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Everything posted by Jada

  1. I must say as a "Birth Woman" I find this very disturbing. If you call this stuff positive adoption language it is positive toward adoptive families only and very negative towards "birth parents" or first parents. First off if anybody refers to me as a "Birth Woman" I may have to literally slap them. Sorry but that's how infuriated I was when I read that. Gee this is grandma and Grandpa,and Aunt Milly and by the way this is our "BIRTH WOMAN". Are you serious? To even tell somebody else to refer to us as that is down right degrading and makes me feel like I should crawl under a rock. And to say
  2. That's funny!! I just assumed everybody knew he was gay. Sorry for the shock!! And I may need to clear up something,I don't actually know if they are adopting. After re reading the article it just says they are "expecting" twins. So maybe somebody they know has been artificially inseminated or something of that nature. Not sure. Either way, congrats to them.
  3. Just read that Neil Patrick Harris( Doogie Howser, How I Met Your Mother) and long time partner David Burtka are expected to adopt twins this fall!!!
  4. I love that you have 4 dogs. I'm glad I'm not the only one with "lots" of animals. I have 2 dogs although I'm not too worried about the 3 pound pomeranian,4 cats,1 parrot and 3 ducks. Hopefully our Social Worker likes animals ( a lot)
  5. I haven't seen anything on this in awhile but I have a question. Keith and I are currently going through foster care to foster kids and to adopt eventually. My question is I have a dog(big 90 pound dog) that is old and and very temperamental. He acts like he is going to go through the door if somebody knocks etc... Also he will sometimes growl and act like he wants to eat you(pretty much just for show though)if somebody comes into the house he doesn't know. The thing is he is really a sweet and gentle dog,he has grown up with all my kids and my grandaughters etc... And if we invite you in and
  6. I honestly think it depends on what state you are in. Some states have grandparent's rights but I don't know which ones. This is a question you may want to ask Abrazo personally for the correct answer.
  7. Donna,I do not believe money is the only reason why people place their babies. Not at all.There are many women (and men) who place after thinking everything over and deciding parenting is not a good option for them at that time. And that is perfectly fine. But it seems that most people believe if you do not have money and can't give your child a life filled with lots of "stuff" and if you can find parent's who can then they are better off with the ones who have more money. Not all people think this way but many do.
  8. Thank you Krital! And yes adoption is really that different with other agencies. Many,many first families are coerced into relinquishing their rights because everybody around them is telling them it's the right thing to do. Nobody tells them there are other options. And no not just abortion. Just because one parent has more money does not make them better or more fit. And exiled is exactly how I felt and sometimes do still feel. And in my opinion in almost all situations(notice I say almost all) a child is better off with their first families. It may be harder on the first family and may make
  9. Some insurance companies may not cover a child or maybe an adoptive family does not have the money to pay for medical bills of a special needs child. If you give birth to a child with special needs you have no choice(except for adoption etc...) but to take on any problems and bills that you may have. Adoption is different. I can totally understand a couple turning down a child if they do not believe they can handle the time, stress and money that some of these children need. I think this is a good way of insuring that children go to the home that they are truly meant to be with. If adoptive f
  10. Hi,welcome to the forum. I am a birthmom to two beautiful kids. Lindsay and Charlie who are now 14 (soon to be 15) and 16 years old. I am also a grandmother of 2 little girls Emma (1) and Bianca(3).They live in Germany with my oldest daughter. I understand so much about hearing the happy things on here and not so much about the loss. Although I can say I am one of the birthmother's on here who is definitely very open and honest about my feelings and my pain.Don't ever be afraid to share your loss and pain on the forum. The people here are great and they offer so much support. I have been o
  11. Oh,wow. I am so sorry for your loss Bridget. I will keep you in my prayers.
  12. Wow, "what more could she want????" As a birthmom I find this really offensive. Let's see what more could she want??? How about as many options as possible for the baby she is carrying or that may already be born who she is trying to place? If she is not comfortable with the three that are available (even if every single one is open to her situation,) if she does not like them, does that mean she is being greedy and doesn't have the right to want more of a choice??? I just totally don't understand this totally insensitive comment.
  13. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am praying for you and your family.
