suziandben

Praying for you all!

Recently Collin pulled our 2nd profile off the shelf and asked to read it. It was really neat going through it 4 years later with 4 years of getting to know Parker's family behind us now. I saw the profile in a totally different perspective. I put pictures of our cars in that profile because Ben loves cars and had sold his sports car after Collin came home. Well in the picture with my van I am wearing a superman shirt. Parker's uncle Kyle (side they are all ours in every way uncles aunts grandmas etc just making it clearer who is who in my story) anyway uncle Kyle is obsessed with super heroes. I made a comment that driving my van is like driving the bat mobile. Soooo fun to see tiny details that really spoke to their family that seemed like space fillers to me as I was putting it together. (We had 26 pages to fill for that Washington state agency.)

HUGE congratulations Lauranda!!!!!!

Wow how very sad! He was a blessing to our family.

Grandmas are the BEST!!

So very very happy for you mom and dad!!!

Wow those temps! Have you ever tented your plants so you don't have to pull them? I am not in the know just saw others putting up poles and plastic sheeting of some kind or other.

Awesome news! Rooting for smooth and speedy resolutions to all these things. How crazy that so many of your symptoms you were things you figured you just had to deal with. I'm sure that speaks to your willingness to put others around you ahead of yourself. <3

Glad you are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

Congratulations!!!!

Anybody working for a small employer.... Nada, nothing. No adoption reimbursement, no paid time off (unless you use your vacation time). Sigh

Yeehaw!!!!!

That's so awesome!!

Wow praying for all involved!!!

Tears of joy!!!

Hi Carissa, I hate to give you an answer like this but I think you wing it. I know it's not the same - we were in driving distance from baby. But like you, we were in one place, baby was in another place and our parents were both in different directions hours away. We were largely a BOG with Parker. We got a call on dec 23rd, J would like to talk to you, she's in the hospital (her water broke at 29 weeks). We were planning to move to washington from oregon over new years weekend - we changed our plans, christmas day we opened presents and packed our first load for washington. we sat with J and K at the hospital over christmas weekend - we weren't going to spend christmas away from collin and it was too short notice anyway and so we had him with us - we spent some time at the hospital with him and some time he was at the hotel with ben. I remember really being panicked how in the world are we going to do a premie with a 1 year old and no grandparents to help? The next week as we were unpacking in washington, things seemed to be stable in spokane with J so we were totally taken off guard (again) when we got a phone call that they were inducing labor. When we got that call I clearly remember standing in the living room going through scenarios... what if we ... or .... or.... or .... or .... or.... in the end we came up with a wild herring idea (necessity is the mother of invention). The minute we hit on the right idea we knew it just sunk down in the gut - this is the right solution! It would be confusing if I shared all the pieces of what we did but we came up with a solution for the time immediately around birth (and found another solution later post birth for the 5 weeks we were in the nicu). I think the dire need of the situation pushes you to think very creatively and the answer did NOT come until the moment they were needed. So I would totally be doing the same exact thing you are doing right now - planning, plotting, finding tools for your tool belt. And then when all your planning is done know that if the need arises you will be able to figure it out. Big hugs mama I'm excited to see what the future holds for you. I agree with Jocelyn in saying do you have anyone in your same town that you trust with your child? Babies are exciting - I bet your friends/family would JUMP at the chance to help you in such an important way. If you truly had a rushed BOG could you leave your child with a friend and fly them back and forth to texas to transport your child to you? It's a whole lot faster and easier than having grandma/grandpa fly or drive to you. I can't remember your family situation - do you have a church family? do you have a babysitter would do that? Or perhaps you are lucky enough to end up in the same town as an abrazo family who might help with your child?

Oh wow a glorious day!!!! Your wait is over....your sleepless nights begin. Big congratulations!!!!!

Happy anniversary!!! (I have my husband a haircut yesterday and found gray hair. You are in good company.)

Wow time has been flying. Given that sloane and Collin are so close in age I should not be blown away but wow happy 21st birthday lauranda!!! I hope it's a wonderful day.

Big congratulations on the most wonderful of tiny blessings!!

Classic!! That's awesome.

Congratulations all the speed bumps and detours in your home study were mere blips in the journey to becoming a family of FOUR.

Adding my prayers for your peace and calm. <3

Bummer.

I think the abrazo chicks famous saying is that they are social workers not so much statisticians at abrazo. So they have very few statistics. Though one of the newer abrazo "chicks" did some math recently on wait times. (Sidenote: it sounds awful to call them "chicks" if you are unfamiliar - I swear I'm not a jerk - the ladies at Abrazo call themselves the Abrazo chicks so it's a name used with playful affection.) I don't know how many have failed matches with abrazo versus those that don't. I do know the journey of infertility and adoption is one that is froth with heartaches/breaks of varying magnitudes and that no one goes through that journey without heartbreak of some form or another. While some might not have had an official failed "match", perhaps they had hopes dashed, rejections upon rejections (we had many of those and they hurt dang it! lol). Parents in waiting at abrazo have documented infertility so they carry that wound as well. So why do it if you know you might (probably will) get hurt? When we came to abrazo I came with so many of these same questions that you have. I very much wanted some guarantees that we were going to be okay. I wanted to be protected from another heart break. I had to do some soul searching and realized that our (failed) match in Oregon before abrazo was "a chance". That's what every match is... a chance. I came to realize that if I could go back and have a "redo", I would still choose to match with the gal in oregon for the chance to be a mom. With a heap load of patience all those chances came through. We came home with Collin and then Parker. I leaned heavily on those that went before us that told us the journey would be worth it. And I was grateful to know that the abrazo chicks were going to be there for us. They were. And the journeys were worth my boys! In terms of long matches that is another one that you just have to let go and be willing to come in on faith. There are some very very long matches (7 months? I can't remember the maximum match time with abrazo) and some very very short matches (same day match and placement) and lots of in between. The baby/child meant for your family will find your family - short/long/medium match. I came with the SAME fears that you are expressing. I left our adoption journeys with two boys. My cup literally runneth over. I was able to snuggle with my boys tonight because in 2008, I moved forward despite my fears, uncertainties and wounds. I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your grandparent by the way. Oddly it seems like a parent or grandparent passing during the adoption journey IS a very very common happening. Ben's grandma passed while we were parents in waiting with abrazo. I don't know if you are a religious person. I can't help but wonder if there is some significant link in that coincidence like grandma/grandpa are going off to help bring baby to your family. It's a nice thought anyway.