Stork Central
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It wasn't baby dust, B.O.G. hint-dropping nor Abrazo magic that brought today's miracle about, but rather, good old-fashioned Divine Intervention, which enabled one conscientious birthmom to free her chosen aps from their match with her--just in time to make them available for another birthmom, elsewhere, who delivered the very next week!
So it is that another lucky couple from our Los Nuevos Familias orientation weekend (8/02) have become parents, with this morning's placement of a tiny, newborn boy. We send loving wishes to both birthmothers, and to all those like them out there, who seek better lives for their children and in doing so, also help make dreams come true for our parents-in-waiting.
(And while we're at it, a special word of thanks to the heavenly host for watching over all our efforts and bringing Abrazo the very nicest of clients!! Amen!)
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"To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time for every purpose under heaven...."
The season may still be winter, and the holidays may have just ended... but just weeks after completing our 12/02 orientation, the first of our Holiday Hopefuls have come back to Texas to bestow abrazos y besitos (hugs & kisses) upon a precious new daughter, born unexpectedly this past weekend. Abrazo againers, these faithful alum had been preparing themselves for a much longer wait...but God had other plans in store, and tonight, they are a family of four! We send loving congratulations out to them, and best wishes to those who've shared in both their first and second orientation and placement experiences.
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Launch the fireworks, dig out the noisemakers and fling the confetti--our first baby of 2003 is safe and sound in the arms of her startled new parents tonight (and they're still pinching themselves to be sure she's for real!!) This precious New Year's Eve arrival went to the last of The Mamas & The Papas II, and met her new parents just weeks before the first anniversary of their 1/02 orientation weekend.
It was a year that took this faithful young couple through unforeseen challenges and some of life's greatest tests, but they were people of strength and grace and goodness, and she's a lucky little girl to have them as her very own Mama & Papa! Our heartfelt congratulations to this special new family of three, and a special word of thanks to the very dear birthcouple who made this miracle possible for all three of them.
The best things in life, as they say, truly are worth waiting for. If you're still waiting, that means the best thing in life is still headed your way. Just watch what happens! and make the most of every step along the path. Because here's to great happenings in 2003!
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Congratulations to three more families, for whom "bubbles" will have a whole new meaning this New Year's Eve, as they celebrate with precious new little end-of-year arrivals!
It's a bouncing baby boy for some recent Forum newcomers, whose infant son found his way home, even before they could find their way to orientation... while a single mom from our March 02 orientation weekend, Sleepless in San Antonio, took placement today of a tiny new daughter... and a duo of docs from Los Nueve Familias (August 02) welcome a preemie princess just born Saturday into their hearts and lives.
Happy New Year to these and all our beloved Abrazo kinfolk, past, present and future. We ask God's continued blessings over all, in 2003 and beyond!!
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Just in time for Christmas, a baby girl for two doctors from our 5/02 orientation, The DreamTeam 02. She's 3 days old, gorgeous to boot, and sure to teach them a thing or two about patience (get it? patients?)... the perfect prescription for the happiest-ever holidays! Here's wishing all our new moms 'n dads as well as those soon-to-be's much Christmas cheer and sugarplum dreams (as well as babies who sleep through the night!!) Congrats!
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NEW PROSPECTIVE PARENTS ARE NEEDED FOR 2003!!
Abrazo's ranks of adoptive parents in 2002 is quickly dwindling, due to the number of parents-in-waiting who have successfully matched and/or placed this year, and the agency is in need of additional adoptive families to meet our anticipated number of children needing loving homes in 2003!!
Our Texas (in-state) families have placed particularly quickly this year, as have our childless couples who are bicultural (of Hispanic and Anglo or Anglo-Hispanic descent) or biracial (one spouse being Anglo and the other African-American). Singles open to children of part or full African-American background have become parents in record time. And Abrazo continues to need adoptive applicants who are open to full Hispanic infants, or toddlers and sibling groups.
