LauralandCasey

Dear Fabi and Paul, Hi. I have framed pictures of the boys birthmother's in my house either on the family wall in the hall or in their rooms. I also have their half brother's photos in their rooms. Our contact has changed but I continue to send monthly letters and pictures. So I guess the amount of contact from Zachary's birthmom has changed mostly. We've already started with Zachary reading adoption books to him. Mostly How I was Adopted by JOanna Cole. Another one we have is Did my First Mother Love me? a story for an adopted child. (I don't really like to refer to either of them as an adopted child rather they were adopted.( It shaped their past history and it is part of who they are but not a label) Don't know if that makes any sense. Anyway that book is by Kathryn Ann Miller. Making a life book with their story and telling it over and over helps. I want Casey to make a hard back picture book just for Zachary and Joshua with their stories. I guess I need to sit down with him or go through loose pictures and help him with it. I have two in my purse from one of those on line snap fish or co. like that. Hope this helped.Take care. Laural

I wonder if this adoptee is mad at how and when her adoption story was told to her. Did her adoptive parents keep in touch with the birthparents? Was it the closed manner that made it hurt so much? I don't think the anger can help her feel anything but so hopefully she can find some ways and persons to talk to and get the anger out of her system. I just think us infertile couples and adoptive parents are doing the best we can. I communicate with both our birthmother's whether or not I hear from them because it is good for our kids to keep that relationship open. I do it because I want to not because I have to. Laural

we have portraits of our boys birthmother's in our house. I just think my parents should know their names. I try to not say anything I think they would not want me to(their birthmoms) on the forum and definatately not all the details of their births. I respect details are private. Laural

My parents cannot remember our birthmother's first names. We are not socialite people with a million friends. This annoys me that they can not remember these important women in our lives and the lives of our children. Laural

Dear Elizabeth and Paul, Praying for you as you celebrate your dad's life but at the same time miss him terribly. Take Care. Love, Laural and Casey

We gave mamma C's 10 year old Sam's sister. He liked it.She thought it explained the situation exactly like it was happening. Laural

Hi. I was wondering if any of you grandparents have any advice. My parents are going to go to Joshua's finalization. The have not been around Mama C (Joshua's birthmother). We may spend the weekend in a large cabin after that with her and my parents. They read some adoption books with my first child but I am not sure if they understand the openess so much.Any advice on how to ease the transition? My older child 21/2 will be there too so maybe we'll just have our hands too full to worry about it. Thanks Laural They both love our boys to death so that part is not an issue.

Zachary was so cute at Joshua's baptism. He lasted about 1/2 of the service. He would imitate the choir. He took a prayer card and held it in front of his face to act like he was holding a book and singing. He went to his first children's sermon. My niece took him up there with her. My dad did the service and wore a Kente cloth robe to remind the children of my dad's dad who served 20years as a missionary in the Belgian Congo now Congo. He did the service that was responsive and the congregation did not do great following him but I guess we will print it out and send it with the copy of the video we send to Joshua's birthmom. Laural

Thanks for the advice and also I have another question for you. How did you get a lillypad for both kids. Ours keeps saying it is too big even when we use the minature lillypads. I would like both boys to have one. Laural

I was thinking about putting Joshua and Zachary in the same room at some point down the road. I know they will eventually want separate rooms when they are older. But when is a good time? Zachary is 2yrs and 5 months and Joshua 5 months. When Joshua is 2? Any experienced mom's or dad's of 2 have an opinion? Laural

Zachary has three toothbrushes and the same amont of different paste to choose from. I guess just letting him choose what he can is good.Some days are better than others as far as his melt downs.Thanks for the advice. I also let him shake Joshua's bottles to mix the formula.He starts preschool soon so we'll see how that transition goes.I think I will let him choose his clothes for school out of two sets just hide the stuff he's not supposed to wear. Laural

Zachary has chosen to regress due to his new brother. 2 year old meltdowns.It seems to be a delayed reaction. Mostly not using words to say what he wants to eat ect.Any advice from those who adopted close in age?I realize this too shall pass. Laural

Congratulations on Nathan's baptism. It sounds like it was fun. The poem is also very neat. It is nice to have people so talented share in our joy. Thanks for sharing it with us. Take Care. Laural

On the forum I usually refer to birthmom's prior to a placement as prospective or birthmom to be. But if you are matched and after just ask her what she would like to be called. Zachary's birthmom likes him to call her by her first name. Joshua's birthmom likes us to call her and eventually him Mama C. Laural

thanks Natalie, I guess figuring out what our two year old wants is a challenge as well. Nap(3 hours) or none at all? What exactly would you like to eat. And he is a good eater. Joshua is 2 months and Zahary just turned 2 April 21. They like each other. It is fun to watch them interact. I am looking forward to Zachary starting preschool and one day a week Joshua will go to mother's morning out in the fall. Then I will have one child for 9 hours a week. Although that means Zachary is growing up. I didn't put Zachary in mother's morning out but that will allow me to have some one on one time with Zachary. Joshua will be 5 months old by then too. Thanks for your advice. Laural