  14. Karen not to diminish your feelings or to say that you are not your daughter's mother because you most certainly are. I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way or offend anybody but,your post seems to hit me the wrong way. I understand completely you being upset at your co-workers comment. But to say "you" are the one who worries about your daughter every minute,"you" are the one nurturing the relationship with your daughter's birthmother etc...makes it sound like you think we as birth mothers or first mothers don't worry every minute about our children we placed. Now that I am in contact w
  15. Mine are my quotes at the bottom of my signature.I try to live by them every day!
  16. When Keith and I took our foster parenting classes I must say I was surprised at some of the people in the class. And everybody in the class PASSED!
  17. I tend to agree with Sabrina. I honestly do not believe just because you have two parents you will have more money and be better off. Of course in today's society the ideal situation is to have 2 married parents,who got married then had children and stay together happily ever after. Unfortunately that isn't always the case. I think children who do not have a mother and a father do poorly because society expects them to do poorly. That is all people hear...how bad it is to come from a single parent,how disadvantaged that child is,poor boy has no father etc... How can anyone do good hearing this
  18. I'm not sure what the answer is to this. I worked in a Women's Prison here in Indiana for 2 years and saw many women,have to sign their rights over. Many of our women came in pregnant and delivered while still incarcerated. It made me very sad. The only thing I can say about the prison I worked at was they had a program that allows the children to come into the prison for visits in a home like setting and spend time with their mother's. The mothers are taught how to care for their children and how to deal with them in stressful situations etc... As a matter of fact other prison's come to this
  19. Great list Elizabeth. I am still waiting for Lindsay to decide when it is the "right" time for contact with us. And she will be 14 in June. And I was told exactly what you said "we are waiting for her to tell us when she is ready". UGHHH!!! It was the same with Charlie. Apparently he was ready just afraid to say anything because he was caught snooping around looking for information and found letters and pictures of us. That is how he found out he had bio brothers and sisters. What a shock that must have been. And I would of hated to have been his mother and had to "explain"it all. Also Charli
  20. We only have 17 candles lit. And quite a few are about to go out.
  21. I grew up an only child and always longed for siblings. To the point of depression at times. Granted if I had siblings I would not have been as spoiled as I was when I was a kid(I pretty much got anything and everything I wanted) but I wouldn't have known the difference if I had siblings. My girls fight like cats and dogs but I have also seen the other side of them sitting up all night watching movies and eating junk food and just talking. I think my desire to have a large family has come from being an only child. As my kids get older and Elizabeth is married and will be leaving in a couple of
  22. Thank you for all the support. I would like to add that I DO have contact with Charlie now. It took 14 years but I finally have that. Like I said we are planning on a visit this summer.We were going to try for spring break but their(Charlie and Robin's) spring breaks are a week apart. Charlie and Robin talk like they were never apart. They have "BIG DREAMS" of moving to New York together after they graduate etc.... Of course it is just talk but it's talk that MOST brothers and sisters so close in age talk about(thery are only 14 months apart with Robin being older,Lindsay is 14 months younger
  23. I would never be bitter towards my kids. They actually have nothing to do with this and I know that. Charlie contacted ME first,so I know it can happen. But I need to realize that with Lindsay it will have to be the same. All my prodding and asking is probably just making her parents pull away even more. So I have to wait until the day she comes to me. Hopefully that will happen some day.
  24. I have done this own my own for years!!! Before the "never lose touch" letter was even around. My children are not babies,toddlers or even school aged. My kids are TEENAGERS. And Abrazo can attest that I have ALWAYS been here for them ALWAYS!!!! AND they can also attest that I have done my part for YEARS. Like I said I AM DONE!!!! I will send one more letter asking them to PLEASE let Charlie and Lindsay have contact. After that,it's up to them. I have sent pictures(which Lindsays mother keeps put up and doesn't show her). I send all of these through Abrazo. So yes I have done my part. I invit
  25. I got that response from both of my kids adoptive parents."They were waiting for them to ask about me". UGGHHH!!! Well instead of Charlie asking he went snooping and found out he had a brother and sisters he never new about. I can only imagine how he really feels about that. I am still waiting for contact with Lindsay. I wrote a letter to her parents two years ago asking for contact and they said"She is just so busy with her life we don't think she is ready,but I am sure it will happen within the next year or so...." Again UGHHHH!!!! Last year I recieved pictures with no mention of any conta
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