like issues anymore. We want to be parents, to have children to love and nurture and share our lives with. It's much easier to talk about now, like at orientation I didn't feel overwhelmed with emotions the way I did the first time. And I think we've got more hope and we're more confident in that we know we're taking the right path to parenthood. It's not if, but when! Our journey this time has been longer and much more emotional than the first time. We've had disappointments along the way and there have been times when the wounds of infertility have been exposed. The disappointments of not being chosen by a birth family that you thought you connected with or the decision of a birthparent to parent instead of placing brings those feelings back. The overwhelming desire to "have" a baby and then the disappointment of the setback. It reminds me of the way we felt when a medical procedure was not successful or when it was, but resulted in miscarriage. The pain is still there but yet it is different. I think it's because we have faith that we will be parents again. Whereas during the infertility process I quite often felt hopeless, like it may never happen. While we are still faced with infertility in that we can't conceive a biological child, we know that adoption is a truly beautiful way to join families together. God does have a plan for us.

We've been through infertility and the treatments that go along with it. We investigated domestic vs. international adoption. To us the benefits of domestic outweighed international (some may disagree). We've had a very successful open adoption experience, and are currently on our second journey. Now this is just my opinion but here's what I think. Open adoption can be a roller coaster ride. Believe me we know that first hand. But if you think IVF will not be a roller coaster ride you are kidding yourself. It is very emotional and risky. And from our experience the odds just aren't that great. Adoption is pretty much a sure thing if you stick out the ride. Just ask anyone at Abrazo and they'll tell you, "It's not if, but when." If it's the openness and the communication with birthfamilies you're worried about let me asure you that it is the most wonderful thing. We have a beautiful relationship with our son's birthmother and consider her a very blessed part of our family, not a threat. And by the way, Abrazo does a beautiful job of educating adoptive families about open adoption. It really is a blessing for all involved, adoptive parents, birthparents and the child. With that being said it really is a personal choice. I think it's good to ask for advice/opinions from others. Hearing from those that have been there-done sometimes gives us perspective. Good luck on your journey to parenthood! The ride may be bumpy, but the rewards are SWEET!

Conratulations Enza, Brad and Julia Grace!!!!! Even though I don't know you I am sooooo happy for you. Dreams do come true! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Many more blessings to you and your precious baby girl in 2003. Dana

I truly believe in the power of prayer and that God answers all prayers. When I am facing challenges or I'm worried about something this is a scripture that brings me peace and strengthens my faith that all things are possible through Christ if we turn our concerns over to Him. Phillippians 4:4-7 Always be full of joy in the Lord; I say it again, rejoice! Let everyone see that you are unselfish and considerate in all you do. Remember that the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.

