1st x grandma

Welcome baby Dylan.. Congrats to all who love you!

Yeah...AMEN!!! to the not THAT COLD WEATHER!!! I almost froze in Maryland last Christmas...burr too cold for me... Posting has become a real challenge for me... can't access the site from any of my computers, tablet or phones from home.... (Steven and I couldn't figure out what happened) so I can only access from work (sshhh our secret) When I have time.. or my cell when away from home, but typing on that small screen gives me a headache (I'm too slow on it) ha ha... Have a great weekend and stay warm... hum, maybe I'll contact Paula to make me a poncho from one of her beautiful blankets, she just needs to add a hole where my head goes...Ok never mind... it's been a LONG week.. So ready for the weekend...

Getting frustrated already with this cold weather.. (not the weather's fault though)... these last two cold spells are making me HATE coats even more.. Two brand new blazers/short jackets.. a leather one and a wool one I bought two years ago do not fit...ugh... I think I will start looking for a nice pancho style winter cover up instead of replacing with more jackets....

Just wanted to take a moment to wish all forum family and your families a very BLESSED Thanksgiving. Stay warm, stay safe, Eat until your heart's delight and HAPPY SHOPPING for those of you brave souls that will venture out this weekend..

thank you!!

Thought I would jump on here before I leave work to post... Thank you for all the BD wishes... Had a beautiful and good day yesterday...

Amen!!! congrats on the arrival of your daughter...God has wrapped up this little angel for parents with an enormous amount of Patience and love..

Many prayers for the new family created... An abundance of prayers for this beautiful little jewel God has graced the world with.

Good morning Steven, you beat me to the post I was going to put on the Forum Thread.. Help!!! If you can…. Lol, it’s just one of those things.. but don’t want to take your time away from your precious family.. Problem trying to get onto Abrazo from home, I can’t access from desk top, wi fi laptop computer or phone.. I can access from phone if I am away from home and utilize my mobile carrier connection, and currently can access from work computer (ssshh, which is how I’m sending this message). This is the message it is giving me when I try to log on. the connection has timed out The server at abrazo.org is taking too long to respond. The site could be temporarily unavailable or too busy. Try again in a few moments. If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer's network connection. If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure that Firefox is permitted to access the Web. Nothing had been changed manually since I last logged in from home. .. I did clear out all history, cookies, cache after problem arose.. After the changes to the forum a while back I was only able to access through Firefox or Chrome, now neither work. My connection is good, can access other sites, my Firefox has permission, any other suggestions I can try tonight and see if I can fix this? Thanks in advance with any help you can provide, and sorry for being a pain on the back side

This is horrible, had to take a short break at work to get on here ... So many good things going on here!!!! So many post I want to put my TWO DIMES in... But my home computers will still not let me access anything on Abrazo..

I wish I could get back on from home or at least my phone...Cus I have no plans on staying the night at work to access the forum

Got BACK on (at least on my work computer . .I'll have to check this evening if my home desk top and lap top are working..

Today will be my third day of my first week of physical therapy... I knew my arm was stiff, but lordy didn't realize how much... But looking ahead at four weeks down the line..

Lol..... men aren't as subtle as us women I nor my daughter have a sweet tooth, Thank goodness for that because my faves are items with chocolate.. Oreos, Little Debbie cup cakes, fudge brownies, chocolate on chocolate cakes, M & M's w/peanuts or almonds....BOSTON CREAM PIE...YUMMM...so it is great that only every once in a long while I will treat myself to a treat, if not I'd be a full blown diabetic I think.. I did bake the pie Sunday it's a recipe I got from an Amish book (by the way some of their recipes are extremely high in molasses like their Shoofly pie and stuff, wonder how many of them are diabetics)... this one is a chocolate chip (of course) and pecan one. I had my husband try it first though he's like the old Mikey commercials, he'll eat anything just about.. I waited til the next day (just in case) and tried a piece, came out pretty good, not too sweet either.. My daughter calls it the chocolate chip cookie pie because that's what it looks like and the outer texture taste like.. So looks like my family will finally get a dessert for THANKSGIVING, baked by me ...

Congrats to all.. Keeping all who love this precious babe in my thoughts and prayers.

What a beautiful announcement on such a beautiful day!! Congrats to all who love this precious jewel. Keeping each one of her family members in my prayers.

Ah, well I am not a baker any more.. those years passed me LONG LONG ago. Other then helping Lauranda with her Banana Nut Bread for Christmas I stay away from any baking .. but I found a pie recipe that I want to make for Thanksgiving.. I'm thinking I will make it this weekend FIRST and use Lauranda and her dad as guinea pigs to try it out... I sure hope it passes inspection!!!!!