If you are looking to adopt, we hope you're looking at Abrazo! We've helped nearly a thousand folks get on their way to parenting since 1994, and we need more great families to continue the tradition. For more information or 2003 orientation dates (starting with February!) please call our family services coordinator, Angela, at 210/342-LOVE and see if our programs fit your needs. Hope to hear from you!
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Great advice, linlacor! (And good thing you got your homestudy ducks all in order when you did! For those who are new here, skip over to "Parents in Waiting" to the "Lance & Lisa's Beautiful Daughter" topic and find out why! )
"Fairy tales do come true, it could happen to you..."
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Their forum screen name started with "Ready" and so they were, having voluntarily joined us for Camp Abrazo, a month before their orientation weekend, and then giving up their Thanksgiving dinner with their own families to spend the weekend with an anxious birthfather, his family, and a birthmom who knew in her heart that adoption was best. Today, they are journeying home with their newborn son, and we send out special congratulation to our 10/02 orientation grads, The Great BambinoFest, as they welcome new babe and parents to their ranks. Ho ho ho! (And the season's only starting...!) Best baby wishes to all out there!!
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...And miracles do so abound! They'd wondered if they might dare to hope to be parents by this time next year--but Santa paid them an early visit, filling their stocking with sugar and spice and everything nice--and tonight, one of our beloved Forum families and graduates of Los Nueve Familias (8/02) welcome a newborn daughter into their circle of love. We couldn't be happier for them (or her!) and we send warm wishes, yuletide greetings and quick Compact karma their way (and your way, too, if you're still "in-waiting"-- your turn will come!)
"...How silently, how silently the wondrous gift is given! And God impart to human hearts the blessings of His heaven." Phillips Brooks, 1868
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Newest addition to our Baby Announcements: Babies, we're Announcing our newest parents-in-waiting, the Holiday Hopefuls, graduates of Abrazo's last orientation weekend of 2002!! Welcome aboard to these fine folks, who have joined the ranks of our fourteen other couples with high hopes of being moms and dads by this time next year. This is, after all, a season known for great miracles... wishing all of you the best of both! Seasons' Greetings!
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Lately we've been hearing lots of homestudy questions from prospective clients--what they consist of, how they're done, who does them, how much they cost... so how about we post some basics for newbies, then invite veteran Forumites with real-life homestudy experiences to share their insights and suggestions?
The homestudy is an official report done by a Master's level, licensed social worker in your home state and submitted to Abrazo for approval before you can match and/or place. We require that homestudies for couples involve no less than 5 face-to-face interviews with all household members (individually and jointly) and a home inspection, conducted in the course of no less than three separate calendar dates.
Texas standards require that agency-approved studies cover a total of 22 specified topics and they just changed the topical requirements in May 2002, so be sure any social worker you're considering knows the latest requirements!!! The original study expires six months from the date of the last visit; after that, an update visit done within 30 days prior to placement and citing all 22 topics and any changes must be on file approved by Abrazo before the adopting parents arrive for placement. Once you've had an acceptable homestudy done, if you seek to adopt a year or more later, Texas standards do not require that a whole new study be done--only an update, with supporting documents updated as well. This should cost considerably less than the full study.
That's the dry stuff--now onto more interesting feedback from the "Home/studied Team" out there. What kind of questions did your homestudy worker ask? What kinds of fees were you quoted when shopping around for homestudies? How did you decide who to hire? What did you hide just before the worker arrived at your house? (Better yet, what'd you forget to put away and hope she didn't notice?) What do you wish you'd known before starting the study? What could you have nuked your spouse for saying during the interviews?
Did anybody out there actually endure a "white glove" test? (Most homestudy workers out there today probably have pretty lax housekeeping standards themselves and would be appalled to have their clients see their own homes.)
Did your worker allow you to read the study before it was finished, or give you a copy to keep? If so, what did you think of what was said about you? (An interesting sidenote: birthparents have no access to the homestudy unless their adoptive family specifically asks that they be provided a copy--would you? Why or why not?)
