Stork Central

A friendly Forum welcome to the wonderful graduates of Abrazo's latest orientation weekend, The Five Abrazados, 8/03! This caring crew of childless couples is off and running, and just waiting to meet the birthparents (and children) of their dreams. We wish them Godspeed on their journey, as we do all our fabulous families-in-waiting. (Not if, but when? and here's to then!)

Yippee-ayyy-aeeee!!! It's a new 'lil cowboy for another of our graduates of Bruce's Great 8 Posse of 4/03, meaning half of that illustrious group have become parents within three and a half months of that wild and wonderful weekend! Hearty congrats to our proud new ma and pa (and the loving birthkin who made this miracle happen)... and saddle 'em up, the rest of yous-still-waitins', because your turn lies ahead, just beyond the bend.

Due in September 2003: a biracial baby boy with a serious but correctable medical condition called gastroskesis. Birthmother has received prenatal care, presently covered under Medicaid. She would prefer an African-American or interracial couple but will consider qualified parents of any background. Placement may qualify for state special needs subsidy. Please keep this little guy and his birthfamily in your prayers as we search for an appropriate home for him.

From time to time, Abrazo has need of referrals of homestudied families for special situations; cases in which specific kinds of parents are needed for pending placements (for which the agency has no appropriate homes already-in-waiting.) While we do not wish to rely upon the Internet as a means of facilitating quality adoptions, Abrazo will occasionally post possible placement opportunities here in an effort to expand our access to appropriate parents-in-waiting for special cases. Should you or someone you know have an interest in a placement possibility posted here, please fax a current homestudy to Abrazo's Family Services department, at 210/342-6547 with a note citing the case of interest, and an agency caseworker will respond by phone within 3 days. (Current or past Abrazo clients in good standing with completed homestudies on file may phone the Family Services Coordinator directly to express interest.) Thanks for helping us help our little ones in need!

Scheduled dates for 2003 orientations can be confirmed with Abrazo's family services coordinator, Angela Martinez, M.S.W. at 210/342-LOVE, but are tentatively set for August, October and December. At present, Abrazo is working with a new birthmom who is seeking a childless and interracial couple (preferably Texan) with whom to place Anglo-African American twins due this fall (gender unknown.) All interested couples who meet this general description are encouraged to contact Angela at Abrazo for further information and a potentially wonderful set of autumn blessings!

One of the cost risks that many prospective parents don't always remember to budget for are those funds lost if an adoption plan goes south (which can happen whether an adoptive family commits to a match and then changes their mind about moving forward or whether a birthparent realizes after matching that adoption may not be the right plan, after all.) While Abrazo does make a diligent effort to manage case expenses in a prudent and responsible manner, remember that any disrupted match may result in some lost funds, regardless of the length of time the case was matched. Why is this? It's because any "out of pocket" costs incurred on behalf of a case at any time by our nonprofit agency become the responsibility of the committing adoptive family at time of matching with that case. What does this entail? Sometimes, just several cabfares provided to bring a birthparent to the agency to register and select the adoptive family, or travel expense for an agency staff member to have provided the same services to a birthparent out of town... in other cases, it may include groceries and/or housing and/or medical/legal costs incurred to provide for a birthparents' needs before a match was made. These are considered "reimburseable" expenses under state standards, enabling agencies to pass such costs on to the families who wish to potentially benefit from the subsequent match. However, under no circumstances can agencies require birthparents to repay an adoptive family for that assistance in the event that the case outcome does not go the way of the adoptive family's choosing. That's a hard pill to swallow, sometimes, for those pinching pennies along the way to parenthood... We respect that. No loss of money--or dreams or hope-- is ever easy. But we also know that those who seek to adopt must come to the process prepared to face such potential losses, realizing that those who ultimately make those adoption dreams come true for others face much greater lifelong losses which are never reimburseable. Know that this cost risk factor does not affect all families who enter the process, but it is something we address at every orientation weekend, in the hopes of preparing our newest clients for all possible risks and outcomes on this rollercoaster ride we call "adoption."

About ten weeks and one "dress rehearsal" after orientation, another darling couple from the Bruce's Great 8 Posse (4/03) weekend is now celebrating their new roles as Mom and Dad, with the unexpected arrival of a precious 8 lb. baby boy! They'd thought they might be spending the weekend beachcombing with relatives at South Padre Island, or shopping for summer clothes in Dallas, but thanks to unanticipated phone calls, answered prayers and a whole lot of sunshine, they are home tonight adoring a brand new son, and we just couldn't be happier for them! For being right where we needed them to be right when we needed them to be there (and with love and thanks to one selfless and very sure birthmom) we send out best wishes to our newest favorite parents!!

