Mommy2(again)

SMR, I can only imagine how hard all of this is for you. I hope that you are able to tell your mom and get that big weight off your shoulders. Speaking as a mom. I am sure your mom will be very sad. Sad because you are facing a really big step in your life and she knows that it is probably very scary and sad for you too. I hope all goes well and hope that you know you have many many pairs of ears here at the forum to listen to you. Good luck and you are in my thoughts. Jeannie

Good Luck. Please know that all of us are on your side. Jeannie

Zinnia, As you have probably noticed from all the others that have posted, we have all been in your shoes. Infertility and adoption is a major roller coaster. People are alway going to be insensitive to things that they really don't understand. It sometimes is hurtful, but as time goes by, you learn to shake it off. We adopted an awesome little dude through Abrazo almost 2 years ago. We were able to have one child through IVF, but all other attempts after his conception failed. Imagine the flack we got from others when we said we were adopting after having a biological child. The comments ranged from "he will always be different", "it is impossible to love someone elses child" etc etc.... We stayed focused and positive and I can assure you, when that little guy was placed in my arms for the first time it was the EXACT same feeling that I had when my older son was placed in my arms for the first time (minus the drowsiness of child birth). Both of our kids are the light of our lives and we would NOT change ONE SINGLE thing about them. Adoption is special in it's own right.... there are alot of things adoptive and birth families share that no others could ever fathom. Stay positive. If you and your husband are ready to share your lives with children it will happen. The people that you are hearing from are simply not adoption savvy yet. If you and your hubby decided to take this journey your friends and family will see that it is not as scary and forbodding as everyone thinks. Search the forum, there are many many posts from adoptive families that have vented about others insensitivites. You are not alone. Sometimes we share the "craziest" things others say to us. Try not to let it get you down. Sometimes you just have to laugh it off. If you make light of it, sometimes the person that has made the comment realizes that it was probably inappropriate and appolgizes. To share of my favorite Uh-oh's from a co-worker (who by the way has a PhD in Nursing) Our son is hispanic (we are anglo) she asked me if I was going to teach him to speak english. Since he was all of 4 weeks old when she said it, my reply was, "yes, to the best of my ability... but I may wait until he is a little older" Nearly 2 years later she still appologizes for saying it. Keep your chin up and know that you are always welcome to vent on this forum. Jeannie

Hi Cakemaker, I had "secondary" infertility, which means I had a biological child and then was unable to have any subsequent pregnancies. Abrazo was very welcoming and within 4 months of our orientation weekend we brought home the most beautiful baby boy ( of course, I am not biased at all ) I am sure if you make the call to Abrazo you will not regret it. Good Luck and take care, Jeannie

I found this topic and decided to revive it again since we have so many new forumites. We found Abrazo back in 1995 (I think). We had decided we wanted children and the infertility stuff just seen like a gigantic hurdle. We contacted Abrazo and they sent all their information on open adoption and the whole concept scared us to death... we backed away. 3 years later I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy via the wonders of medical magic. When they placed the little guy in my arms, I then understood how adoptions needed to be open. I thought to myself, "what if I were not in a place to be his mom.... could I place him in the care of others and not know where he was or how much I loved him?" 3 years later we contacted Abrazo again and attended an orientation weekend. 3 months later we were in the Abrazo offices to meet our new son. Our adoption did not start completely open, as our son's birthmom needed a couple of months before she was ready to talk and/or meet us. Over the last year and a half we have developed a friendship with our son's birthmom. In retrospect I would not have changed a thing. I think we needed to make that journey back to adoption. I can honestly say that when my son was placed in my arms in the offices of Abrazo, I had the same overwhelming feeling that I felt when they place my older son in my arms in the delivery room. My only regret is that I am not a few years younger... my two little boys have more energy than I do and at the end of the day I am ready for a nap and they are still blowing and going!!!!! Jeannie

Michelle and Jose, We, like some of the others, had contacted several agencies about adoption and also considered private adoption through an attorney. We attended Abrazo's orientation weekend and learned TONS about adoption and specifically open adoption. We attended the August 2001 orientation and we brought our son home in December of 2001. Our experience has been great. Regards, Jeannie