mummyx2

Melissa, I too had that experience. As a matter of fact, I was given a book written on that exact topic which stated that the reason we were not blessed with children was because we had unforgiven sexual sins in our past and God was punishing us. My other all time favorite was the elderly woman at church who brought a magazine article to us to encourage my husband to eat more peas!! pkk

Sabrina, your new picture is absolutely adorable!!!! Nice job. I liked the articles you posted. Tom and I are a great "tag team" with our children and I have often marveled at the challenge faced by single parents, namely moms. I really liked what Carrie wrote. It makes me feel like Martha, Karen, and Jean.....we not bad just busy. I am actually contemplating hiring a high school student as a "personal assistant" to do some of the things on my "forever-too-long" to do list so I have more time with the children and maybe a little time for me too. pkk

Martha, We believe very strongly in early childhood education. Nathan has been attending "cradle roll" class weekly since he was 5 months old. Mary Alice has attended pretty much since placement. It does not amaze me that they are listening and learning. Their hearts are open and their spirits are unencumbered with the toil of daily living that adults have to deal with. I am so happy that my son is learning to know and love Jesus Christ. He prays, recites Bible verses, and sings songs. We talk. Mary Alice is exposed to the same as Nathan and she is watching and listening. Many times it seems easier to stay home and relax but I would not compromise this wonderful early opportunity to give my children the greatest gift of all. pkk

The grilled cheese option is popular in our house. We have this great electrical kitchen gaget for grilling sandwiches...does both sides at the same time. We generally use cheddar cheese but like the jack, colby, or mozarella options or combinations also. Adding anything else sometimes raises the suspicions of our toddler though. Here's another quick idea. cook up some potatoes in the microwave. Steam up some veges in the microwave. Then create a sourcream/butter mixture with chopped-up veges and mix it into the baked potatoe for a semi-baked-semi mashed potatoe dish. Instead of sourcream you can also use cottage cheese. Quick and easy and my two love it. pkk

On the simple meal thread, it is so great that infants and toddlers like simple foods. In our "DINK" days, Tom and I were great gourmet chefs and we cooked a multi-cultural food fare that would make Julia hungry and even Emeril want to stop by for dinner. We are so over that right now and so greatful for their simple palates. So I thought I'd share a couple of easy options. 1. cottage cheese - Nathan and Mary Alice both love it and eat it up. Combined with some fruit and whole wheat toast works great. 2. peanut butter - wholesome protein and multiple ways to offer it 3. vege pizza - most pizza shops will make it and Nathan is less likely to pick off bits of veges he eyes with suspicion if you have them chop the veges fine and imbed them in the cheese. 4. vegetable lasagne - I make two batches on Sunday. We have one Sunday night and the extra one goes in the freezer for some other time. 5. haystacks - a layer of corn chips, a layer of beans (Bush's chili beans), a layer of shredded cheese, topped with chopped lettuce and tomatoes and olives, then some sour cream (if your toddler is too suspicious of this creation----break it apart and give him the individual components instead) 6. oh yes, cereal.....it's not just for breakfast you know!! anyone else have any other quick dinner ideas to share. I am always looking for a few. pkk

I am in total agreement with the dinner time philosophy. We always have dinner together as a family unless mummy and daddy have a date night, or on the rare occasion one of us has late night work commitments. We love dinner together. Nathan loves to say grace. We talk and laugh. Mary Alice is learning how to feed herself. We are teaching her sign language at the table. Nathan is learning how not to interrupt when someone else is talking. We share our day's experiences, sucesses, and regrets. And, we don't always have a "home made, cooked from scratch, slaved in the kitchen all day" - meal. Meals are very simple at times, grilled cheese sandwiches (on whole wheat), salad, and fruit; even some of the more healthy frozen dinners are a great option; and leftovers are just fine too. Yes, it would be nice to always have the time to cook fresh meals but rather than lamenting the obvious, we just do the best we can and enjoy every bite and every "together" moment. pkk

