Stork Central

Just a quick "Bienvenidos!" to the newest of our families to soon be welcoming home precious new sons and daughters: our latest orientation grads are The Peterectors of 11/03, those hearty souls who braved a post-midnight bedtime this past Friday evening to launch their psychological pregnancies and begin their own joyous journeys towards parenthood. Happy Trails, Y'all!

Wowie zowie! One month ago today, a childless couple from Arizona was sitting in a circle getting acquainted with other prospective clients at our October orientation... and tonight, these members of the Croptoberfest Crew are sitting in a hotel room in west Texas, admiring their newborn son as they revel in their new role as parents (and count and recount ten adorable little fingers and toes.) We wish them unnumbered blessings in their new lives together... and we salute all our beloved parents-in-waiting for their rigor and readiness as they wait for the "right" one to come along for them, as well.

For moms who just learned of their child's pregnancy, and for those who have watched from afar... For those who still want all the best for their girls, no matter what age old they are... For mothers who worry, late into the night, and others, who struggle with some guilt, For mamas who wrestle with unspoken rage over life crises their children have built... Your baby's "with child" but it wasn't her plan, yet now her choice must be her own. You need not approve, no, but stand by her side--don't leave her to face this alone! You cannot rescue her, nor fix her plight, for this "problem" is hers to resolve. Help her learn all her options, then she'll grow in new ways as her own best plan starts to evolve. It's a long road, and scary, with no easy end, and you'll both need back-up, others report... So if you need to vent, or just talk to a friend, check in here, where there's lots of support! Dear Moms of Moms-To-Be: Welcome. Yours is not an easy place to be in right now, but thanks for "being there" for your pregnant daughter, whatever her circumstances. We want to be here for you, too. So make this your special corner, a safe haven you turn to when you've got questions to ask, feelings to air or thoughts to share. We know you want the best for your baby--and her baby, too. Find here the support you'll need along the way! You've got friends here at the Forum.

Extra, Extra... Read all about it!! Hot off the press: one of our Croptoberfest Crew couples is making headlines, as they returned to Texas today, just 19 days after attending our October orientation! to add a bouncing baby boy to their already-beautiful family portrait!! (And they weren't the first of the Croptoberfest families to match, either, so the big news is that this latest orientation group appears to be moving along nearly as quickly as the one before them.) What's important, of course, isn't the speed of the process but the success of the plan, because "happy endings" are really only the beginning for all these precious little Abrazotots. And that, as Paul Harvey would put it, is "the rest of the story!!!" Congratulations, all!

We're looking for a homestudy-approved couple or family who are members of the Church of Christ, for a devout birthfamily seeking to place a baby in just such a home. Spread the word, if you will! Interested parties should contact Angela at Abrazo within 3 weeks of this posting date (note: please fax your completed homestudy to 210/342-6547 in advance of a phone call, in order to meet state standards allowing us to release further information regarding this case).

And for another of our Five Abrazados (8/03), another precious baby boy to welcome and celebrate!! Our warmest greetings to this new little citizen of the world, and much love to the three parents who joined hands and hearts to provide him with the kind of joyous homecoming every little one deserves! Congratulations, all. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.

It's a nice problem to have, but we've been so busy placing babies lately, our loyal Family Services Coordinator is going to have to sacrifice one of her treasured UT football weekends to bring some new clients into the fold! Due to heavy birthparent demand for childless couples and Abrazo's nearly depleted supply of such parents-in-waiting, we are necessarily moving up our December orientation weekend to November 14-15 (2003). Especially needed, as always, are Texan homes, and prospective parents for infants and toddlers of Hispanic descent. For more information (or to make a reservation for this funfilled, fast-track weekend), please call Angela Martinez, M.S.W. at 210/342-5683, M-F, 8:30 am - 5:30 pm, and let us help launch a dream come true!

Needed soon: several loving homes for healthy biracial infants (Anglo/African-American, and African-American/Hispanic), due between Thanksgiving and Easter. Contact Angela at Abrazo for more information!

Amanda, our thoughts go out to the Philbrick family and those close to them, as they adjust to this loss of their loved one. For our Forum family, another special prayer request, received today via Abrazo's website: Please join us in thanking God for his goodness, and asking that Heavenly Parent who loves us so will continue to be with Beth, her husband and children (as well as her beloved birthson and his wonderful family), enabling her to put her fears to rest.

In response to the individual who asked that this question be answered here: yes, a thirteen or fourteen year old can relinquish a child for adoption without their parents' consent. At the present time, there is no "minimum age of consent" for adoption in Texas, meaning that a child-bearing birthparent of any age may place their child for adoption without parental permission. (Note, however, that the same is not true of abortion, as Texas lawmakers have passed rules in recent years that do require parental notification for minors seeking to terminate pregnancy.)

Just in time for the best parties of the year, the last of the Holiday Hopefuls (12/02) have taken placement of a precious and tiny baby girl, born just three days ago. They'd adopted a son elsewhere several years back, and thus had time to wait (and lucky for them that they did, because otherwise they would have missed out on the perfect angel for this year's Christmas tree.) Our heartiest congratulations to all the finished families of our Holiday Hopefuls' weekend ten months back; may they (and those brave birthparents who powered these homecomings) enjoy the most joyous of holidays this year, and their little ones, as well.

