I post on another forum site for infertility....There is a thread on adoption and it was very heated after the below was posted. Changed the name for privacy but could not resist on how future adoptive parents REALLY think about their IDEAL situation. I fired back some lengthy posts about the below dialogue between Julie & "future AP family?".
What's your thoughts? Comments?
Julie, I can't speak from experience at this point, but I'll share why open adoption (if a domestic newborn situation) is the ONLY way we would consider adopting.
I would never want my child to grow up wondering all about his birth parents, building them up and creating a mystique about them because they know so little about them. I can imagine our child becoming a teenager and, during the inevitable stormy times of adolescence, wishing he had been raised by his birth mother. Instead, I would want him to know his birth mother so there's no mystery. I want him to know about that side of the family... because that's how I think of it... a side of the family. I can see the birth mother joining us for family celebrations, as she felt comfortable.
Of course, this is assuming my ideal situation would be the case... that the birth mother would be a good Christian girl from a good family, who just made a mistake. I wouldn't feel comfortable with an open adoption from, say, someone who was a chain-smoking bar hopper with a lot of "drama." That's the kind of birth mother I imagine would badmouth the adoptive family... I have a hard time imaging that sort of ill will if the birth mother were from a good Christian home