txladybug85

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace and Nate I LOVE you guys and im so excited for yall precious baby Ariel cant wait to meet you!!! And CONGRATS GRANDMA SUNNYD

Monica i posted some links...ummm somewhere LOL.....ill have to find them!! i know i posted or im losing my mind hahaha

How sweet Mari! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! God Bless!

Hooorah!! welcome Xavier!!! congrats to everyone )

soooo im wondering if anyone has had a chance to look at the link to the parks i posted? I really think that the Palmetto park in Gonzalez is the best option since we are kinda half SA and half Houston and its half between lol im aiming for the last weekend in Feb...any feedback i have learned from the tennessee bunch that planning to a degree kind of early is the best bet so im trying LOL i really want this to become a regular thing like they have i think thats awesome for the kiddos and the families both AP and BP. So any assistance and feedback is greatly welcomed

Welcome baby Irie!!! May you have a blessed life knowing how very very loved and cherished you are by oh so many!! Can't wait to meet you one day hopefully at camp

awwwwwwwwwww beautiful!!!!! Not that im surprised at all!!! And im sure being related to you that they are just as beautiful on the inside

Yay Mari sounds like the perfect Birthday weekend!! So glad to hear it you deserve it cant wait for the pics!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mari!!!!! I truely hope its a Grrrreat Day for uou you so deserve it! Youre such an amazing selfless,giving inspirational woman! I am so proud to say i know you!

well im excited for BOTH of them LOL!!!

Ok so i think i should clarify....I am fully okay with being called his birthmom and would she have asked who his mom was i definitely would have answered Erin because she IS his mom.....It was more the whole what is the relationship that got us all reaching for a response i think...i know my mind was "well these are his parents and they adopted him from me." or maybe "we are all part of an open adoption that surrounds Riley,the baby." I dont know really i guess its something i hadnt expected nor thought of before so i figured since i am trying to keep my experiences and emotions as help for others i would see if others had thought about this or been through it maybe. And in using me as a learning experience i will add that you should also learn to be braver than me in taking the issue to your "other half" (AP or BP) before seeking advice elsewhere and im sorry that i havent im scared to make them think that it hurt my feelings or they did something wrong they didnt.It was a great experience and a true gift. And i should have said something right then.

OK so im asking a question and im thinking this is the perfect spot---- Also giving future APs and BPs something to think about and discuss with your matches.... What do you say when you're in public and asked about the relationship between each other?I felt really bad for Erin yesterday at the photo shoot when the photographer asked what the relationship was between us so she knew what pictures and poses to do. I didnt want to answer and seem like i was taking over but i could tell it made Erin feel awkward and it made me feel bad for all of us. So what do you say to this question when it comes up to you? I ashamedly havent talked to Erin and Jeff about this i dont want to make them feel bad for something that has already made them feel bad.

Great point!! I didnt even think about that..see this is why i love the forum i get to see things from all kinds of angles!! Thanks Beth! I love this response too and it actually made me wonder if ya'll think that being in an open adoption and growing up looking at this big family brought together by love for love if it helps create adults that can see society as a community and not strangeers?If they have a greater sense of helping others and giving back and paying forward? i can see that happening in me already and i read how alot of ya'll are that way too so do you think that being in open adoption helps that or being in Abrazo does it? Just a random thought thanks for inspiring it Beth I agree with the above responses. I think that open adoption can mean many different things depending on the situation but at the heart of it is honesty and love. I do think that you do start to look out from yourself and see that your child can benefit not only from your family, but also from their other family! One thing that going through the adoption process has done for me is given me a lot of gratitude. I think that sense of gratitude is what makes me want to try to help others and "pay it forward." I think when the birthfamilies and adoptive families have gratitude for each other and the part we play in each other's lives then there is greater respect and committment to the child's well being. One of my biggest hopes for my boys is that they grow up never feeling competition or jealousy between families. I want them to be free to love both sides and not feel like they are going to hurt one person they love be loving another. Love definitely expands, and not divides so there is no reason for them to feel like they have to limit theirs. I think BOTH birthfamilies and adoptive families have to work hard to talk well of and respect the other family so the child feels this way. Great response as always Hannah! Thanks for sharing!!

I love this response too and it actually made me wonder if ya'll think that being in an open adoption and growing up looking at this big family brought together by love for love if it helps create adults that can see society as a community and not strangeers?If they have a greater sense of helping others and giving back and paying forward? i can see that happening in me already and i read how alot of ya'll are that way too so do you think that being in open adoption helps that or being in Abrazo does it? Just a random thought thanks for inspiring it Beth

Aww Kelli i totally get it i have my moments of :over sharing" too in case it doesnt come across on here hahahaha But im sure that him hearing the pride in your voice as you spoke about S made your answer of what open adoption is very clear to him.And i love that you love the fact Yori will know how much love he has from so many angles.Having a mom that is determined to make sure he knows that is a special gift and a great part of open adoption i think. Thank you for sharing i really thought this would get more responses because i really want to use it at group for the non forum girls.we have a few that arent sure and wondering if open adoption works or how the APs feel about open adoption really is a fear for them.So really thank you and Melissa for your help in aiding me to ease that for them by giving a glimpe into ya'lls side and view