Dear Ellen, Since I couldn’t find your blog, I am placing this post to you here… Lov ya… Oh sweetie, I am so behind on reading posts on the forum, and reading your latest post last night made me sad, my heart goes out to you. You DO need to take the time and take care of YOU and precious Naomi, I am sure C’s parents understand this, and you don’t have to worry about her because she is being taken good care of. As long as you continue to move forward and continue to look for and take advantage of any resources to better yours and Naomi’s life to get to that place of peace is your first priority right now. Maybe somewhere down the road you will be in a place where you can truly have an open relationship with C and her family. My prayers are that neither side closes the doors to this possibility, but to give you the time to tend to your needs with love, compassion and understanding. Sweetie, I would hate for you to withhold your great insight that only one who has walked in your shoes can offer to another in the same situation. We already have so few of you brave souls here. You, Lisa, Jada, Krystal and Elicia were the first ones whose experience and willingness to share even when the story was not so pretty and happy go lucky helped me so MUCH understand a little better what my own child was going through. How to put an action plan together to help her get through that very hard first year. You have been impacted with this placement by also being a young single mom, trying to raise a child (toddler) without much if any family support. My daughter was impacted that first LONG year not only dealing with entrustment and all the raw emotion that goes with that, but also dealing with having freshly gone through major brain surgery and all the affects of that. I on the other hand, BUT as I have mentioned here before and as recently as this past weekend to some fine folks, can in NO WAY compare my heartache of my grand-daughter’s entrustment to my child’s or any first parent’s heartache, But I was also dealing with other stuff that LONG first year. Not sure if you remember my post to you a while back about not staying in that house of darkness, not making it your permanent residence, making sure it was only a short pit stop for you. I was there many times that first year, jumping in and out at times with no warning. Watching my daughter hurt and then trying to keep her stress level and agitation as minimal as possible like her doctors had instructed which was vital to her healing from her brain surgery was the toughest thing that had been put on my shoulders. As a mother I knew I had to do it, I had to be strong for my child no matter what or how I felt. Many times I felt like a single parent trying to keep things going alone because my spouse couldn’t handle it, they say men are stronger then woman, but not when it comes to emotional stuff. His way of dealing with my daughters brain surgery and then placement was to be gone most of the time on “church social events” where I was the one keeping the home front going and helping my daughter relearn many things, home school her and deal with stuff. I had many a day when it took all the strength I had and could muster up to keep my head above the waves of emotion and feeling of despair, many times due to lack of sleep because I had spent night after night keeping vigil over her. At times I literally felt like I had to claw and crawl my way out of that dark hole too many times, more than I care to remember. Some nights as I watched her sleep restlessly, I wondered if we were ever going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Some days the only outlet for me was getting in the shower and bawling my eyes out and allowing my whole body to wrench with the pain of it all. Eventually we made it through, none of it has been easy, but hard work, persistence, determination and the willingness not to give up helped us along the way. And you know sitting here typing this right now I just realized I have never outside of this forum and one other group I belong to have really talked about any of this. I’ve never sat with anyone from my family nor any of the few really close friends I have and bared my heart and soul on any of this. But if it weren’t for people like you and the other first parents that have allowed me and others to see your hurt, strength, courage and vulnerability I would not have had the courage and strength to show mine. You are a valuable piece of this community, I am so sorry you feel you are not safe here, because that would mean none of us on the not so pretty side of this journey are. Take time to heal, you deserve it. Much love to you and thank you for all the strength you and other first mom’s have given me and my daughter.

Thank you sweetie, I am TOO glad in finding relief for my arm… I cut down some rosebushes Monday for brush pick up and planted a small tree, then re-arranged some kitchen shelves… Felt so good to be able to get it done. I really need to get back to exercising, the numbers on that darn scale have been creeping up in the last six months.. Guess just walking and portion control for me is not doing it. And I view you as my surrogate daughter.. I think you may be able to tell by my responses to some of your post, I try to be as gentle but as honest and forward as I would be with my own two girls. There is nothing I have told you that I wouldn’t tell them. As well as at times no words seem to be needed from me so I only offer you a hug as I do with my girls at times when they want to just share and no need for mom’s advice or to try and fix anything, so I listen and then embrace them in a hug. I love you too kiddo, you have a special place in my heart as do your kiddos.. I also intend to come back hopefully later this evening or tomorrow and comment on Merae’s post on your thread.. Been putting much thought in her post (which is what I try to do with certain topics before I post).. she brought up some good things that sent my mind back through the last four plus years and I hope to be able to shed some light on how we got from then to now. Hugs to ya and precious princess Naomi …