One veteran homestudy worker we know always used to try to schedule visits over meal hours in hopes of getting fed! while another complained about East Coast adoptors wanting to entertain him with home videos of their nephews' bris-- a brilliant Yiddish technique for keeping in-home social worker's visits short, we suspect!!
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And over the Thanksgiving weekend, yet two more precious little blue-blanketed reasons to give thanks!... as another of The Mamas & The Papas (1/02) welcome their baby boy into the world, and another of Los Nueve Familias (8/02) say first hellos to their newborn son! (Both adopting couples were blessed to attend their baby's birth, and were equally fortunate to have the opportunity to get to know (and love) not just their sons' birthmoms, but birthpapas, too!) Loving wishes go out to all eight proud parents, and their oh-so-handsome little boy babies. We're happy for you all, and grateful for the bridges you have built, together, leading your sons on to secure horizons. Vaya con Dios!
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Los Nueve Abrazos (8/02) have another little blessing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, as another of their own have become proud parents, as of today! Having taken placement this morning, the happy new mom and dad are headed for home with their dear baby boy, born this past weekend. They're setting another place at the holiday table this year, and promise to keep all our other parents-in-waiting out there in their thoughts and prayers. Blessings to all those who harbor the kind of faith that moves mountains!!
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Life is looking pretty in pink for our newest parents, the second of the DreamTeam '02 (May 2002) to make their pilgrimmage to Texas to meet their new little family members. Fresh out of the hospital, they're counting their lucky stars in a local hotel this evening (and they're so swept up in the preciousness of their precious newborn daughter, they probably won't even mind if Interstate Compact can't get them home before Thanksgiving this year!)
As for the rest of our parents-in-waiting, we join you in counting our many blessings this year, and hoping you'll have one more to add to that list long before this time next year. Keep the faith! And Happy Turkey Day to all of our Forum friends, wherever it may find you.
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Whether you are pregnant and considering adoption, terminating the pregnancy, single parenting, placing a child in the care of a relative or extended family member, or foster care placement, here is a list of things to think about, from adoption expert Sharon Kaplan-Roszia:
1) In what way is this situation a problem for me?
2) What do I already know about the option I am considering?
(for example, adoption) What more do I need to know about it?
3) Do I know anyone who's been involved in adoption before? What words come to mind when I think of adoption?
4) How will those close to me feel if I place my child for adoption? Can I handle those reactions? How do my religious beliefs affect this decision?
5) Will I be able to tell others about my adoption? What does my culture have to say about adoption? Is that important to me?
6) Will I be able to forgive myself, and for what? What will I feel responsible for?
7) Will I be able to forgive my baby's other parent if I make this decision, and for what?
8) If I could have this situation turn out in an ideal way, what would that look like? What would keep this from happening? Can those things be changed?
9) What other kinds of losses have I suffered? How have I resolved them? How will this affect me?
10) What kind of ongoing contact am I thinking about? How much and how often?
11) What will placing this child for adoption do to my other relationships?
12) What will I tell my other children about this decision? Do I plan on being honest with them in the future? How would not being honest with them possibly affect our relationship?
13) Can I tolerate the idea of someone else raising my child? How do I feel about my child growing up away from me?
14) What does it mean to me to be a good parent? What does it mean to have a good parent?
15) Who will support me emotionally and financially if I choose adoption?
16) What can I bring to this experience from my prior losses in life?
Are there other questions you could add to this list, that may help prepare you for whatever plan you decide is best?
Abrazo's compassionate counselors are available around the clock to assist loving birthparents explore these and other concerns. If you are considering placing a child for adoption and need someone to talk to, call us day or night, at 1-800-454-5683 in TX (or call collect from out of state, M-F: 210/342-LOVE.) You talk, we'll listen... you decide, we'll respect your choice... because you & your baby both matter at Abrazo.