OF COURSE you got asked this today LOL how ironic huh i LOVE your answer i think that is very well put and very fitting thanks for the input on this as always friend

Bumping this up. ok Melissa you have corrupted me LoL im bumping this up i hope people read it and i wonder what everyones personal answer is when they are asked this question "what IS open adoption?" because i know ive been asked alot already and almost daily by my mother to explain more.My answer to people has been "its a realtionship of people that are able to see all sides of a coin and realize it all revolves around a child.Its a love that knows how to share and cherish at the same time for the greater good.Its a world created for the best interest of a baby.But most of all its a gift to everyone involved and a challenge conquered and grown through by everyone living it." usually people tell me it sounds like a hard but great way to go about adoption which i always respond "it should be the only way adoption is done." SO whats ya'lls answer when asked?

Thanks everyone for the great words of wisdom and encouragement its great to know i can take it a day at a time and even as i fall im still getting better daily So im looking for a great study Bible one thats easy to understand but still not so over translated that it can mis representative if you know what i mean? Any tips?

just a little add from the birthmom side...i have people all the time ask me how much my agency paid me/was paying me for my baby because they know someone who needs to place. I always tell them i didnt sell/am not selling my son and if your friend is planning to place because they need money they should seek counseling and prayer because it may not be the right decision for them. It's sad to think people truely believe you would only place out of money not love but that is society.It's like people asking me if i will have a baby for them because i placed that makes me mad and most of the time i honestly cant answer i just keep repeating in my head the bambie quote if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. but boy is it hard hahaha

Mandi, I can only speak for myself here (I realize there are many different faiths/religious ideals represented on the forum!). I don't see myself as good or able to "earn" any religious favor with God. I think that He freely gives that to us, and that He is perfect because we are not! Then I try to live according to what I see in the Bible. For me I try to read and learn what it says, and then how I can apply that in my every day life. That being said, I fail every day and often have to ask forgiveness from others or from God and I believe He freely gives it no matter what we've done or where we've been. I think one of the best thing Christians can do is to be genuine and not feel like we have to fake being someone we are not. I think it is ok to admit where we are weak or have struggles. There are many things in my life that I can't understand why they happened. I have never had what happened to you, but we've had some sad things happen. The only thing I can put my hope in is that God is using those times to make me into the person He wants me to be and also to be able to help others who have gone through hard times. I heard someone once talk about our life being like a tapestry. Sometimes we can only see a thread here or there and it looks ugly and knotted, but at the end we'll be able to look back and see how all the bad and good was woven together to make a beautiful piece. I think that was very well put i get what you're saying.I lean that way too with living life by what the Bible says more than by sermons or stereo types.And i think remembering that i can be forgiven and God knows im gonna mess up is key for me to remember trying to keep from putting human emotions on my thoughts of Him is hard i expect Him to be like my mom or dad and therefore i aim for perfection of give up on the "im the blacksheep o well" train of thought and i have to remember He isnt like that He knows my heart.So maybe just getting back into studying and reading the Bible and applying what i can day by day thats great advice thanks Hannah! I have learned that the hard times make me who He wants me to be and that is a hard lesson to learn as i am sure you know but a very important one i think. wow i love that and i am gonna print it for my mirror i can see my life as a tapestry. thank you Hannah

Ok so its ironic that this subject has been coming up on the new content because since the hospital i have been thinking about God alot.I once was very involved in church and very dedicated to my faith.My family were members of a great church i was very active in the youth group i led the choir of younger girls and organized outings for us.My mom was in charge of our drama and mime team which i was a part of.Our youth group did weekend retreats once a month and spent our entire summers in Mexico on missions trips.My life revolved around the church ,but it was natural because it was my family and friends so it didnt feel like i was a "Bible thumper" i didnt talk about religion every where i went or anything.But i do remember the peace i had in my life.I didnt have this anxiety or paranoia in every moment that i have now.I backslide and fell into a drug world for years after age 15 then when i was in the county jail awaiting sentencing in 2005..i got back into the Bible and found my faith.I led the Bible study and found my peace again.But i mis placed my faith...i believed that because i was innocent and God was the only one that knew that He would never let them find me guilty...i was sentenced to 5 years.I turned away from God then i was mad at Him i felt like i didnt want a relstionship with a God that would allow this to happen to me.I realized upon my release in 2010 that He had a reason for me to do the 5 years i still havent found it but i know my fall will serve a purpose at some point. Anyways i have been thinking about that peace alot lately...and Riley learning about God.About the woman i am when im involved in church verses the woman i am when im not and how i want to be the best most positive me i can be for Riley.and for E&J because i see how much they want me to reach my potential and do great things and it makes me want to. But i dont know how to start and not feel fake.I dont know how to go from being so not faithful to being a good christian again.How do you incorporate something so fully into a life that it could never fit in?Or change your life so much for it to fit?I guess where do i start?Sammy Sue is going to a great church that even has an adoption group for birthmoms and i plan on going with her on Sundays starting this week.But i know it takes much more than just sunday.Any tips?O yeah and buying a study Bible might help hahahaha

wow i have goosebumps