LauralandCasey

it is only Sat. evening and his office echoes because there is nothing in it. Yeah! Tomorrow maybe he will fill all the holes in the wall and sand them. So all week I guess we will be painting in the evenings. We are painting it tan over maroon. so we will probably have to do a few coats of primer and tan paint. The boarder is a cowboy riding a horse, covered wagons, ect.It is real colorful. We have curtains and a toddler bed set, and a small area rug that matches it. Zachary already goes in there and makes a horse noise and sits or stands on his new rug. It is cute. Take Care. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Laural

It will be fine if we do not make it for the birth. I do want to try. I will have my bag packed and the baby's is already packed. We will just drop and go. Of course, we will need child care until my parents can get here to watch Zachary.Depending on when it is, one of us will have to leave work. We had a scare last weekend our prospective birthmother had been having a headache and she took her blood pressure at home and it was high. So they wanted her to come in for observation. I have all these visions of her going into labor at 32 weeks. One of the downfalls of being an NICU nurse you tend to think the worst. Anyway it was not elevated at the hospital so they did not keep her. So needless to say, I have tried to get my act together a little more this week. I bought a new crib, mattress,and diaper pail thing. I have been e-mailing my social worker like crazy and worrying about the ICPC. I have been working on two big work projects.One of which I hope to finish this weekend. then the other next weekend. My husband has gotten almost all of the crap out of his old office.Hopefully this weekend he can fill the holes and sand. Then we can paint the room next week. Then Zachary will have a new room.Then I can clean out Zachary's nursery and change things around a little. Once I get the dresser I am going to use in there moved in there then I can start filling it with the clothes from that season (Zachary's old clothes). We did not meet Zachary until he was 7 days so anything before that would be great. It would be nice to participate in whatever level of the hospital stay out prospective birthmother is comfortable with.Thanks for listening. Laural

Only 8 weeks till our prospective birthmother's due date. I am excited but have stuff I have to get done. I wonder if it is realistic to think we might be able to get there in time for the delivery. ususally we are in the Atlanta airport 2 hrs before the flight and then a 2 to 21/2 and then a 30 min. drive to the airport. So the quickest time would be 5 or 6 hours. what do ya think? Take care. Laural

Abrazo gave us our son Zachary as a B.O.G. only 3 weeks after our 1st orientation. How is that for service? Our second match came shortly after orientation as well. I think God is good. We are blessed with birthmothers who liked us for some reason. But Abrazo has been great and we would highly recommend using them. Open your hearts and minds to adoption, openess, and maybe even transracial adoption. Take Care. Laural

We only contacted Abrazo. We had a friend of a friend use Abrazo and have a good outcome. We initally were unsure about the openess but that changed after orientation. We are now back 2 years later as againers. Elizabeth, Do you have an agency you recommend to people who already have bio. children and want to adopt their second? I have people ask me and would like to know of one that they could use but also believes in the openess way of life. Take Care. Laural

Tina, I am glad you were wrapped in God's arms and kept safe. Laural

We are planning having an entrustment ceremony. Our birthmother looked at one I did from Elizabeth's 1st planning your own placement ceremony. I changed some of the words.I got one of my dad's (former minister) friends (former minister) who lives in Texas to do the ceremony. The chapel is small. I think most people who will come will be our birthmother's friends and family. She originally thought it was a "handing the baby over" ceremony. I told her to me it meant more than that. Blessing of the birth, birthmother, adoptive parents, and the relationship we all have. She probably will not be able to come to the baptism so I think it will be nice to do. I will let you know. I am letting her tell me when she wants to have it up to a week after the delivery.I think my husband may only get to be there that long.I think the hospital is going to let us use their chapel even if our birthmother is discharged already.take Care.Laural Has anyone else out there done a placement ceremony? What was your experience with it? Laural

Tina, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. This must be frustrating to have to deal with in church every week. I can not understand a church not getting the openness of open adoption. They need some education. It must be frustrating to feel like you have to do this but on some level it will eventually affect your child if you do not. Is the family not secure in the legality of their adoption, afraid of anything besides them taking their child away? I do not understand people who do not get that- more people to love you could be a bad thing? It is kind of like step families or blended families there are just more people to love. Take Care. Laural

Hi Tina and Jay, Well, I hope ya'll have a better housing market than we do in Atlanta. Where is Bartlett, Tn. anyway? I am originally from Nashville. Good luck on selling the house when you want. I will keep my fingers crossed for you for selling your house and your second adoption journey too. Take Care. Laural

I am also trying to change my corner of the world. My good friend is a single parent to a son she adopted from Guatemala. I am always trying to get her to mail a photo or e-mail it to the agency in Guatemala so the birthmother or foster mother(they have the children for 3 months) could see he is alive, healthy, and happy. I think that would be the hardest part of closed adoption- the not knowing on both sides. Take Care.LauralI am also trying to change my corner of the world. My good friend is a single parent to a son she adopted from Guatemala. I am always trying to get her to mail a photo or e-mail it to the agency in Guatemala so the birthmother or foster mother(they have the children for 3 months) could see he is alive, healthy, and happy. I think that would be the hardest part of closed adoption- the not knowing on both sides. Take Care.Laural

Hey Tina, Have you asked Jay yet? Hope you get to go to orientation sometime in early 2008. Take Care. Laural

