Ms. Ortega

It is so true that you need to take time and heal from unsuccessful fertility treatments. I think this is so important in being able to fully be ready for adoption. Some people say you never heal from it but I believe you do. You never forget of course, but you do heal. I no longer even think about having my own biological child. My whole focus is adoption and I am so ready and excited for it. I have met so many wonderful people in our adoption journey and I know that we are meant to be on this path in life. I don't know how long it will take but I'm ready when it does. Well, let's just say I'm ready for the challenge anyway .

Thanks Jenny, We're already on it. We've been checking our credit and nothing has showed up yet. The attorney and nun e-mailed me again this morning. I can't believe these people. I didn't open the e-mails, just deleted.

Thanks Susan. I still feel like an idiot though. At least I didn't get too far into it. We are taking our parenting PRIDE classes through the state in a couple of weeks and then we will be licensed. I think I'm going to stay with the state for now at least until we can find an American Agency we fit with . I'm still so very happy we found Abrazo even though we weren't a match for the full service program. I have learned alot here and enjoy reading the forum everyday.

Okay, I've decided not to pursue this any further. I could kick myself in the butt for pursiung this in the first place. I filled out the first inquiry that asked for indetifying information so now I am worried about that. Hopefully nothing bad will come of this. I should've asked for advice before I did anything. O'well, live and learn.

Wow, I just read the articles and they are terrifying. This is exactly what I'm afraid of. It probably is a scam because it sounds a little too good to be true. I knew this was the place to get advice from. I am still investigating and will keep you posted. Thanks again Elizabeth.

Thanks for the advice Elizabeth. We are proceeding with extreme caution. We have checked the order the nun is with and she is a member. We have checked the orphanage and it is legit as well as the law firm. I am not getting my hopes up but "yes", it would be great if this is for real. It's hard not to let my emotions play a part in this but I know that there are bad people in the world so we are making sure every stone is turned before we proceed with anything financial. Thank you so much for the articles. Please let me know if you have any other advice. It will be deeply appreciated.

I wasn't sure where to post this but figured this thread is the best bet. Well, as per Elizabeth's advice, I have been sending e-mails to friends and family about us wanting to adopt. I've been searching the internet as well. Well, I got en e-mail from a nun in South Africa about a baby she had for adoption. She's been raising the child since birth (Oct. 2007). The birtmother and father are both deceased. The father died in a plane crash and the mother died from cancer a month after the child was born. The father was from Central Africe and the mother was Belgian. The sister sent me pictures of the mother and son when he was born. The nun has legal custody of the baby and she promised the mother she'd find a good home for the child instead of putting him in an orphanage. She said she had a few families that were interested in adopting but that they couldn't promise to keep in contact with her throughout the child's life on how he is doing. I told her that I had no problem with that because I believe in open adoption. She told me the name of an attorney she is working with who does international adoptions. I researched the law firm and the attorney and they seem to be legit. The sister is being transferred to the Phillipines in a month and needs to find a home for the baby before she leaves. After going back and forth with e-mails, the lawyer has finally contacted me. My husband and I have talked this over at length and want to go forward. So, I want to know if anyone has ever gone through international adoption and if you have any advice on what we should expect so we know if things seem to be going the way they should. I am scared to be doing this without an American agency being involved but this is the way it's happened. My brother is an attorney here in the states and will be helping us but he says that it's kind of difficult because the laws in Africa are so different and he doesn't the law there. Are we getting in over our heads?????

I just sent out the e-mail. I also come from a very large hispanic family. Two of them are also labor and delivery nurses and many are teachers. I am very open with all of them about us wanting to adopt but many of them leave far away and may not even know anything. My husband is still pretty private about the whole thing though. Hopefully we'll hear from someone soon. Melissa

I've been thinking of sending out a mass e-mail to all of our friends and family. Most of them know that we are trying to adopt but may feel that we don't want to talk about it or may feel that they are being nosey if they ask about it. After reading your post, I am for sure going to send the e-mail. It can't hurt right. Plus, our baby may be waiting for us through someone we know. Wouldn't that be wonderful. Thanks for the post. It is very encouraging and came as a great time as my hopes and positive attitude are starting to dwindle. Melissa

I'm not sure I worded my previous post correctly. After reading it, the word "bought" just sounds so awful. I just meant that adoption should not be a payoff.

I'm so happy that Abrazo has such great ethics. You all seem to post things that I say all the time. We all want a child but we can't let these children just be bought. They need to know that they are wanted and that both their birth families and adoptive families want the best for them. It's nice to know that Abrazo truly has the child's best interests at heart. Melissa

Congratulations to both families.

I just can't seem to get this mother and child out of my mind. I'm praying for them both.

