1st x grandma

Thank you sweetie.. Last year’s just us girls weekend I spent the entire time doing early spring cleaning, good thing Lauranda had a good friend with whom she spent a day doing girl stuff. This year she and I enjoyed our weekend together, we could easily handle one more like this, but maybe not more then that, might be too tempting to get in trouble somehow. My angel girl’s birthday can be a little tough, a few days leading up to, the day of and a day or two afterwards are filled with an array of mix emotions. I think the first year was the hardest, but we’ve been blessed to have the opportunity to see her close to her bdays, either by us going there or she and her family coming here. We do have the opportunity, love and enjoy talking to her on her special day and these last two years we’ve been invited to her bday parties, though we greatly appreciate the wonderful invitation, we’ve respectfully declined, one because my daughter is not ready for this which they understand completely, but it warms our hearts they offer us this special opportunity, second because we are kinda selfish in the sense that we really look forward to each visit and spending time with her and her family, so being there during a party we wouldn’t be able to have a lot of alone time with her (by alone time I do mean with only her and her family) so we all work together and plan a better time that will work for all and still close enough to her bday. She is getting big, from the little 2.5 lb baby that was born four years ago to where she is now is such a huge blessing and miracle. Not one day goes by that she is not mentioned in our home, so she is always very present with us. Yes, my daughter and I attended orientation in Jun 09, along with you, Shauna, Frank, and Julie (I believe her name was). It was a tough one for me, but I was left in awe of all five of you first parents and how strong each one of you were even though you each were hurting and dealing with your loss and pain. Of course living with my daughter I see how far she’s come and I have the opportunity to follow your journey and also see how far you have come especially when a true commitment and promise of open adoption was not kept and given to you by Cash’s aps, (for which I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with, but I so hope and pray one day you will be able to build a relationship with him). I don’t know how the other three are doing but I pray they are well. I see you attended this weekend’s orientation and I think you have been a regular at orientations, good for you, you are so important to so many. Keep sharing your story, let your voice be heard, you offer such insight to all new PIWs from a first mom perspective. If by sharing your story you help a couple who may not be too sure of open adoption and help them see the pain the broken promise causes, hopefully you prevent another expectant/ first mom from having to deal with what you have, what a difference you will have made. It was also so generous of you to offer to talk to J (Adria) if she needs to talk to someone, I hope she takes you up on it if she needs an understanding ear. Hugs to ya and Princess Naomi…

Thanks Beth!! Monica, Whatever is age level appropriate for our kiddos will be fun for you and I… It’s the spending time and bonding that makes it special no matter how we spend it.. My husband goes out of town for a few days every couple months for work also… but during the week it’s not as much fun for us, with me working and Lauranda going to school (and tons of homework) we don’t get a chance to just kick back.. So we really look forward to our only girl weekend once a year.. Enjoy your weekend/week with your precious boy as well!!

Yay…Lauranda and I have the weekend all to ourselves (oh, and her two doggies )…. Her dad left yesterday on a retreat… Man away Girls will PLAY

How true this is for all parents at some point in their childrens lives.... "It's hard to know the best choices to make on a child's behalf-much less to muster the energy, means, and desire to carry out whatever seems to be best. While struggling under the load of everything I was unable to give my children. I learned an important truth: if parents could give their children all that their hearts desire=if we could fill every need they have=they wouldn't need God." book Plain Wisdom

Thank you all for the wonderful Bday wishes for Sloane… She is totally loved and the apple of all our eyes.

Wishing many blessings for the newest addition to your family... Welcome to the world Jayden

H ow blessed we are to celebrate this day A fter your much too soon arrival seemed inevitable to come P raying feverishly in your Lala’s womb a little longer you could stay P acing the floor when we learned safely that couldn’t be done Y ielding to our faith and accepting God would lead the way B lessing so many each day you fill our hearts I n just a few years we love how much you’ve grown R eaching beyond the odds of those nuisance charts T aking in your surroundings happily by storm H ow beautiful, amazing and loved you are D ancing, learning, loving, and enjoying life A doringly glowing as our brightest star Y our special today and each and every day!! To you my beautiful Angel Girl on your 4th birthday we are sending YOU tons of hugs, kisses and all our LOVE!!! We Love you baby girl…

"But I do know that no parents are as right as they hope to be at the time the decisions are made. Our one redeeming grace for all the verdicts we must give-and the fruit they bear-is that God is fully capable of redeeming our children from our brilliance." from book Plain Wisdom

Thank you ladies, I appreciate your kindness.. All of you are a generous and loving group of individuals.

