Oh Mari,
I am so sorry that you are struggling so much with this. I have been reading your story and I am so appreciative of the time, energy, and emotion you have spent to enlighten us on the journey you and your daughter were/are on. I appreciate that you don't gloss over the details, even when they're difficult for you to write about. You are a very valuable member of our Forum.
I checked out your album and your foil looks like Mary to me , I don't think you're nuts. . . .(I'm a fellow Catholic [though not a very sign-y one ] ). May you be comforted. Take the time you need, and whenever you are able to write your next installments you will have a waiting, supportive audience. I hope that it's soon for your sake so that you will feel at peace and are able to get a good night's sleep. I think you are an amazing woman and mom!