Welcome to the forum, Amy...and to our Abrazo family.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts...your point about the importance of both the"First Mother" and the "Adoptive Mother" remind me of this poem (Author Unknown)that I found when I first began on our journey to open adoption. In part it reads,
...Two different lives, shaped to make one...
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
...Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither.
Just two different kinds of love.
Like some of my First Grade students say, "ALIKE...but just different!"
Keep us posted...we are all in this together!