I feel for all these expectant & birthparents.. This journey is so tough already and I just can’t even imagine how much tougher it is for those dealing with this added stress. I could have easily been one of those birthfamily members that didn’t agree (that is if I hadn’t brought up adoption first, of course I did it in the heat of anger and disappointment).. I once read critical comments somewhere of how critical a first grandmother was (that was ironic I thought at the time) on the tv show 16 and pregnant, whose daughter and boyfriend chose to entrust....And all though I myself felt bad for the teens and the pressure they were getting put on them, I understood why the mom (grandma)felt like she did, I felt for her, though everyone has their own way of dealing with situations and no one handles things exactly the same, I could identify with her, and I thought/think the teens made a good choice given their environment and situation, but I cringed when I would read comments about her, because I thought how can people judge her when they haven’t experienced what she is feeling… We had our share of people who didn’t agree, many have come around others still may not have, and that was/is their choice, but the difference for my daughter was/is that she had me to protect her and fight for her, for the right to make the choice she felt was best for HER child as I would have expected people to respect my choices of what I felt was best for my children. She had me to stand up for her and not allow people to bully her had they tried. That saying that nothing is worse than a woman scorned, NO nothing is worse than a mother feeling her child is being hurt. We all have made decisions and choices in our lives that may not have been something everyone we knew to agree with, as parents we have done this more times than we can probably remember, and how many times as parents making these choices did we dislike or take offense to someone trying to dictate to us what we should or should not do for our children.. I would venture to say that all of these upset family members have been no different. How I wish I could have a conversation with these parents, not as someone judging them or criticizing them, but as someone who has been there and can identify with their fears, with possibly their hurt, share my story and hopefully dissipate what may be perceived as shattered dreams and hopes by them. But all I can do is keep not only the expectant/first parents in my prayers as many of you are doing as well, also their family members and ask God to heal all their hearts, bring them all strength to handle the situation with compassion, to enlighten them to the added hurt they are generating on these parents who are only trying to give their children a better life, better opportunities and more advantages then they could provide for their children themselves.

I read about an adoptee and their family having to deal with “adoptee bulling” …As if the world is not tough enough already for our kids.. I sure the @#%& would hate for my grand-baby, the heart of my heart to have to deal with this stuff…. This goes for any person especially a child in any situation… ugh!!

IMPRESSIONABLE A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. —Ancient Chinese proverb

I really like this..... "Our value can't be wrapped inside what others think or we think, because that is too dependent on this ever-shifting world. The value God places on us makes us more than we think we are, even on our hardest days, weeks, or years." From book Plain Wisdom

Prayers for family, may they be surrounded by GREAT memories that bring them comfort and ease their pain.

I give my Lord thanks for the year which has passed, though there may have been some heartache, some uncertainties and worries, the year was also full of blessings, each thing that happened important and meaningful in its own way.. Taking the good and what I may have perceived as the bad in stride and with much FAITH, knowing His hand and His plan is in everything which touches and surrounds me for a reason. Wishing each family and friend near and far a New YEAR full of blessings, of love, of understanding, of acceptance and most of all PEACE in our HEARTS.. No matter what obstacles or gifts may lay before us, may we look to God for some guidance and foresight to help us navigate each bump we may come to in our journey to the best of our ability and to humbly accept all the good things He bestows on us with heartfelt gratefulness.

good video........ www.aol.com/video/making-an-open-adoption-work/517617499

Wishing all forum families a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS from OUR family to yours....

Monica,,, so true.. one of my nephews moved up to Houston in Aug.. started medical school, he says not much difference in climate compared to SA... I love my Texas

No joke... I have a sister in law that lives in Portland Maine and the one that lives in Maryland (lived at one time in Africa)... Of course it's taken them years to get used to their weather now but when they come back to SA, they feel the heat... the humidity is the killer for them, including for my daughter who has lived in Vegas for almost 9 yrs....Good thing they aren't made of chocolate or they would melt in just 75 degree weather now… Personally I can tolerate cold better then heat (prefer spring and fall)… I can layer up in cold weather, but in the 100 plus temps we (I) can only take off so much in public before frightening anyone , getting arrested or worse getting put in a loony jacket and locked up a different way… So when do you head out of town? Be careful with that precious cargo little princess.. actually two cargos..

Traveling to Maryland on Christmas day…struggling to decide what to pack… mine and Lauranda’s suit cases have been sitting there collecting dust for the past two (or more ) weeks and don’t have a stitch of clothing in them.. My SIL says a light jacket over sweaters…heck I live in SOUTH TEXAS a light jacket for me is when we get in the high 60s.. Anything below 65 requires a thick (er) one for me.. Menopause or no Menopause

Thinking of many throughout the forum and those who have yet to find their way... from one end of the spectrum to the other, God will lead us to where we are each meant to be... "A dream can be nurtured over years and years and then flourish rapidly. . . . Be patient. It will happen for you. Sooner or later, life will get weary of beating on you and holding the door shut on you, and then it will let you in and throw you a real party!" — Les(ter Louis) Brown

Lol, well I am honored and glad we made "the cut"

Teri It was so nice and a pleasure meeting you and Steven (?..hope I got that right )..I look forward to following your journey….Wishing you the best in the coming months… You both seem like a very warm, caring and loving couple,, Expectant mom/family will be proud to have you as extended family and all of you blessed to have each other..

Beth, I loved the opportunity to meet you and your beautiful family in person.. Your little tyke is adorable.. He warmed up to me, just didn’t want to make it too obvious to others .. but I caught him playing peek a boo several times..

“Along the Road" I walked a mile with Pleasure; She chattered all the way. But left me none the wiser For all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow And ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her When Sorrow walked with me! -Robert Browning, Poet