MarkLaurie

Welcome to Abrazo, Amy!!! I can't wait to follow your journey to the precious baby (or babies ) that is awaits you. Definitely take a look around the forum topics. You have already taken a wise step in getting the homestudy almost complete. That could help speed your journey. As far as starting your profile, look for pictures that showcase you and your husband. Some also include pictures of their home, extended family, doing hobbies. Many tell a story with their pictures or have a theme they carry throughout their profile pages. They don't recommend profiles over 3 pages (front and back) or 6 (front side only). Their are a few forum topics regarding finances that you will find. My husband and I just went to our bank and took out a consumer loan. Most of the other people I know do a home equity loan. We just took placement of our daughter in October and we are already saving for the next adventure.

Diana - I always enjoy reading your posts. Your journey through this process has been a joy to witness as it has been expressed in the forum. Despite the tough situations, the wisdom that you have exhibited in coping and keeping your thinking so positive is awesome. Your forum community is rooting for you and your family.

Our initial homestudy was $650 and post placement visits $200.

Congratulations, Mark and Marlene!!!!

I thought I would start a list for those looking to start the adoption process and wondering how it is done. I hope all the "been there done that" crowd will add their two cents and please correct me if I got it wrong somewhere. The writing in red are my recommendations but are not mandatory. Research options for adoption Educate yourself on open adoption Ask yourself the tough questions about if you have dealt with infertility issues (many participate in counseling or support groups)1. Fill out and mail in Abrazo's initial inquiry with inquiry fee (downloadable from web page) 2. Several weeks later, Abrazo will send you a letter and their application form. 3. Fill out and return application with application fee. 4. Sign up for and attend one of Abrazo's awesome orientation weekends. Start the homestudy (make sure you get Abrazo's homestudy requirements) 5. Upon returning home from orientation, complete paperwork provided at orientation, send in first half of agency fee, and develop family profile pages that are shown to birthparents. Get the nursery ready 6. If you haven't completed your homestudy, complete your homestudy according to Abrazo's guidelines. 7. Abrazo will start contacting you to speak with birthparents by phone. 8. Birthparent selects you for a "match". 9. You recieve information about birthparent and choose to "match" or not. 10. Continue contact with the birthparents as possible. 11. Baby Arrives!!! 12. Upon relinquishment of parental rights (not to occur less than 48 hours after birth), you then complete paperwork to take "placement" of your precious child. Continue to facilitate a relationship with the birthparents 13. Complete monthly reports to Abrazo that include letter to birthparents and pictures. 14. Approximately 6 -12 months later, Abrazo will contact you for "finalization" of the adoption!!!! 15. Complete Annual reports to Abrazo.

What a great way to end a great day! I have been on pins and needles waiting to hear this news! I am so happy for you, Kristen and Jason!!!!!!! I hope the compact clears so you can make it back to Lubbock in time for a little get together, but I know you may be a little preoccupied. There shouldn't be interstate compact for someone who lives a mile across the border. Awesome, Awesome, Awesome!

Bumping this up for Heidi.

Bumping this up for Heidi. Welcome to the forum.

Yeah, Jan and Greg!!!!! I was just wondering about you guys today - wondering if your time was getting close....and well, I guess it was closer than I realized. I am so excited for you guys. Finally, another Stroller Girl for Miss Bailey to play with.

One of the things I have come to appreciate about working with Abrazo is their SINCERE commitment to OPEN adoption. There seem to be lots of agencies out there jumping on the open adoption band wagon - but it seems to be for the wrong reasons. Abrazo somehow finds the time and energy and resources to meet the needs of adoptive parents AND birthmothers and it is all (of course) for the sake of the babies. Thanks, Ladies!

To start the homestudy before or after orientation - that is the question. Personally, I was really glad that we started ours before orientation. Some social workers take their time getting the report written up. Abrazo moves so fast sometimes and there is nothing more anxiety provoking than realizing some adoption opportunities are passing you by. We were matched within several weeks following orientation and I was glad we didn't have to hurry to get things done or missed our chance to match. If you do decide to get started before orientation, make sure you get a copy of Abrazo's homestudy requirements to give to your social worker.

Mark and Christine maybe? But they are Peabisquits. Whoever it is, I am so excited!

Babies Galore!!!! Congratulations to the new parents. I can't figure out which lucky family this is yet, but I'm sure someone can help me out.

Yeah, another Good Buddy!!!!!!!!! Congratulations! I can't wait for details and pictures.

Yeah, Mary Helen and Jim!!!!!! Congratulations!

One of the big things that the Abrazo ladies preach as well as many of the books on what a couple must do to ready themselves for a positive adoption experience is to make sure that they have truly come to terms with their infertility and have grieved the biological children they have imagined would have been born to them. I recently read the following poem that speaks to this "transition". It brought tears to my eyes. Burial by E. Van Clef Today I closed the door of the nursery I have kept for you in my heart. I can no longer stand in its doorway. I have waited for you there so long. I cannot forever live on the periphery of the dream world we share, and you cannot enter my world. I have fought to bring you across the threshold of conception and birth. I have fought time, doctors, devils, and God Almighty. I am wary and there is no victory. Other children may someday live in my heart but never in your place. I can never hold you. I can never really let you go. But I must go on. The unborn are forever trapped within the living but it is unseemly for the living to be trapped forever by the unborn.

Something that I have been enjoying reading on the forum lately is Marcelo and Claudia's reports about reuniting with their precious little guy's birthparents. I think their words have spoken so beautifully of the open adoption journey. (You can find it under Joyous Journeys - And the journey continues). Thanks Marcelo and Claudia (and Dante) for showing us how it works.

I thought it would be helpful to share some of the positive adoption lingo with any "Newbies" out there. These are some of the things Abrazo teaches at orientation. I also can remember some terms from the forum that I was unfamiliar with in the beginning. Positive Language/Negative Language Birthparent/Real Parent My child/Adopted child Terminate parental rights/Give up Make an adoption plan/Give away To parent/To keep Was adopted/Is adopted Here are some of the abreviations used on the forum: AP - adoptive parent (AM & AF) BP - birthparent (BP & BF) - contrary to my initial guess when I was new, BP is not the "Bowel Movements" of newly adopted children ...Well, I am starting to go blank. Any other forumites able to add to the list?

All of the above. The fear of the unknown and the fear of what you think you know (But do you really?). But I believe that most things worth doing come at a price. And overcoming these fears for the sake of your child, their birthfamily, and yourself is one of these "worth-it" things. We are choosing to battle our fears in order to keep as much of that door open as is within our power. And what is not in our power, we choose to turn over to our Heavenly Father.

Congratulations, Mark and Rhonda!!!!!

Yeah, Charles and Pam!!!! Congratulations on the little boy that you hoped for! Can't wait for pictures!

Congratulations to the new "Squirrel" parents on the arrival of your girl!

Congratulations, Art and Heather! Enjoy your sweet girl.

Congratulations, Natalee and David! Can't wait to hear the details! Wishing you a quick clearance. The Pea Pod is almost full!

Congratulations to the new little Pea!!!!