Tonight, when you tuck your child or yourself into bed, please say a prayer for a teen-aged runaway named Jetta. She's young and in trouble. And the trucker who picked her up several months ago wants to get rid of her-- now that she's pregnant. He called our office for help today, but hung up on us when he feared our staff might seek to trace his call. The authorities can find no matching missing person reports within the national databases. Meanwhile, our staff is haunted by the thought of this girl and her coming baby, out on the road and all alone with a predator more than four times her age. Surely someone, somewhere is missing a daughter, or sister, or granddaughter, or niece. Please, God, watch over Jetta and guide her safely home, wherever that may be... (and all the young girls like her, out there.) Amen.

They were new to the Forum and "very close to an adoption" just days ago, and now, they are the proud parents of a lovely baby girl! Hearty congratulations to the latest of our success stories, graduates of Los Misionarios, our 2/03 orientation weekend. And an enthusiastic "welcome aboard" to our newest mommies-and-daddies-to-be, the Junebuggies (or was it "Junebuddies"?), who came through our Parents of Tomorrow orientation just this very weekend--and finished with flying colors? Here's wishing them Godspeed, all (and lots of fun along the way to parenthood, as well.) P.S. Thanks also to forumites Amanda, Melissa and Mary, for speaking on today's panel and sharing their stories with our newest Abrazo family members...

Hi, Mike and Mary! What a great subject idea--Abrazo has had other "three-timers" but they apparently have their hands so full, they don't get on the Forum as often as we know they'd like to! Third-time againers do generally find that the adoption process takes considerably longer, because finding a special birthmom who knows her baby would be just as loved and appreciated as the other two already in the home takes more time... and that's without figuring any adoptive family gender preferences into the equation. The good news is, you've got the two at home to keep you busy in the meantime, and you know twice-over that the program works!! For good advice on the feeding, care and management of threes, do check in with WeAdoptedThree and Feeling Blessed; they're kind of our "resident experts" in this area! Welcome back!

Here's a really excellent resource: Heather Lowe's What You Should Know If You're Considering Adoption for Your Baby, a downloadable brochure for prospective birthparents, written by a birthmom who's painfully honest about the things she wishes she had known... before she made her adoption decision. (And here at Abrazo, we wish we'd known how to make this available to clients before now, because this is important and balanced information for every prospective birthparent to have.) Check it out!

Once upon a time, a handsome prince brought the queen of his heart to Texas to attend Abrazo's 4/03 orientation weekend. It had been nearly a decade since the dragon of infertility had first reared its ugly head, but now, the royal couple was truly ready to become parents in a magical new way. "Hark," said his fair maiden, "'tis only parents we long to be, thus curse the quest for fertility!!" Yet, the prince secretly feared the untold dangers of the dark woods of the unknown, and worried that openness might evoke unwelcome gremlins or flying monkeys (or something). Could a special potion cure the problem? Whatever would they do? Which way would they turn? "Have faith," the Abrazo adoption fairies assured them. "You have naught to fear but fear itself!! And so it was, that against great odds, they set aside their worries and journeyed to the edge of the forest, where they found not darkness and danger but flowers and sunshine, the loveliest of birthfamilies, and one tiny blonde princess in need of a safe castle and a fairy tale future. So, the very month after they first journeyed into the land of Abrazo (and hitched their star to Bruce's Great 8 Posse), the prince and his beloved expanded their family to include one precious newborn and her dearest birthkin, as they became real-life Parents, forever and ever! Here's to our newest success story... may all the folks involved live on happily ever after!! (The End.)

Our Holiday Hopefuls of 12/02 are moving right along, as today, another of their weekend buddies found their dreams coming true! This childless San Antonio couple entered Abrazo's program just before Christmas, matched after Mother's Day and became parents right before Memorial Day, giving them the long holiday weekend to introduce their new son to his breathless new relatives. Congrats to the new mom, dad and baby-- with heartfelt thanks to the loving birthmom (and birthsibs) who made this all possible--and in the nicest possible timing, at that.

"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning..." Psalms 30:5 Joyfully announcing the recent homecoming of one special baby girl, placed in the loving arms of a thankful couple who'd previously endured the inexplicable loss of a child they'd hoped would forever be their son... and asking for your prayers, for God's continued blessing upon and protection of this deserving new family.

Over the years the agency has worked with a number of birthparents whose own mothers also once placed a child (or children) for adoption in their younger years. These older birthmothers-now-birthgrandparents face special challenges in helping support their daughters through second generation adoption choices. Most of these women have had only closed adoption experiences, and being a peripheral part of an open adoption can evoke discomfort, sadness, guilt or regret, that they did not have open adoption choices available to them at the time of their own placements. Many have never revealed to their own families that they went through this before, and don't know how to do it, now that their own son or daughter is facing this dilemma, too. Some worry that openness could somehow make the adoption experience harder on their daughters (or sons), because they themselves know how to live with the loss of closed adoption but not with the assurance of openness. Yet others find a renewed curiosity for establishing or recharging reunion ties with the agency or family or child with whom they placed so long ago. And still others cringe at the idea that relatives will point a finger at them for their own kids' adoption choices, thinking the birthgrandparent "set a bad example" or is now paying some bizarre sort of cosmic payback for having "given up that baby" long ago. It's a tough road, but you've got friends out here that you don't even know about yet... so if you are the parent of a birthmom or birthdad and you need to connect with others in the know, call Abrazo, or post here... come on out of the shadows and into the light! because you're not alone! There's an army of support out there just waiting to be tapped! and it's yours, for the asking.

