karen&scott

Wow!!!! Amazing Video!! So much love in these glimpses of "who" make adoptions happen. Hugs to "all". Karen

The picture is beautiful. Baby Charlie has a halo of love surrounding him. What a Blessing! Karen

A warm welcome to Jim and Laura AND Beth and Jim! Best of luck as you explore all your options. Karen

Elizabeth, I could not get link to open. Would like to read this though. Karen

Warm and cozy hugs to a little guy who has found home, thanks to all the parents who love him. Karen

I heard about a special Grandparent to be, who has shared her homecooking with an expectant Mom in Austin. How thoughtful (and Yummy)! Karen

Blessings to all. The sunset was especially beautiful this evening. Karen

Dale, I just love your posts, and this is another thought out one as well. You make some very good points. You're right, we hear comments all the time, that we can choose to take either way. I do think the grief work and loss that many experience through infertility, pave the transition to adoption, especially open adoption. Possibly gifting us with a greater understanding of the losses which are borne in adoption too. (I know for me, it did.) But I suppose it should not be an absolute prerequisite to adopting, because every situation is personal. In fact, most life experiences gift us with better understanding and compassion (I believe). Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for your post. Karen

This was too soon. They had plans to meet this summer. Heartbreaking. Keeping all of Adrian's family(s) in my prayers. Karen

The only thing I can add here is, most of us have been through alot of pain through/with infertility before (and even after) we came to adoption. Our infertility paved the way to adopting and being accepted by an agency, and ultimately becoming the family we are today. Different paths, yet just as fulfilling to the parents we are today. So maybe it comes across as Plan B, we failed at conceiving but are successful at adopting. For me, it's how our family was mean't to be...yet could not fully explore/embrace this option until we journeyed to it. But to trivialize that "adopting" is an option for anyone, for any reason...is an insult to my family. I do think that celebrities tend to think that adoption is always an option for them. And maybe it is? Karen

Oh no, this is shocking. I am so sorry for your and Emily's loss. Do you have contact with your birthdaughter's family? Are you able to reach out to one another in this time of overwhelming grief? Again I am so sorry to hear this news. All are in my prayers. Karen

Just a little encouragement for GrandMimi... I'll be excitedly looking for your first post! Don't be shy, we'd love for you to join in anywhere you feel comfortable. The first post is always the hardest and then it get's easy. There are lots of friends here. Karen

I wish I could answer your question officially, but unofficially I feel like it should not matter. It saddens me to read a post like yours because of all the hoops adoptors (think) they have to jump through to be able to adopt. Hopefully though, renting or owning your home is not one of them. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong. More importantly it should be your ability to make sound financial decisions and to make sure your home is safe and conducive to parenting. Best of luck to you (and your move)! Karen

Thankful blessings for two first families and two tiny infants who are now surrounded by the love of an expanded family through adoption. Karen

I was at my daughters school yesterday having lunch. I ran into another Mom, who is pregnant, due in December. I know this lady pretty well and really like her. Our children are in the same class and good friends. I know how long she's been trying to have a second child. Her first is 8 years old, so they've had lots of years of patience and praying. I secretly always thought they would be a great adopting family. But God had another plan for them, another home grown miracle. I told her how glad I was that God had answered their prayers and how I know it's been a long road for them and then I boldly told her my secret. She thanked me and said, my husband is not open to adoption, all the kids he knew growing up who were adopted were the type that ran over the cat with a lawnmower. After I picked up my jaw, I was glad we do not have a cat or a lawnmower. Anyway, I have thought and thought about our conversation. I felt insulted when she first said it because is that how she sees my child? I know she did not mean anything personally because she really is a nice person, in spite of what she said so casually. So I wonder how our childhood experiences with peers who were once adopted affect our attitude toward adoption and/or wanting to adopt (or not) as an adult? Growing up, my best friend was adopted. I heard all the secret questions/fantasies about her adoption she could not talk to her Mom about. I felt her intense curiousity about her birthfamily. Her parents were a little different but wasn't everyone's. Basically she was just a normal friend with normal parents. She never ran over the cat with a lawnmower. So my childhood experience with learning about adoption was fairly positive. Does anyone have other circumstances as a child which has possibly affected your attitude/expectations towards adoption? Karen

Yay Dyna and family! Paula? Natalie? I can't wait to see which Againers will be in this group. How exciting! Karen

Wow, sometimes it takes a village (and a God powered GPS). Congratulations Ric and Teresa! Karen

Susan, love this topic! Gosh, I could fill up pages of this thread with caring countless hours of work the Abrazo chicks put into making our adoptions happen. Believe me, they are there "for you" when the time comes. That's important for all parents in waiting to know and believe! I am somewhat privey to some of what's gone on this past weekend, the Abrazo chicks are making my head spin, covering South Texas, all for the love of what they do and the children and parents they bring together! Abrazo is like a well oiled machine that can speed up or slow down, depending on the needs of their clients. And this machine never stops, it's working 24 hours a day. Go Chicks! Karen

Kristal, I was hoping you'd come back to this topic. I encourage others to chime in!!!! This is an important discussion for all of us touched by adoption. Karen

I think its hard for you to hear of disgruntled adoptees for the same reason it is hard for me. Because someone very important to us was adopted and we played a huge role in making that happen. Its terrifying to think that maybe we did wrong by that person who we only wanted the very best for.

Thanks again Natalie, for sharing morning tea with me. I appreciate your honesty in saying how you feel. I value this conversation too. Let me clarify my comment about using natural parent interchangably with birth parent because my feeling is my children need to feel "natural-ness" even though they do not live with their first parents. The general public uses this language therefore I need to be able to use this term without it threatening who I am to my children. And it doesn't have to imply we are an un-natural family. Because my feeling is, it doesn't. But I've had lots of years to come to this realization. And that's not to say your opinion should be discounted because it's just as important as mine. I dont' know, maybe I'm way off base. There just has to be a way for everyone to have a label/term of endearment that's comfortable; honest and respectful of everyone in the triad. Karen

Thanks Natalie, I agee it's about the child, and it's also about significant people in the child's life who need to feel validated as "real parents" as positively as possible. By incorporating the term "nurtural parents" it does not add any negativity (as I see it), it is honest about the relationship. It is not the opposite of natural, they simply go hand in hand. Because most of us parents, by adoption or by birth, feel like we are natural and nurtural, so it's just a way to define the origins of the legal relationship. We can still feel both. One does not take away from the other. It's also another idea in trying to make birth certificate more inclusive, more honest, more open by including both, parents of origin (natural parents if you will) and nurtural parents. Let's keep talking because everyone's point of view is important! Karen