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Well, they were dancing in the streets in Dallas last night, as yet another couple from our 1/02 weekend, The Mamas & The Papas II, welcomed their new baby boy home, bringing that orientation group just two more families from "done" (so to all our friends out in Forumland, please keep the remaining and much-deserving Mama-And-Papa-To-Bes in your prayers as they anxiously await the new sons and/or daughters who will so surely have been well worth the wait!)
A special word of thanks, as well, to another wonderful pair of Parents-in-Waiting, who recently donated more than a dozen newspaper ads across Texas to help birthparents seeking quality adoption services find their way to Abrazo. Several new callers this week said they'd found Abrazo as a direct result of this couple's outreach on the agency's behalf-- a gift of love that may result in better choices and brighter futures for precious babies in need. We so appreciate your help in spreading the good word about adoption at Abrazo, and we send our heartfelt gratitude to these generous folks (you know who you are!) Bless you!
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And a happy, hearty welcome to our other "new arrivals", the graduates of our latest orientation group, The Great BambinoFest, who came through this past weekend and had a special opportunity to meet an overjoyed new mom who was supposed to have attended the event until baby boy Nathan came into her life unexpectedly, just a week or two before.
The Friday night session got out early (can you believe it?) but these folks stayed up talking on the hotel patio until 12:30 am, preparing themselves for those late night feedings, no doubt! Our newest moms-to-be spent part of their lunch hour on Saturday at Babies-R-Us stocking up, while the expectant dads caught the tail end of the day's big football game. (How all- American is that?!) And somewhere out there are the lucky little ones meant to join these (and all our other) wonderful and ready homes. We hope they do not IF, not WHEN but SOON! Bienvenidos, all!
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An interesting dilemma... a birthmom who placed some years ago has since found Mr. Right and they are expecting a new little someone. The birthmom's mother has kept in touch with the adoptive family (and the granddaughter who was placed for adoption even served as flower girl at her birthmomma's wedding). However, the birthgrandma is now struggling with her daughter's new pregnancy (and the fact that the birthmom is hiding the news from the adoptive family because she doesn't know how to tell them). Birthgrandma is questioning her daughter's right to get pregnant again after all the last experience put them through. Both the birthmom and her mother are worried that the child who was placed may feel rejected (the why-did-they-keep-this-baby-but-not-me thing.) And both are concerned that the beloved adoptive family, who has tried to adopt again without success, may be hurt or secretly resentful that the new sibling will not be joining their home as well. Suggestions, anyone?
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Can anyone offer feedback for single mothers who may feel limited to seeking adoption of girls only for fear of not knowing how to adequately meet the emotional needs of little boys? (Or vice versa?)
Single adoptive parents often approach the process compelled to take placement only of a child of their own gender, which can complicate the adoption process considerably. It eliminates half of their possible placement opportunities (already limited, sadly, by the fewer numbers of birthparents willing to consider a single-parent home) and potentially deprives a baby in need of a great home just because of his or her gender.
Do children in single parent homes have a stronger need to be raised only by a parent of their own gender? Are there advantages to growing up with just one parent, of the opposite sex? What challenges do those "in the ranks" find themselves facing as single parents raising kids of the same (or opposite) gender, and how do you manage to give your children the best of both worlds anyhow?
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It doesn't happen all the time, but every so often, the stork gets off schedule and makes his delivery before our next available orientation weekend! and so it is that just one week before she was to have become a "Parent of Tomorrow," one of our Forum folks has had the miraculous opportunity to become a parent--yesterday!
So it is that the blossom of a dream planted in a loving garden years ago and nurtured here, online, has sprouted and we send bouquets of best wishes to one precious baby boy, one very proud new mom, and all the Forum friends who helped orient her and offer the support and encouragement the Abrazo adoption community is known for!! Bless you all.
