Well i will get to this in my story but i dont mind answering now.
I found out i was pregnant (not a shocker since i had neglected protection like a dummy) while i was with my then fiance.We had been friends for several months but only been dating for a little over a month.He was getting ready to deploy and decided he wanted me to plan my future with him.Then i found out i was pregnant-i had food poisoning and he made me take an at home test in defense of his favorite restaurant poisoning me-I started crying when i saw the cross pop up before i could even flush the toilet,this was not what i needed right now.I had no money,no car,no job...nothing i had nothing but this beautiful man in front of me who was leaving for war in a month.Then i cried more when he was so excited-i knew the chances of me having conceived before we got together was large.I have a bad habit of using sex as therapy and the month before he and i made it official i had been doing just that.But i couldnt say it out loud as he started planning a job when he got home (he gets out of the army upon his return from deployment) a home to buy near this new job,names-he even called his parents.I felt sick to my stomach.On one hand i was scared to let go and fall into this dream come true i would finally have the family i always wanted-But what if its not his?What then?
I went to a clinic in Kansas (i was at Fort Riley at this point with my little brother) that said they read your HGC levels or something adn they could tell me how far along i am for free......i wanted to know before he left for over seas........so i went and they said i was just a few weeks so i got excited i started planning names and everything else with Travis.I moved to TX with my sis n law and didnt really rush seeing a Dr i was barely pregnant right n biggie. Well we went to a christian pregnancy center to get my proof of pregnancy for medicaid and they did a normal ultrasound......i was 16 weeks!! omg this is not good.That means its not travis' and i have to tell him while he is at war.I didnt do or think about much with the baby for the next couple weeks and i didnt go get or see a doctor it was like my life paused waiting for him to call,i begged him to call i refused to tell him via facebook messenger.Then he did call and all i could do was cry i told him the baby wasnt his and i was certain and i was sorry,he just said ok.I asked what he wanted me to do?He said its your baby its your decision but im going home to Florida when i get back now the rest is on you.
So i was on my own for a few days i thought about toughing it out and being a single mom,but the overwhelming family support for an engaged to a soldier at war girl vanished when i became an ex convict single mom.I was kicked out of my sis n laws and my mom and i had been through this the summer before and i knew i couldnt live with her pregnant or with a baby-i had nowhere to go,no money...yeah back to nothing.I was 21 weeks and i had seen one obgyn who just took my blood and did an ultrasound.I felt detached already.I knew i couldnt take care of this baby but because of the whole Christopher thing i felt like if i admitted that i was admitting i couldnt be a mom-it was tough but easy if that makes sense.I had no doubt adoption was my option it was figuring out how to have an adoption like my friend tori's.And doing it all with no help because my mom refused to even acknowledge i was pregnant.Then i found Abrazo and E&J(yall know the details lol) and it gets easier everyday,i have more peace and excitement about E&J raising Riley than i did about me and Travis im sure that sounds odd but its true.
So thats my side lol