Congratulations to Doug and Jennifer, Amanda and Stacey, on the dedication of little Delaney at their church today. Bringing our children into the family of God is such an important part of parenting, and one that far too many seem to overlook. (Where is that Bible passage about all of us having been adopted into the household of faith?) How about it? Anybody out there have special details to share from their childrens' christening/baptism/dedication stories?

The stork was working overtime last night, as yet another of The Five Abrazados (8/03) moved from the ranks of Parents-In-Waiting to parents for real!, thanks to the maturity and selflessness of a teen mom and her supportive family members who'd settle for nothing less than the best for this much-loved baby girl. Kudos to all five of our August families, who have prepared so well for the adoption process that their new sons and daughters are getting home in record time! (Our enduring thanks, also, to the wonderful birthparents who make it all possible--for the kids' sake.) Speaking of wonderful, say hello to Abrazo's newest orientation graduates, the Croptoberfest Crew of 10/03, who spent this weekend with us!! There is (of course) an inside story behind this "creative" group name, so inquiring minds, watch for our newbies on the Forum to find out how it came about!

To be sung to the tune of "The Barney Song": They were two, Now they're three, What a happy family! Can their Forum friends guess who these people are? Texans, headed home by car. Yup, that's right! One of our more recent additions to the Forum has a new addition of their own: a baby boy who joined the world this past weekend and joined their family just today, with a proud aunt and great-grandparents present to welcome him, as well! They've come a long way in just 7 weeks or so (and was it really just last week that they'd worried about not getting any birthparent phone calls yet? Go figure!) To our latest Abrazados (8/03) to become "parentados," congratulations! Here's wishing you happy trails, as you travel the highways and byways of life together.

If you have a family member entering the adoption process, one of the first things you can do to help support them is to learn to "talk the talk" as they walk the walk. How we talk about adoption and the words we use are very important, because it helps shape how everybody--the child included--come to understand the process, the decision, and the future! For starters, the following "vocabulary lesson," describing how open adoption actually works: * When applicants enter Abrazo's program to adopt a child, we refer to them as "parents-in-waiting" and we encourage them to see themselves as "expecting", because having a psychological pregnancy is an essential step towards getting ready for parenting. * All adoptive applicants go through what's called a "homestudy", an important series of interviews, home inspections and background checks done by a licensed social worker, to certify that they are prepared to offer a suitable home for a child in need. *Homestudied applicants then begin receiving arranged phone calls with prospective "birthparents", usually pregnant women (and/or their partners) between the ages of 18 and 40, who are expecting a child and considering placing their child for adoption. If the parties choose to match, then they voluntarily enter into an exclusive agreement to plan together for the placement of a specific child, and begin building a vital friendship, which is intended to last for a lifetime. Note, however, that this is only a potential "getting to know you" opportunity and not a promise or guarantee of placement, because under the law, no birthmother is legally committed to adoption until relinquishment (the legal release) is done and termination (court proceedings) has occurred, neither of which can happen until a baby is more than 48 hours old. *Babies and children being released by their birthmothers for adoption are temporarily entrusted to the prospective parents-in-waiting by the agency (Abrazo) on Placement Day. The agency then applies for government approval for the child to cross state lines in a process called Interstate Compact which necessarily delays the new family's travel for at least 7-10 days, if the adopting family is not from Texas. *Then the new family gets to come home with the baby/child to meet you, the new grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. However, for the next 6-18 months, the adopting parents will be beholden to Abrazo, since the agency is still the child's legal guardian. This is is called post-placement supervision and entails a crucial process of quarterly social worker interviews, monthly progress reports, home visits and medical overview. Ongoing contact with the child's birthfamily is also very important, since it provides the child's loved ones with needed, lifelong assurance of his or her growth, happiness and wellbeing. *Once supervision is completed, Abrazo audits the case and reviews each file, to ensure that the placement is a success, and upon confirming this, the agency legally releases the family to adopt the child. The adopting parents hire and attorney and appear in court (usually in TX) to finalize their adoption-- the official beginning of that family's permanent life together. And then, hopefully, they all live happily ever after!! But what makes the words highlighted in red so essential, and what are other adoption vocabulary terms that relatives need to know? Let's turn this over to our Forum family and ask them for their valuable input!!

Lately, Abrazo has heard from a number of prospective adoptive applicants struggling with feeling ready to adopt while their spouses just "aren't there yet." Our files are bulging with completed inquiries from prospective families holding off on sending in their finished applications because one would-be parent is raring to move forward and yet the other is plagued with doubts and reservations. Anybody out there have some experience in dealing with this? How do you handle putting your dreams on hold while you wait for your partner to get on the same page? Who decides when is the "right" time? Is it "fair" to get started before both partners are on the same page at the same time, or is it unrealistic to expect that this ever really happens? If adopting (rather than being able to birth biological offspring) seems like "second choice," does that necessarily make it wrong? As one apprehensive adoptor recently asked, how do you deal with the question of whether you could truly love "someone else's child" when biology denies you the opportunity to experience "your own" baby? What could we (as the Forum community) do to help support prospective parents during this difficult time? And for any Forumites who are now parenting but were previously the reluctant or less-ready participant, what insight could you offer as to facing fears and getting ready and knowing when is the "right" time to move forward?