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Since it seems so many prospective birthparents who visit this site are more comfortable reading than posting, let's offer them a new source of information: testimonials from those who have made loving adoption decisions on behalf of children and who live with the consequences of these decisions, secure in the certainty that as hard as it was, they did the right thing.
Which is not to say that adoption is the right choice for everyone, nor does it guarantee that by giving one's child a brighter future that things turn out better for the birthparent involved. (Let's be honest... that can go either way. And in the final analysis, life is what you make it.)
But for those in crisis who are new to all this and may need a reassuring word from others in-the-know, how about some short testimonials, including answers to these basic questions:
1) This is why I needed to make adoption plans when I did...
2) This is how I found Abrazo & why I chose this agency...
3) This is how my decisions have benefitted my child...
4) This is the encouragement I'd offer others in my shoes...
Thank you, to both those who read and those who write. You have much to offer the world. We wish you clarity and certainty and comfort... and peace. For you and your children, whatever your choices!
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If you've been hearing the sounds of lots of whooping and hollering in the air since our August orientation, it's the sound of a fiesta, celebrating the fact that another of the Los Nueve Abrazos, 8/02 have reason to party, with the arrival of a precious baby boy in SC. Yippee! Dos done, y siete to go... vamanos, familias!
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Many of you have asked about "A Prayer for Children" which we use as our grace before lunch at our Parents-of-Tomorrow orientation weekends. It was written by Ina Hughs, and can be found in her 1995 book by the same title, published by Simon & Schuster.
A Prayer For Children
We pray for children who give us sticky kisses, who hop rocks and chase butterflies, who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants, who sneak Popsicles before supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who can never find their shoes
And we pray for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire, who've never squeaked across the floor in new sneakers, who've never "counted potatoes," who are born in places we wouldn't be caught dead, who never go to the circus, who live in an x-rated world.
We pray for children who bring us fistfuls of dandelions and sing off-key, who have goldfish funerals, build card-table forts, who slurp their cereal on purpose, who get gum in their hair, put sugar in their milk, who spit toothpaste all over the sink, who hug us for no reason, who bless us each night.
And we pray for those who never get dessert, who watch their parents watch them die, who have no safe blanket to drag behind, who can't find any bread to steal, who don't have any rooms to clean up, whose pictures aren't on anybody's dressers, whose monsters are real.
We pray for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday, who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food, who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the bed and never rinse out the tub, who get quarters from the tooth fairy, who don't like to be kissed in front of the car pool, who squirm in church and scream in the phone, whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime, who will eat anything, who have never seen a dentist, who aren't spoiled by anybody, who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep, who live and move but have no being.
We pray for children who want to be carried and for those who must. For those we never give up on., and for those who don't have a chance. For those we smother, and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer.
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All hail Los Nuevo Abrazos, the nine happy and exhausted couples who are now back home, safe and sound and ready to go, after our whirlwind August 2002 orientation event this past weekend! Welcome, all... now get your profiles in and your homework done, so you'll be ready for all the wonderful changes life is about to send your way in the course of the next year or so.
And our heartiest congratulations to the first of this group to find the "ifs" turned to "whens", new friends who are leaving our fair state with one more son and daughter than they came with (having taken placement of a precious sibling group, just today!) We wish them Godspeed on their Interstate Compact and safe passage on the highways, as they travel homeward with their newly-expanded and oh-so-beautiful family of six.
NEW PARENTS NEEDED!
in Looking to Adopt
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It's a nice problem to have, but a problem nonetheless... after a flurry of matches and placements, Abrazo is in need of new adoptive families!!
We have a particular need for childless couples, especially from Texas, and have nearly depleted our supply of families awaiting children of full Hispanic descent.
Abrazo currently has only a half dozen families still "in-waiting", and more than three times as many birthmoms waiting to find the adoptive parents of their dreams, for babies due between now and June!
Please help us spread the word... our next orientation weekend is the first week in April, and interested candidates should call Angela at Abrazo to get the necessary paperwork in place before then! Thanks, all.