With nearly half of our April orientation weekend's participants already placed or matched, Abrazo is once again in particular need of childless Texas couples for our full-service infant placement program... the next orientation weekend is June 6-7 and while we have all the families-with-children that we need at this time, we are still seeking several more Texan parenting wannabes, particularly those with expanded racial expectations and no gender preferences, so please pass the word. Thanks!

Break out the blue bubblegum cigars... it's another beautiful blue bundle for another of our favorite Forum families! And with it, we close another chapter of Abrazo's 2002 orientation stories, as The DreamTeam 02, last May's weekend participants, now get to celebrate a whole year of dreams that truly did come true. If you're still one of our "parents-in-waiting," here's proof positive that you're in the right place, and that it will happen, in good time. In the meantime, get your hearts and homes ready, and always remember... it's not "if?"...just "when!"

It's a red letter day for Bruce's Great 8 Posse, our orientation graduates of 4/03, as the first of the newest couples to sign up with Abrazo (just three weeks ago!) returns to Texas to meet their dream-come-true, a bouncing baby boy born just this past weekend. Congratulations to these happy parents, and special Mother's Day greetings to all our mommas out there: by birth, by adoption, already parenting or still-in-waiting... God bless you, mothers all!

...And with today's entrustment of a precious baby boy to a much-deserving couple (also longtime Forumites) and their handsome young son (himself an Abrazobabe, and now proud big brother, too!), Stork Central is delighted to announce that the nine couples of Los Nuevos Familios, our 8/02 orientation, have all successfully taken placement within nine months or less!! Best wishes to this newest family, and jubilant congratulations to all 9 of these now-former families-in-waiting... to 18 birthparents out there who helped make those homecoming dreams come true... and especially to the 10 lucky little ones at the center of it all!!! Vaya con Dios, y'all!

Ahoy, mates! We're happy to report that it was smooth sailing from orientation to placement for Abrazo's newest parents, graduates of our Holiday Hopefuls parents-of-tomorrow class of 12/02. After all, they were out on a yacht when they first learned the birthmom had selected them as her expected baby's chosen family, just months after orientation. The lucky couple met their brand new baby boy this weekend and pronounced him to be "shipshape" (just after last month's trip to Texas, to become personally acquainted with his sweet young birthmom and proud birthgrandmother.) We wish this new little sailor and both the families who love him so "anchors away!" as they begin their new lives together--with him at their helm.

Roses are red, violets are blue... another Forum couple's now parenting... Los Nuevos Familios, know who?! Bouquets of congratulations to another happy Abrazo family from our 8/02 orientation, who became the very proud parents of a tiny, darling, newborn boy just today. They've become active Forum participants in recent months--sure hope they'll still have time for plenty of postings between those diaper changes and late night feedings!!

Our latest entry into the ranks of "new parents" hail from the DreamTeam '02, our May 2002 orientation graduates... they took their time finding just the "right" birthmom, and as a result, they know in their hearts that they truly have found just the "right" baby! Congratulations to this proud new ma & pa (and grandma!), and best wishes, too, to another DreamTeam '02 couple who recently found their adoption plans foiled by the wonderfully unexpected news that they have a "homemade" miracle on the way. The good Lord works in mysterious ways, as they say! and we celebrate the homecoming of all little ones, by whatever means. (Yea, God!)

Poet, adoptee and mom-by-adoption Penny Callan Partridge (our 1999 Camp Abrazo keynote speaker in Charlotte, N.C.) was recently asked for her insights as to why some adoptions work out so much better than others. In response, she quoted the writing of Michael Leunig: There are only two feelings: love and fear. There are only two languages: love and fear. There are only two activities: love and fear. There are only two motives, two procedures, two frameworks, two results. Love and fear. Love and fear. "Like any institution, adoption is so dependent upon the individuals involved," she said. "And each of us has such a different mixture of love and fear, and what we do with them. Such diversity is bound to affect the adoptions we find ourselves in." (Wishing you love that casts out fear...)

This book referral is not an "adoption read", per se, but it is the new bestseller, and was written by an Abrazomom, one of our own! Check it out: Twelve Times Blessed, a novel by Jacquelyn Mitchard, just hit the store shelves nationwide. Given that the author is not just one of the greatest contemporary novelists of our time but is also the generous benefactress of Abrazo's Allegretti-Mitchard Birthparent Scholarship Fund, we highly--and shamelessly--recommend this new book to all readers everywhere!

We're all bubbling with excitement over the latest "pint-sized" miracle, who brings the Fabulous Sixpackers (11/01) one couple closer to completion... patience is a virtue, as they say, and we congratulate our newest family on their patience and its happily-ever-after outcome! Cheers!