Jada

I must say as a "Birth Woman" I find this very disturbing. If you call this stuff positive adoption language it is positive toward adoptive families only and very negative towards "birth parents" or first parents. First off if anybody refers to me as a "Birth Woman" I may have to literally slap them. Sorry but that's how infuriated I was when I read that. Gee this is grandma and Grandpa,and Aunt Milly and by the way this is our "BIRTH WOMAN". Are you serious? To even tell somebody else to refer to us as that is down right degrading and makes me feel like I should crawl under a rock. And to say that a reunion is not a reuinion is something I don't understand. No matter if you want to accept it or not it is a REUNION. We were however briefly with our children and loved them. It is just like a family reunion. We love them and they are still a part of our family weather adoptive parents want to aknowledge it or not. And to say they are "making contact" what is that?? Please, are we aliens? You make contact with aliens not family members. his is one of the WORST pieces I ahve ever read as far as using positive adoption language. if this is what positive adoption language is coming to no wonder first parents are looked down upon so much still.

That's funny!! I just assumed everybody knew he was gay. Sorry for the shock!! And I may need to clear up something,I don't actually know if they are adopting. After re reading the article it just says they are "expecting" twins. So maybe somebody they know has been artificially inseminated or something of that nature. Not sure. Either way, congrats to them.

Just read that Neil Patrick Harris( Doogie Howser, How I Met Your Mother) and long time partner David Burtka are expected to adopt twins this fall!!!

I love that you have 4 dogs. I'm glad I'm not the only one with "lots" of animals. I have 2 dogs although I'm not too worried about the 3 pound pomeranian,4 cats,1 parrot and 3 ducks. Hopefully our Social Worker likes animals ( a lot)

I haven't seen anything on this in awhile but I have a question. Keith and I are currently going through foster care to foster kids and to adopt eventually. My question is I have a dog(big 90 pound dog) that is old and and very temperamental. He acts like he is going to go through the door if somebody knocks etc... Also he will sometimes growl and act like he wants to eat you(pretty much just for show though)if somebody comes into the house he doesn't know. The thing is he is really a sweet and gentle dog,he has grown up with all my kids and my grandaughters etc... And if we invite you in and he has a few minutes to sit beside us(to see you arent going to hurt us etc...) and gets to warm up to you he is fine with you(adults,kids he has NO problems with). I am just wondering how this will look when we have our homestudy done etc...? He is 9 years old and I have had him since he was 6 weeks old and he is part of our family and getting rid of him is not an option. Do you think our caseworker will understand him needing to warm up to her a little bit before she can just go walking through the house? I am really afraid he is going to hurt our chances of getting approved. Anybody else out there with temperamental dogs that made it through the homestudy? Would it be ok to put him in the bedroom away from her while she is doing it? Although I would think she would want to see how he acts. But he really is fine after a few minutes,I just think his size and "bad attitude" gives people a bad impression at first. I always tell people he's not mean just misunderstood. LOL I know long post but this has really been worrying me.

I honestly think it depends on what state you are in. Some states have grandparent's rights but I don't know which ones. This is a question you may want to ask Abrazo personally for the correct answer.

Donna,I do not believe money is the only reason why people place their babies. Not at all.There are many women (and men) who place after thinking everything over and deciding parenting is not a good option for them at that time. And that is perfectly fine. But it seems that most people believe if you do not have money and can't give your child a life filled with lots of "stuff" and if you can find parent's who can then they are better off with the ones who have more money. Not all people think this way but many do.

Thank you Krital! And yes adoption is really that different with other agencies. Many,many first families are coerced into relinquishing their rights because everybody around them is telling them it's the right thing to do. Nobody tells them there are other options. And no not just abortion. Just because one parent has more money does not make them better or more fit. And exiled is exactly how I felt and sometimes do still feel. And in my opinion in almost all situations(notice I say almost all) a child is better off with their first families. It may be harder on the first family and may make life harder in general or life different but that doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.it is still best for the child. No matter what. It is still best to stay with your first family whenever possible. People need to stop thinking that adoption is warm and fuzzy in the end. It's not and no matter what it always hurts,even to the few who made the choice with knowing all the options and no coercion. It still hurts.Adoption is a business.Abrazo is one of the very few who try to make it a little better. It is honestly very rare. This article made a lot of sense to me and I actually think it is a good thing. I can see where adoptive parent's would be angry but again it is something they need to see. These are "real live feelings and thoughts of MANY people. Most of these coming from bastard nation who are ADOPTED children who feel like this. It's real and it's out there. It's not pretty,it's not sugar coated it's real.

Some insurance companies may not cover a child or maybe an adoptive family does not have the money to pay for medical bills of a special needs child. If you give birth to a child with special needs you have no choice(except for adoption etc...) but to take on any problems and bills that you may have. Adoption is different. I can totally understand a couple turning down a child if they do not believe they can handle the time, stress and money that some of these children need. I think this is a good way of insuring that children go to the home that they are truly meant to be with. If adoptive families had no choice some children and adoptive families may not be so happy and some children may end up suffering in the end.

Hi,welcome to the forum. I am a birthmom to two beautiful kids. Lindsay and Charlie who are now 14 (soon to be 15) and 16 years old. I am also a grandmother of 2 little girls Emma (1) and Bianca(3).They live in Germany with my oldest daughter. I understand so much about hearing the happy things on here and not so much about the loss. Although I can say I am one of the birthmother's on here who is definitely very open and honest about my feelings and my pain.Don't ever be afraid to share your loss and pain on the forum. The people here are great and they offer so much support. I have been on the forum for almost 8 years now and it has actually helped me get through some of the toughest times. Also my birthdaughter is on the forum and has a few posts. I hope you find comfort and healing by posting on the forum and I look forward to hearing your story. If you have any questions or just want to chat feel free to send me a message.

Oh,wow. I am so sorry for your loss Bridget. I will keep you in my prayers.

Wow, "what more could she want????" As a birthmom I find this really offensive. Let's see what more could she want??? How about as many options as possible for the baby she is carrying or that may already be born who she is trying to place? If she is not comfortable with the three that are available (even if every single one is open to her situation,) if she does not like them, does that mean she is being greedy and doesn't have the right to want more of a choice??? I just totally don't understand this totally insensitive comment.