Lisa2

mommy2.... you too are one of the many many wonderful women we enterust our hearts too...thank you for being the kind of woman we are all proud of and would give our hearts and hands to in a new family a million times over... you treat us as though it is special... unfortunately not all do that

smitty.... i have waited to post so that i might get past your hurtful attitude and not lash out as i post a reply... but as a birthmom of a beautiful son who i placed with a very wonderful couple i am VERY OFFENDED. You have chosen to type before thinking of the pain and unrest you may cause to a family thinking about placing a child... you have also not given respect nor the bat of an eye as you type very unnerving things to and about birthfamilies and adoptive families as well... so i will give you a lil insight on how i feel... you may not have been given a "working tummy" due to the way you handle things in life. you may need to go through some pain and heartbreak before you are able to fully love a child. I do not know. However, as a birthparent giving advice... before you go through an adoption plan and giving yourself hope you should really think about your hopes and dreams... do you want a child .... so badly that you could love any child... do you ask God for a healthy baby or do you ask for a baby with conditions of parenting... will a birthmom chose you if you are so bitter ... could you agree to care for a child of someone so giving if you are such a close minded individual? maybe before you post or further your thinking about adoption you should attend a little group session that has birthmoms, adoptive parents and proffessionals that could help you get past the hurt, anger, heart break," let down by God" feelings that you have and get to a more happy place of love and mutual respect. i will pray that you will find peace in your heart and mind and that if you do chose adoption that you have become a more receptive person to another's feelings and wishes... may you have the opportunity to parent without interference from anyone except those who want give love to that precious baby... for all of us shall reap the benefits of a loved child

The thought comes to mind that I hope all children adopted thru open plans are never going to feel "unwanted"! In this type of plan we all are there to reassure the child and eachother that all is well and that God never gives us more than we can handle. My son was not a "planned" occurrence nor was he unwanted... his adoptive parents wanted him before the first little cell grew and I wanted him to have a relationship with myself and my older daughter but the circumstances were not condusive to that.... I hope he will never decide he was not wanted... many people want a child but God plans for them to get a child and a new family to go along....think of it as a "value package" (more love than expected )

As a birthmom I do not choose to pop in & out of my sons life.... we have a relationship that creates a "aunt/nephew" feel. He knows I love him and he is old enough to tell me he loves me but as for deciding not to be involved isnt why i chose an open adoption... I chose it simply because i WANTED to be involved. No, I do not call or "show up" daily but I do call periodically and will visit in May. The whole point of an open adoption is to have a family feel between all involved and not be "babysitting".

ok--- just another thought on this.... I am a BP who never even tought about age...i had to decide on the "perfect " family three times all in one pregnancy.... The first couple was young...and they couldn't get their opinions on a medical history question on the bf to agree... The second couple was older( she had a 18yr old from a previous marriage) and they had the same problem... Finally the third couple was perfect...and meant to be! I never saw the pics on their profile...i read the words on the bad faxed copy and hoped they were as great as they seemed to be.... I immediately called and had abrazo set up a phone call.... not knowing age or physical appearances.... i knew they'd have no problem keeping up with a baby.... The way in which they wrote the profile was not young and hip or old and stuffy... but a healthy mix of both... I am very glad they took the time to write such a heartfelt letter and didnt stress over things they can't control.... The plan for this couple was already determined as it was for me...a family would happen... and it wouldnt be "if", just "when"... dont stress just relax and it will come in time.... Lisa J

I have finally picked up a copy of the book "Theory of Relativity"written by Jaqueline Michard ( I think I spelled that right). I cried and cried and then cried more! This was a book based on a true story and Elizabeth sent a lil note out on it in July. The author is one of us and a real friend of Abrazo!