DrMom

Great Advice! Interview pediatricians! Sometimes they aren't accepting any new patients and if your first choice isn't that is nice to know ahead of time. I also learned that some pediatricians only accept newborns, so you have to let them know that you are an adoptive mom with a new to you baby, and not someone who is just trying to change physicians. When I called the peditritian to make our first appointment - for the two week check up, I was told that the Dr was only taking newborns that were referred at the hospital. When I wailed in dismay, but she's adopted! I couldn't get a hospital referral because I wasn't in the hospital!" they checked with the doctor who was happy to have us.

Yep - MOST of the participants were NOT from Tennessee! So we met people from all over the country -- And KatieandKevsMom is right! You make good friends -- we are still in touch with each other, though not as often as we might like! Most importantly (I think) was the sense of hope the weekend gave us. Those of you who have worked with Abrazo already know their "it's not if (you will have a child0 but when" motto - and after that weekend I really believe we would someday be a family. Before that weekend, the hope had really gone out of me because so many things had not worked out -- but seeing the Abrazo gang and hearing what they had to say and talking with the other prospective parents renewed my faith -- and as I said above, we actually became a family rather quickly!

Hi all. Just thought I would add some thoughts to this discussion... The orientation weekend was one of the best things we ever did - even if I was VERY sick (bronchitis) that weekend! You get together with all the other prospective parents and when the weekend is over you have friends who are going through the same thing you are -- to talk to and comfort you (and pray for you) every step of the way. There is a small fee for the weekend's activities (don't know what it is now), but it was well worth it. The Abrazo family are great folks and the advice and assistance on putting together the "Dear Birthparents" letter and information is great. It really isn't possible, of course, to tell you exactly how long it will take to match with a birthmother.... when we went through the Parents of Tomorrow weekend, there were (I think) 11 couples, including 2 families who were "againers" (adopting a second child) -- all 11 of our families had matched by 11 months - and most of them had already taken placement and so they had their children in their arms by then. We were lucky to match very, very quickly - we were holding our newborn daughter exactly two weeks after the start of our weekend! (POT weekend started Friday, Feb 21 - we took placement (and started walking on air!) Friday, March 7)

We have a dear friend who used egg donation in combination with IVF. Although the child was conceived with his father's sperm - they viewed (view) the process as an adoption of sorts - only they took "placement" pre-natally. I am not sure what they plan to tell the child - although I do know they don't intend to try and keep this information from him.

I don't know who wrote this, but I found it several years ago. It touched my heart and I still think it is a wonderful story and I wanted to share it with all of you. Different Trips to the Same Place Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip. So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait. Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat." "By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat. It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip. Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air. People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy." You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not the way you get there, but in the place itself.