Sabrina, I echo what Sherri is saying. I find parenting all consuming, and I have a very supportive and helpful husband. As a matter of fact, I was in Nashville for three days last week and Tom did wonderfully all by himself with the children. It takes both of us, all our time, all our energy. I feel overwhelmed and harried many days and I have a live-in support system!!! I admire your commitment to parenting as a single parent. I have no idea how hard it must be for you. I see single parents all the time and I am amazed at how they are able to manage alone. I wonder if your needs aren't more related to the situation of single-parenthood as opposed to being a single adoptive mother? Parenting is parenting, and although the adoption process by which we all became parents is over, the situation of being "adoptive parents" never changes. Yet, we all likely share more "parenting challenges" with each other and with biological parents than we do "adoption challenges". just a thought pkk

Teresa, that was a wonderful testimony of love, faith, and trust. We are so happy that you found each other. God bless you, your children, and your extended family. pkk

Mandj, don't feel like a dork!! we didn't do anything until after our orientation weekend and it worked out wonderfully for us. As a result of attending orientation and waiting to start all the processes, we were able to start with knowledge under our belts and a positive and hopeful attitude instead of a harried-worried-uncertainity. We knew what we were suppose to do and exactly how to proceed (of course, you can always call the gals at Abrazo for those moments when you have a little brain fart!!) As a result: We attended August 2002 orientation - Los Neuvos Abrazos- and took our darling Nathan home two days after Thanksgiving 2002. We attended May 2004 orientation- Tremendous Ten-and took home our precious babydoll Mary Alice at the end of October 2004. good luck and enjoy yourselves (worry is so counter-productive pkk

Like my 2 and 1/2 year old says....."mummy, is it someday yet" pkk

Elizabeth and the rest of the Forum Family, I want to let you know just how happy and blessed we are to have open relationships with both our birthfamilies and how I now envision (thanx to Mary's talk at camp) just how important and precious are those sibling relationships. We have had the pleasure of seeing Nathan's birthfamily on a regular basis, sometimes as many as three times a year. Nathan and his birthsibling Leila have always just sort of "eyed" each other, as is typical of infants and young toddlers. I can not tell you how much fun it was to watch these two at Camp Abrazo last weekend. For the first time, Nathan and Leila played together, got into mischief together, and generally had a great time with each other. I cherish the future opportunities that these two will have in getting to know each other and I am very grateful that we have Nathan's birthparents who believe this is important as well. We also had our first meeting with Mary Alice's birthsibling Kaison. He, being just two years old, did not have much interest in a 10 month old infant sister. He was more interested in the other toddlers present. I know, if we continue our planned life-long relationship with her birthfamily, Mary Alice will also know her birthsibling. Thank you for your commitment to help adoptive families "keep the connection". I know that everyone involved will benefit and that our children will be blessed. pkk

The good ole' yellow pages lead us to Abrazo! pkk

Congrats WindyCity, Wow 15 months apart.....ours are 21 1/2 months apart and that was a challenge. When big brother figures out she is staying....watch out.....life will get very interesting!!! Mary Alice is just about 10 months old and Nathan (2 1/2 years old) is finally learning how to play "gentle" with her. let us know how it goes enjoy yourselves pkk

Dear Forumites, I need your prayers for personal guidance and for the ability to discern the Lord's will in my life as I contemplate a much needed career move and a lifestyle management change. I need courage and faith as I move forward. I appreciate your spiritual support. thanx pkk

Karen, it may be that this Abrazo reunion weekend will bring together our two birthmoms. The plan is for both of them to join us, and bring their other children as well. We are certainly excited about it and curious to see how it all works out. I'll let you know how it goes. pkk

Melissa, good for you guys....go for it!!! Butterflies and all, you will be glad you did!! pkk