Our journey began with the never-ending infertility tests and treatments that never worked for us. And like Lisa, looking back now we wonder why on earth we went to such lengths to try to have a biological child when adoption was staring us in the face. Anyways, while we were going through testing and treatments my mom was traveling a lot for work. One night she came home from Dallas and said I've got a card for you. While on the plane she met this wonderful lady who was traveling alone with a baby and all this baby stuff. My mom being the talker that she is (we tease she can learn a stranger's life story in 10 minutes flat) started a conversation and found out this woman was not a "mommy" but was the coordinator of an adoption agency. Yes, Abrazo's very own Elizabeth! Well, my mom took her card and brought it home to me knowing how much my husband and I wanted a family. Sounds like fate, right? Well, at that time we still had hope of conceiving so I thanked my mom and put the card away in my desk. A year or so later after another attempt to get pregnant that turned out negative we decided that's it. We're done. This was in April of 1998. We enjoyed the summer, got back on our feet and started thinking about adoption seriously. Around September I started contacting agencies in our area (SanAntonio, Tx.). I got tons of information and after weeding through it we decided to start with looking into the state's Foster/Adoption program. We sat through half of their orientation meeting and at the break we left. This obviously was not for us. So then we registered for another agencies orientation (one that was reccommended by friends that had successfully adopted through). We left their orientation thinking we may never have children. We would be one of 80 families waiting to adopt. About that time I remembered the card my mom had given me and thought why not? So I called Abrazo, received their preliminary packet and filled it out and returned it. A few days later I get a phone call from someone from Abrazo encouraging us to get our application that we had just received in the mail turned in. Now we didn't even know if we were going to go forward or not, so I was very hesitant. But, later that evening I got a phone call from Elizabeth. She was so kind and encouraging and I was totally impressed that she had taken the time to call me at home in the evening. This was the beginning of November 1998 and she wanted us to fill out that 20 page application and return it so we could attend orientation the following weekend. I kept telling her we would just wait until the January orientation. And I will never forget what she said. She told us we could have a baby by then. I didn't really believe her, but the idea of it even being possible was just too good to say no. So I stayed up late all week getting the ap done and taking pictures and sent it in and we went to orientation November 14-16th. We were so touched by the whole weekend. We just knew we had finally found the answer to our prayers to build our family. Two weeks after orientation we talked to our son's birthmom for the first time. We were matched by Christmas and Jacob was born on May 3, 1999. Had we waited until January orientation we wouldn't have met our son's birthmom and we wouldn't have our perfect little boy! It was Elizabeth's optimism, encouragement and personal attention that brought us to Abrazo in 1998 and it was Elizabeth and her dedicated staff that brought us back for our second journey! God Bless you Abrazo Gals for all you do to bring families together!

Lisa- Thanks for mentioning the topic "The Day We Got the Call". I've been reading the forum for months and don't know how I missed that whole topic area before. It was very uplifting and inspired me to share our first adoption story. You've been a great source of information, encouragement, and inspiration for all of us in "Forum Land". Thank you for sharing your stories and for the great topics you've provided for others. Dana

Congratulations to the proud new parents of the New Year's Eve blessing! What a fantastic way to start off 2003! Sounds like you've had a challenging year to achieve your dreams and I'm sure it was worth the wait. As a parents-in-waiting couple who has faced some challenges and disappointments of our own in the past 7 months we'd love to hear your story. Give us and some other parents-in-waiting some encouragement for 2003. Congratulations again! And best wishes for a sleepless, but happy year....years to come! Keeping the faith, Dana

Congratulations Docs, from your Dream Team '02 Texas friends! We're sure this must be the best Christmas present you've ever received. Dreams do come true!!! Send some good luck our way! Best wishes for a speedy interstate compact and let us know if you need a place to celebrate Christmas. We're just miles down the road. Congrats again! Dana & Glenn

What a great topic. Right after our son was born and we brought him home we thought no way are we doing that again. It wasn't that we had a bad adoption experience. In fact it was just the opposite. We met a wonderful birthmom that we fell in love with. She allowed us to be a part of her pregnancy and the birth of our son. We built a beautiful relationship with her and never quite expected to be so attached to her. We never expected to feel guilty for taking that precious baby from her, even though it's what she wanted and it was our lifelong dream. We were happy for us, but sad for her loss. We thought we have this beautiful perfect son, what more could we want? And we were afraid we'd never find another birthmom like ******. However, it wasn't long and we began thinking we always wanted 3 children, Jacob needs a brother or sister, why stop with one, we've got plenty of love to give... So we started to give it some serious thought. Jacob turned 3 in May and we thought it would be the perfect time to begin another adoption journey. This trip has been a MUCH BUMPIER ride than the first. We have talked to several birthmoms, matched with one who decided to parent in the end, and we are currently waiting to meet the "right one". At this point we are once again saying "Never again if we survive this one", but who knows...maybe in a couple of years we'll be back for number 3.

A big Texas congratulations to our Dream Team '02 Tennessee friends who've just matched with their incredible birthfamily. We are thrilled for you. Now go get that nursery ready!!! We are still waiting for our miracle match! Best wishes to all of you out there waiting to meet your precious angel.