Hey Melissa, That sound like fun and you can feel as if you are in labor and have to be police escorted 3 hours to the nearest hospital. You would have to enjoy the ride how often does one get a 3 hour police escort when they are not getting hauled away. That does sound like you a flair for the dramatic. Hope you get to do it sometime soon. Laural

I have a question. Our first match was a B.O.G. so I feel sort of like inexperienced in the whole birthparent hospital scene. I do have a little advantage over my husband in that I work in an NICU and am around the birth process all the time. Anyway how do you get to Texas on time to be there for the delivery? Our second match the birthmother has asked us to be there. I guess you just go by what her doctor is saying about how effaced and dilated she is in her appointments. Houston is an easier flight than San Antonio for us and we can go direct from Atlanta. Take Care. Laural

We matched with our 2nd birthmom and she is due on Zachary's birthday. So if she waits till her due date, they will be 2 years apart. Zachary relatively easy and we have enjoyed all of his ages- stages.I think it is probably in God's plan they not be any closer together. I will not kid myself Casey and I are not getting any younger. But it has been great fun and will continue to be. Thanks for listening. Laural,casey, and Zachary

Hi. My cousin who adopted two girls from Russia wrote me back and thanked me for the adoption magazine stuff. She said the girls are very open about their birthmom and talk about going to see if we can find her in the future.She said it will probably be in about 4 or 5 years. So I was encouraged that she did not make any negative comment and the card about their birthmother and their is hope for the future. maybe she will subscribe to adoptive families too. Take Care. Laural,Casey,and Zachary

Tina, Good luck with your second. We are going through it right now. We will be cheering you on. Take care. Laural, Casey,and Zachary

I thought I would include in my Christmas card to my cousin mentioned previously in this topic two things from Adoptive Families Magazine. Hopefully that would spark her interest, get her attention and maybe she would be interested in subscribing to the magazine and continue to get more ideas and information. "To some extent, your child's self esteem is tied to her concept of her birthparents, and to why they placed her for adoption." That was taken from Handling Tough Questions-When your child asks about pregnancy, birth families,and adoption. Then in Briefly Noted describing the book Families Change "When problems hurt kids, families need to change, so kids will be safe." "A child's family might change from a birth family to a grandparent family or a foster family or adoptive family." I will let you know if I get any response from her. Thanks for listening. Laural

I went to a family reunion this Thanksgiving. A cousin and her husband adopted two school age girls from Russia. I asked her to tell me when and how they decided to adopt. She said she did not want to have to deal with the birthparents. She also said that the girls did not have anything nice to say about their birthmother. I guess they were taken away from her. She could not provide or did not food, underwear, and locked them in. I do not suppose we will know the whole story. It kind of hurt my heart that my cousin would not encourage anything positive to be said about their birthmother. I think how can she relate to living in Russia? Poverty? I do not think she can. I did not try to tell her about our adoption and she did not ask me. Although apparently she did ask my husband how much it cost. I do think she should try to encourage the girls to think of some postive about their birthmother. It will help them in the long run. Maybe she did the best she can under her circumstances. Maybe this is comparing apples to oranges but I think it is good to recognize your roots. Laural

thanks Melissa. I am sure we will have to search for pictures of just Casey and I. the others probably have one of us and Zachary not the 3 of us either. I guess we have some work to do. Laural,Casey,and Zachary

Hi. We need to start working on our profile. Is it ok to have one page of pictures with the 3 of us?Melissa where did you find the thread about profiles? thanks. Laural,Casey,and Zachary

Hi. It took clicking on the thread to figure out what is there. duh. Anyway I just discovered how to do that. I tried the homework thread given earlier in this section and it did not work. So I guess I need more help finding out just what homework is. Thanks. My husband is better at computers than me.Thank goodness. Laural,Casey,and Zachary

Karen, I like your analogy. I try not to have any expectations because i am a nursery nurse and all those parents that write birthplans ineviatably end up being sick and needing to be in intermediate or Nicu nursery. We really do not have much experience with waiting or birthmother calls and orientation is an excuse to go to Texas and visit with Zachary's birthmother after orientation. Take Care.Thanks for your encouragement. Laural,Casey,and Zachary

Thanks for all the good thoughts. It is an exciting but a little scary to jump back on the adoption path. I guess as long as one has not a lot of set ideas and does not compare the second with the first then you might as well go for it. I think we are ready. I can not imagine life without Zachary. It will be nice to have another little one and a sister or brother for Zachary. Take Care. Laural,Casey,and Zachary

Thanks for the link. I am sure we will use it.There is a lot out there to read and do. I am not sure when we will find time with Zachary. I guess there is nap time. We just got our fingerprints done again and mailed them off for the GBI check. I am always afraid I am going to say footprints since I work in a nursery at a hospital and when I worked with the term newborns we used to do footprints all the time. I have said footprints to Casey(the husband) but I do not think I have said it to any of the Abrazo chicks. My husband just says the what? Take Care. Laural

8/27 Our first adoption we did not have a long wait at all. 3 weeks after orientation. So I have a stupid question. :huh:No, seriously what qualifies as homework. What is homework? We are hopefully going to schedule our orientation soon. Thanks. Laural,Casey,and Zachary