mbell Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Since we're currently talking about older children, I have a question. Somewhere I read (cannot remember where) that when adding to a family you shouldn't change the "rank" of the children already in that family. So that the first child remains eldest, etc. even if a non-infant child joins the family. What is the current thought on that in the SW field? Is this a generally accepted "rule of thumb"?. Does it apply to certain situations and not others? Is it totally off-base? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam & Beth Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Since we're currently talking about older children, I have a question. Somewhere I read (cannot remember where) that when adding to a family you shouldn't change the "rank" of the children already in that family. So that the first child remains eldest, etc. even if a non-infant child joins the family. What is the current thought on that in the SW field? Is this a generally accepted "rule of thumb"?. Does it apply to certain situations and not others? Is it totally off-base? Good question Mary Helen. I'm interested to see the professionals' responses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethAnn Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 I think what you're referring to is something called "disruption of the birth order", the wisdom of which depends on a variety of factors having to do with the needs of the children involved, the composition of the home, the skills of the parents, etc. Sometimes it's highly inadvisable; while in other circumstances, it's not a problem at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen&scott Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Which brings up another question...I have often wondered if any research has been done concerning an adoptee's birth order (biologically) and their placement order (through adoption), if it's different? What I've read on this subject (regarding biological birth order) has to do with certain traits that are common and different amongst first children (the oldest), middle children, the baby of the family, etc. Does adoption change birth order traits? Nature vs Nuture? (This is just a curiosity factor for me, not an adoption issue.) Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garden of Hope Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Interesting topic. I can't help but think of our precious Ventura family in NJ who took placement of an older child in June making their then oldest child into a youngest child. Seems to be working out nicely in their case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethAnn Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Want to learn more about birth order and its effect upon adoptive families? Here are some resources: Lois Melina: On Adopting "Out of Order" Adoptive Families: Birth Ordering Research: Influence of Ordinal Positioning Among Adopted Siblings We've Disrupted the Pecking Order By Adopting Older Kids: One Family's Experience Sibling Issues in Foster Care & Adoption One area in which I have heard of the disruption of birth order creating issues is when adoptees are reunited with their birthfamilies and in the course of that reunion displace the birth order of the children growing up within that home. (It's something to be aware of and sensitive to!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonycpa and Linda Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Interesting topic. I can't help but think of our precious Ventura family in NJ who took placement of an older child in June making their then oldest child into a youngest child. Seems to be working out nicely in their case. For us adopting an older child has worked out very well. Andrew just loves Ayanna as she loves him. You would think they have been brother and sister from the beginning. I knew a while back that Andrew would have loved a sibling and this was meant to be. We did not have any time to read about any studies or anything like that and just went with what felt right. Glad we did. Not that I am not for statistics but every situation is different. I have no question in my mind and heart this was and is the right situation for us. L- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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