Steven&Melissa

Sending warm thoughts and huge congratulations your way, Kenny and Michelle!! Can't wait to see photos of this newest addition and Sophia as a doting big sister. Hope you're enjoying these wonderful first days.

Hi, Allie & Ross! So glad you're on the forum! There's so much to learn and I can completely understand about having questions answered that you didn't even know you had yet! I found myself thinking about issues I didn't even know existed when I first got on the forum a few months ago and it's been a tremendous help to us as we spend this pre-baby time educating ourselves and thinking about different scenarios. Can't wait to follow your journey, so keep updates coming and let us know if you have questions!

Have fun this weekend! You'll have to move on over to the application thread now instead of inquiry - you're past this step now!! That was FAST! 1 week? I think ours was almost 4 weeks to the day. What a great surprise!

Abrazo profiles are different than any other profiles we've seen at other adoption agencies. For our other agency, we used Shutterfly and that worked out great because we had to provide a hardcover/bound book for them to show to expectant parents at their office. At Abrazo, they'll want 10 color copies of your profile, not bound, just stapled. I am comfortable with PowerPoint, so that's what I used. I read that another couple on here used Word. I'm sure some others use Adobe Illustrator or some other multi-page layout program. Your call... but I say you use what you're good at laying things out in. If you love paper and glue and that feels good to you, I say you do what you love! I think it comes through in the final product. Concerning reference letters, Steven and I were just talking about what we did for these and he ran and grabbed the copies I made of what we submitted so that I was sure to tell you correctly! Okay... 3 non-related personal references who know you well as a couple/family - whomever that is who spends time with you both and can speak to that. They should be able to speak to both of you and refer you as suitable parents in an honest referral (no specific questions). ---- Here are another couple of things that I found mentioned beforehand scattered around the forum, so I'll list them here all in one spot!: doctor's letter stating infertility in no uncertain terms, "blueprint"/floor plan of your home (drawn is fine), photo of each room + exterior of your home, proof of insurance for yourselves + an adopted child valid at time of birth, copy of your tax return for the previous year or financial statement. The rest of it mostly involves copies of documents, signing paperwork, and answering questions. Reading on the forum/in books will mentally prepare you for the questions! I read tons on the forum and some in books - Steven didn't hang out on the forum much, but easily read twice the amount of books as me. All of that knowledge has become more and more important with every step of the journey! Hope this helps!

Hi, Amy! You're right - we're in Memphis. There's a huge group of us here, who I found under "United States of Adoption" on the forum when I first joined. It quickly got me connected with the families in my area and is a huge help during the journey! We were just recently in the same spot as you - trying to figure out how to be proactive while we waited to hear back from the inquiry and then the application. I wanted to go ahead and schedule my home study (ours was an update, though), too, but Elizabeth suggested we hold off since a home study is only good in TX for 6 months. By getting it completed too soon, you'll cut down on the time when it's valid and potentially spend un-needed money. We scheduled our home study (an update in our case) for 2 days after we'd return from orientation. That way, if something changed, we could just cancel and there was no harm. The ladies at Abrazo can most defintely give you the most sound advice for your particular situation, though. One thing I'd really suggest is getting started on your profile. I worked for over 2 months on ours and (with your orienation invitation), you'll receive samples from other couples. Photos are important and you can see other couple's 1st page on the gallery. Our total profile was 6 pages with a focus on photos more than text. We did ours digitally, but I know many families handmake theirs, too. Our 1st page should go up in the gallery sometime soon, hopefully! You can go ahead and ask for reference letters from friends, too. I believe 2 non-family references were required for both of us. This is the time to do lots of reading, too. We were lucky enough to borrow books from another family here in Memphis, but I know there are threads on the forum that give suggested reading. You can often find them on Amazon.com for low prices when they're used. And learn as much from the forum as you can, assess what you're comfortable with, and mentally prepare for your journey, too! Let me know if you have other questions and I'm happy to help!

Welcome, Amy and Craig!! You're right - the forum is a wonderful place and you'll find so much support AND learn so much before you reach orientation. There are so many people with so many different experiences to learn from, so it's awesome that you've jumped in! Good luck on every upcoming step! Can't wait to read your journey!!