Thank you Carissa for your sweet comments, sorry you lost some sleep.. I do have to come back and finish, just haven’t MADE the time to do so.. Ah__ yes that first orientation___ I remember sitting there with some of the most amazing first parents including my daughter and thinking how vulnerable and protective of their tender hearts they seemed, yet in the mist of it all how much strength, courage and selflessness they possessed to make that ultimate sacrifice, and at the same time being so giving of themselves to share their stories face to face to help PIWs better understand a first parents heart/heartache. FPs were all at different levels and places in their journey and their willingness to share their experience gave me an even higher level of respect for them. It was also amazing to see PIWs who’s compassion and own vulnerability showed through their /your eyes and many seemed to open their hearts to embrace these brave souls, almost as if a new and deeper awareness had taken hold of them and their hearts. Anyway.. back to my granddaughter’s parents being chosen.. My daughter and I whole heartily believe things happen for a reason; God sends/gives us signs to guide us if we are open and observant and still ourselves long enough to listen and see. We had looked through many profiles, none of which were from Texas which is what my daughter really wanted, so she had kinda settled for three at the time. It was a Friday I called Abrazo and spoke with Pamela letting her know we would be going by the office the following week to drop off the ones that were not chosen and asked again about any Texas families, she put me on hold for a bit then came back to the phone, she had just opened up a profile that had arrived shortly before my call and it was a Texas couple. When we went to the office the following week to drop off profiles and pick up the profile that had come in my daughter was given a second Texas couple’s profile that had become available within those few days after my call.. What were the chances, first none now two.. This was going to be tough we both thought …. Weighing pros and cons on the way home as she scanned them both and we talked about them... She liked both couples, we both spoke to them, but what she went back to was what she first noticed in the nursery picture of one of the profiles and she said “look mom, this could be it, this may be my sign” that was the beginning of what led my daughter to her daughter’s parents. The item in the nursery that caught her attention immediately and was what she felt to be a sign for her was a …………..ready……drum roll…….just kidding, but really it was A LARGE STUFFED LION.. Yes, a lion!!…. My daughter is a Leo and she loves lions… I know it may sound kinda cheesy to some, but when you have the level of Faith she had (has) at coming through the experience of not only her but her child as well almost dying two months prior she felt that God’s hand was continuing to guide her. BTW, had to check out the much talked about profile. Cover page is great!! Keeping positive thoughts going yals way…

Woke up Friday feeling MUCH MUCH better... only area of soreness was site of injection with a little swelling.. By Saturday even that was gone... arm a little on the tight side, but I hope once I get my last injection and get the physical therapy my range of motion and tightness will improve 100% (ok I'll take 99%).. I'm sure it's like that because when it hurt so bad I would try and not move it if I didn't have to... unfortunately it's might right arm and I'm right handed so I dealt with it.. .. Thanks for you thoughts and good wishes..

Thank you ladies…. Will unfortunately the darn SEMI hit me head on, this time accompanied by headaches and nausea. The good thing is that by tomorrow morning most of my symptoms should subside, the down side is I go through it all over again in two weeks.. But I am hopeful that after it’s all said and done, my arm will be a heck of a lot better and I can start physical therapy and then quickly back to doing basic things like gardening, working on my jewelry (especially with Christmas around the corner), washing my hair without wincing in pain, just those everyday things we take for granted at times, oh yeah and SLEEPING better, tired of my dark circles and huge bags under my eyes.. I don’t know much about Fibromyalgia, or some of those other conditions that cause your entire body head to toes to be so painful and sensitive to the slightest touch but the little that I’ve been exposed to (mostly commercials) I really feel for people who deal with this on a daily bases. Something else to just give me a whole new appreciation for my health..

Thank you ladies... so far so good this morning... bracing myself for later today and tomorrow.. keeping my fingers crossed though that i don't hurt like the last time.. Hope that semi that hit me them takes a detour this time...

How about lovely longevitist?? Hummm, not bad Jessica... I had been thinking along the lines of lovelishis... but then thought sounded too much like an adult video star .. so back to the drawing board I went.. Thank you Beth, I go for my second injection Monday..this time I will be better prepared for the side effects a few days later.. The first one has helped some, but unfortunately I didn't get to my goal of 90%.. maybe with this second one, keeping those positive thoughts going..

Thank you all… We had a nice late lunch early dinner Sunday and really just hung out being lazy most of the day which was great (that comfortable old shoe syndrome thing).. Karen, Suzi, Lol, I wish I could figure out Why it is that men are told they look Distinguished and women look old.. though I know the "Women are like wine, the older they get the better they are"... But we have to find a knock out Word that conveys all of this.. Although silver streaks don't bother me since I've had them since I was born, it's just those darn wiry ones that stand up like antennas on top of the head that irk me.