Elaine, I don't want to excuse your inlaws bad behavior with my comments. I had a thought while reading your heartfelt post. Did you ever consider that they might be grieving the loss of biological grandchildren? I had perceived this exact emotional loss in my own loving parents (thankfully, they were not rude or condeming in their behavior and were very concerned that their feelings not be perceived as criticism of our plans)......Or that they may have fears for you and for themselves that they don't know how to deal with? Afterall, the media has done a pretty good job of messing up a whole nation's perception of adoption!!! My words of advice for you.....in the interest of having a loving grandchild-grandparent relationship I would recommend that you address this directly with them. Write down your hurt feelings and then express these feelings, without finger-pointing, and explore with them what are their real emotional feelings. I think a formal opportunity to clear the air is what you all need. You may be very glad you did. It may draw you all together. Another thought about forgiveness. If I do not know that I hurt you, how can I ask for your forgiveness. If your inlaws don't realize that their comments have been so very offensive, how can they possibly say they are sorry.....and how can you even forgive them if you don't give them a chance to say sorry. Give them a chance. just a thought pkk

For us doing the profile was the most challenging because it was what the birthfamily looked at!! talk about pressure. I always referred to the profile as our "marketing brochure"!!! You really want to be very relaxed and in a good frame of mind when you work on the profile. We left the profile to do as our very last requirement so we could ponder and reflect and play with it a bit. We did not take a copy of a profile to either orientation so don't worry about having to have it done. Take some pictures with you and maybe some thoughts on paper. Don't stress about it. At orientation spend your time reviewing all the samples Abrazo provides and take some notes. We did two completely different profiles and we are the proud parents of two beautiful children so we did something right. Our second birthmom said to us, after she reviewed our profile, "you sure look like you have a lot of fun". Make sure your profile represents you even if it is not the "ideal, perfect couple/family". Who cares about being perfect......just be yourselves and trust that there is a birthfamily looking out for someone just like you. pkk

Yeh!! I am so happy for you (and we know who you are)!!! Congratulations. I can feel your excitement. Please post a picture and let us know how everyone is doing. pkk

Angie, I suppose it depends on both your family tradition and your religious views. If you believe in infant baptism because you believe that the child will be eternally lost without baptism then you should likely not wait. Unless, there is a problem with the church records and the infant's official name. That question I don't know about. I suppose you would give the name that will eventually appear on the child's birth certificate. Not sure how that works. We don't believe in infant baptism so it wasn't a problem for us. We instead, had a child dedication ceremony (where the adults in the child's live promise to raise up the child with a knowledge of their Lord and Savior in preparation for their eventual acceptance of salvation and baptism) in our home and planned it for when our family members would be able to travel to south texas to be present. Whatever you do, make sure it is what you are most comfortable with. pkk

Great story, I too believe that there is wonderment in the friendships you develop along the way during your sea voyage. Somehow I expect these are more special that those developed by others who are "flying". pkk

Great topic, thanx Lisa From March of 1989 until Nov. 26th 2002 my journey wasn't necessarily a rollercoaster ride. It was more like a ocean vogage, sometimes the waters were calm and the wind very still and other times the sea was rather rough. I realized, early on that parenthood was the journey on which I wanted to embark and that pregnancy was just the most natural means of getting out of the port. So, of course, we were stuck in port for sometime!!! Our "psychological pregnancy" began in the spring of 2002 when we attended the Parents of Tomorrow orientation weekend. At that point I felt the wind and there was no looking back. The breeze kicked up and sailing since has been awesome. I try not to overanalyze this matter of "choices". In life we learn to accept what is presented. It is natural and of no consequence to have sought the easiest and most natural route to parenthood. Unless we have a strong social conscience that urges us to help prevent the world's overpopulation by not adding any additional souls, or we have genetic predispositions that we do not want to pass on, or we have serious medical conditions that prohibit us from getting pregnant, most of us will opt for what, at first glance, appears to be the easiest route. pkk

We have been very fortunate with our first birthfamily. When Nathan's birthmom and sister came to stay with us for four days in order to be present for Nathan's second birthday party at the end of November, Mary Alice had been with us for a month. She was just as excited to see the baby, hold her, and get to know her as I expect any other member of my family would have been. She brought presents for both Nathan and Mary Alice. When Nathan's birthfather paid us a visit earlier this year, he brought presents for both children and we shared stories about our infant daughters as he had just become the father of twin girls as well. We are truly blessed. Our birthparents are excited that Nathan is a "big brother" and they are always interested in knowing how he is doing with Mary Alice. pkk