It gives me chills to hear how touching this family's story is and what tremendous grief and happiness they'd experienced together. My heart goes out to this wife and children left behind after the death of their incredible father. They are certainly in my prayers.

I was chatting with my mom on the phone the other day and she was telling me about how friends and family keep asking for updates on how our adoption journey is going. So, just like we all do, she explains a little about what's happening. I think we're all shocked (why, though?) when we talk about adoption and someone says something baffling in their response. Typically, we either get defensive or hurt or angry... it's a range of some emotion like that. Well, I was especially proud of my mama because she said "So, I just took it as a chance to educate them. I mean, I remember when I didn't know nearly as much as I do now about adoption - especially open adoption - and my feelings have changed so much now that I'm more educated." I was so proud!

Welcome Bill and Tara! You'll find so much support here on the forum - and a bunch of other Memphis-area folks! My husband and I live in Memphis and there are a bunch of other families here from the area who have provided a ton of support. We just recently completed the application as well and just received an invitation to the orientation at the end of this month. We're happy to provide support to you as you jump each hurdle! This is such an exciting process and you'll meet some great friends here. Take a look around the forum and find the Homesteads section. Then look under United States of Adoption and locate the "MAMS" thread. That's where you'll find the other Memphis families! So glad you're here! Melissa

My sister and I are 9 years apart, so when she had her first child I was 12. My niece, Maddie, grew up more like a little sister to me than anything else and so my comfort level was always with raising a little girl. At this point in life, so many of our friends are having babies and everyone's having little boys and they're all so amazing! We've been blessed with extremely close friends-of-the-family who have 7 children - 4 boys, 3 girls. These boys have absolutely 100% stolen my heart. These days, when we get asked what we "prefer" - boy or girl - I can honestly say BOTH. Not one more than the other. They're both so special in their own ways that I hope we don't miss out on either!!!

Well, Mama (GrandMimi!), you can feel free to post away on the forum now that there's a little assurance! We'll be at the April 30-May 1 orientation, so I hope you get on here and lend your perspective (along with Sue now, too!) with an open heart every step of the way! I'm so happy that we BOTH have the support and resources here to work through the anxious times, gain empathy through personal experiences, and celebrate together during the exciting times! Steven and I both love you dearly!!

Karen - you, Evan, Emily, and Jessica are most definitely in my continued prayers. Although God's plan most certainly doesn't make sense sometimes, I hope that all of Shelley's loved ones feel peace and reassurance that she'll be looking over her dear friends and family from above. (((Hugs))) to you as you grieve for this tremendous loss.

I think it's saddest that she initially agreed to adopt this girl's baby but says the only reason she initially agreed was so that the girl would stop "freaking out." I'm sure she was "freaking out" when she realized what was really going on. Hopefully she realizes what a blessing it was to be matched with an agency - hopefully a reputable one - that will take good care of her. Also sad is that Tila has no time for an infant, but is in the midst of adopting a 2-year-old. I hate to think she doesn't realize what set of challenges that, too, will bring and that it will require a huge amount of understanding, attention, and dedication on her part - and time, too! All children require time!

There are a ton of us on here! I was so surprised at what a large network of Abrazo families there are in Memphis, but you'll come to see quite a few of us. I can't advocate enough for finding people on the forum who live in the same town... it's already been invaluable to us in so many ways!

Hi, Leigh! Welcome to the forum! We're pretty new here as well, but have found so much useful information under all of the various different topics. We live in Memphis, TN and weren't sure what social worker to use, so I found the Memphis support group here on the forum (under United States of Adoption thread) and asked that group directly. They were able to give me lots of good suggestions. Not sure if there's one for Austin or that area, but you should check and get to know other families in your town! Here's an old post that was made with a similar suggestion, plus a little more: Good luck! Melissa

Come on mom!

I'm happy to know this is here & lit a candle. Sometimes it's just nice to write a prayer out and take a second to reflect.

Congratulations! Baby Luke is beautiful!

Thanks for your guidance, Elizabeth! I've contacted our social worker and asked if we can reschedule after orientation. -Melissa