Good luck Erin and James. Don't look at it as starting back from the beginning. Just take it as a learning experience and know that this will get you one step closer to finding the agency that is right for you and one step closer to your child. I was a little upset when we were not accepted but I totally agree with you that the ladies of Abrazo have a tough job. We just have to keep trying. I won't give up till I have my child in my arms. My prayers are with you. Melissa

Hi Erin, I'm sorry that you weren't accepted into the program. I received my letter a few weeks ago letting us know the same news. We were not accepted because I did achieve a pregnancy through invitro even though I miscarried and I still have a frozen embryo. I talked to Angela and she told me that this was the reason they didn't consider us infertile. It was shocking news to me because all the doctors consider us infertile. We do not plan to use the frozen embryo and feel that adoption is what we are meant to do. So, I contacted my doctor and am waiting for a letter from him to send to Abrazo. Hopefully they will have a change of heart after they receive the letter. I felt all the things you did when we recieved the letter and am praying that things will work out. Good luck to you and please don't give up hope.

Congratulations to all of you! How exciting!!! Melissa

Welcome Erin and James. I hope you hear good news about your application. Keep us posted. Melissa

Yes, I am very excited to be on this journey. Thanks Andrea!

As a point of clarification, only the Milagros (full-service) program requires orientation attendance as a prerequisite (and this program is not an option for those who can get pregnant, since it's only open to those with documented inabilility to conceive.) So the good news is that you shouldn't have to wait on that May orientation, if you are accepted for either our designated or special needs placement programs. Get that application and send it back in, launch your homestudy, submit the information necessary to complete FBI/criminal/CANRIS checks, and you'll be off and running in no time! Good luck. We would fall under the Milagros program so unfortunately, we will have to wait for the orientation. We have started our homestudy already though and hopefully we'll have everything complete by the time we do go to orentation.

Melissa, I had the same question. I figured that there was probably no great answer for it. I also figured that with an orientation weekend this weekend the staff would probably be a bit busy!! Sorry, my last post was meant as a reply to Julie I actually called last week to talk to Angela but she was busy. She did call me back a few days later but I missed the call. I haven't called her back since I know that she's busy with orientation. I just keep checking the mail hoping for something from them. I guess I can wait a little longer. I saw that there is an orienation scheduled for May 16th. I think it was a current post anyway. Maybe we'll both get invited to that.

I actually called last week to talk to Angela but she was busy. She did call me back a few days later but I missed the call. I haven't called her back since I know that she's busy with orientation. I just keep checking the mail hoping for something from them. I guess I can wait a little longer. I saw that there is an orienation scheduled for May 16th. I think it was a current post anyway. Maybe we'll both get invited to that.

Thank you all for the welcome. As I read through the forum I am getting so excited. How long does it usually take to hear from Abrazo after the inital inquiry is sent in?

Hello everyone!!! My name is Melissa and my husband's name is Danny. We are from New Mexico. We have been together for 10 years now and have been married for 3 1/2 years. My husband is an elementary PE teacher and I am a business manager. We moved to NM from AZ 9 months ago to be closer to family. I was fortunate enough to keep my job and I now work from home. I go back to Phoenix for a week every 3 to 4 months. We started trying to have a child about a year after we were married. We knew we would have to use a fertility specialist since my husband is a paraplegic. He was hit by a drunk driver when he was 19. Our first round of invitro was unsuccessful but 3 months later I got pregnant with a frozen embryo transfer. Unfortunately, I miscarried at 9 weeks. I did another frozen transter 4 months later but it didn't work. So, 8 months later I did another IVF and hyperstimulated. I ended up in the hospital for a week but fortunately, they were able to harvest 3 embryos. So, the embryos were frozen and 4 months later 2 were transferred and I got pregnant. The pregnancy seemed to be going well until I went in for my first ultrasound at 19 weeks. The baby had anencephaly, which is a neural tube defect and there is no survival rate with this defect. I was given the choice to either induce or carry on with the pregnancy and go into labor naturally. In either case, the baby would not have survived outside of the womb. So, we decided to induce and after about 40 hours of labor, I delivered a baby boy. It was really tough but fortunately, we had a lot of family support. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. My husband and I had considered adoption from the get go but we wanted to try to have our own biological child first. We have one embryo left but we feel that adoption is what we are meant to do. It has been a long journey and this is where it led us. My cousin has a friend that adopted through abrazo and she is the one that sent us to abrazo.org. We sent in our inquiry 2 weeks ago and are hoping to hear from them soon. I read that there is an orientation this weekend and I wish we would have sent our inquiry sooner so we could have made it. San Antonio is about 8 hours away so it's not that far. I am so happy to be here and look forward to our journey. Melissa