The Abrazo staff add its prayers, as well, and sends healing thoughts out to Jeri and her loved ones!

Hallelujah! Just one month after attending our 8/03 orientation, the first of The Five Abrazados have been blessed with their firstborn, and this precious new baby girl is, truly, heavensent! Lifted on wings of prayer by their church, this couple found their way to Abrazo with a bit of divine intervention via one very special Forum member (you know who you are!) Daunted by the costs of adopting, their church family graciously pitched in, unaware that the Good Lord already had a miracle in store for them. With the help of many angels along the way and across the country, He has surely brought His purposes to pass! We thank God for His guidance and providence, for His loving watch over both the birthcouple and adopting parents, and for His gift of this special new daughter for this dear and deserving young family. (Amen!!) Psalms 127:3, 128:1-6: "Children are a gift from God, they are His reward... blessings on all who trust the Lord and obey Him. Their reward shall be prosperity and happiness. Your wife shall be contented in your home. And look at the children! There they sit around your dinner table, vigorous and healthy.... That is God's reward to those who revere and trust Him. May the Lord continually bless you with heaven's blessings, as well as human joys. May you live to enjoy your grandchildren!"

Shower singers, unite in chorus! as yet another lucky couple from our 4/03 orientation, Bruce's Great 8 Posse took placement today, granting them the best possible reason to be bursting with song and sweet lullabies! It's "California, Here I Come" for this newborn, redheaded daughter of two proud mommas, two supportive pappas and one grown birthsister who played a big part in making it all "Come Together".* Here's hoping these new kin will be joyfully singing "We Are Family" at the top of their lungs for many wonderful years to come. Because as we all know, "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes." And that's what drives our staff to work so diligently to bring this about, for all who put their faith in us and let us do our best for them. *Special thanks, too, to the Forum member who referred her relatives to Abrazo and supported them throughout their brief journey with us!

The first time they came to Texas, they were childless, hopeful and scared--but this time, they're leaving Texas as proud parents, pinching themselves to be sure it's for real (since they just found out they were coming back to pick up their newborn son a little over 24 hours ago!!) Nonetheless, they hung up the phone, jumped on a plane and became a first-time mom and dad right away! Congratulations to these elated Junebuggies of 6/03, and kudos to all who made this happen: one loving birthmom, a very supportive birthaunt, and also, Abrazo's willing weekend workers (who forfeited fun in the sun, to ensure this family's begun!!) Go, team!

He just turned two, has blonde hair and blue eyes, and needs a loving adoptive family to provide the sort of stable home and secure future his birthparents want for him. If you (or someone you know) is homestudy-approved for toddlers and ready for placement, please contact Angela at Abrazo for more information on this precious little boy.

BOY-OH BOY-OH BOY, it's another BOY for another of our againers, as these graduates from the 2/03 orientation, Los Misionarios add a second son to their Texas family tree. May he grow up strong and steady, proud of his roots and sure of his wings; may his life honor those who made life's greatest choices on his behalf, and may he stand tall in the light of the Lone Star, always. Heartiest salutations to this fine young fella and his happy new family, and our loving commendations to the birthcouple who made it all happen.

Angela_FSC, please know we are asking the One who heals all life's hurts to watch over your friend Joey, his wife and daughters as they face this frightening diagnosis. We wish them comfort, peace and the assurance that they are very much loved and not alone as he begins the treatment process! The Abrazo staff also asks our Forum friends to keep in mind a very special little girl named Sarah. Adopted here at birth, she is in CA this week, visiting "Wheel of Fortune" and meeting Vanna White (during a trip made possible by the generosity of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.) We ask God's blessing upon her and her loving family, through whatever additional journeys their future holds.

THINK PINK! They were gearing up for snails and pails and puppy dog tails, but the adoption process is full of surprizes and this week, an excited Texas couple joined their birthmom in the delivery room to greet not a son but a brand new daughter! Hurrah for these graduates of Bruce's Great 8 Posse and the new, proud big sis! And best wishes to all our 4/03 orientation grads, who moved one family closer to group completion today, with this placement of yet another beautiful baby girl.

Just two months ago, they spent the weekend with us at orientation... just ten days ago, they spent the weekend at Camp Abrazo with their darling daughter (and one particularly beloved Forum grandma!), cuddling other folks' Abrazotots in the Baby Corral... and as of today, they are cradling one of their own, a precious little boy who entered the world just this past weekend! (And they couldn't have happened to a nicer baby!) Joyous salutations to our newest success story, this wonderful family who hail from the Junebuggies of 6/03... and Godspeed to all our other gonna-be's out there!