Garden of Hope

Congratulations Michelle and Mike on taking the first very important step to becoming parents. You will be amazed and delighted with the efficiency and speed with which Abrazo works. The military status should not affect you at all unless particular birthmothers have a bias or negative regarding that lifestyle. To some, it could be a plus due to the travel advantages and cultural exposure a military family has. Encouraging words: I never dreamed I could actually be a mom after ten years of trying to conceive with my husband, two disrupted adoption plans with another agency and then finally, my decision to become single again. But low and behold, I called Abrazo because a friend had adopted through them and said they did work with singles. I called in June, sent in my inquiry shortly thereafter, had my application in by the end of July, my son was born Sept. 9, 2002 and was in my arms and home on October 2, 2002. Hard to believe, I know. But like others have said, Abrazo is NOT like other agencies. They are literally angels on Earth. So, I would suggest that if you're anxious, call and talk to either Angela or Elizabeth and I'll bet they will ease your mind and get you totally excited about the reality of the fact that with Abrazo it's not if, but when......... I'm so glad you posted and hope that you will continue to do so. We've all been parents in waiting at some point and some of us still are. Welcome to the Abrazo Forum. We're glad you're here. Jean

Congratulations to all of Phillyfamily. I love your story, which your children will enjoy telling over and over again! Congratulations. And congratulations to the Montana family who found their dream in Texas. (Like so many of us!) Congratulations! Seems like lots of againers are placing. Three cheers for the growing families.

Marcela and Carmela, What an exciting trip you have had and what amazing big sisters you are going to be! L.J. sounds adorable! Please keep posting so we will all know how you and your new baby brother are doing. I love the kid's eye view, Elizabeth. Thanks!

It has been my experience that things move very quickly at Abrazo especially if you fit the need of the current unmatched birthmothers that are working with the agency. Call Angela and check it out!

Claudia, You and Marcelo are very wise to plan and prepare. Your thinking is solid. Just stick to your plan and get ready to reap the benefits of your planning and preparations! Welcome to the forum. Please keep us posted on your progress. Jean

Congratulations! You are now on your way to the most wonderful journey you could ever imagine. There may be some pot holes along the way, but you will be amazed how quickly things move forward. Good luck and keep us posted!

Adoption is not guaranteed to flow smoothly from start to finish. In fact, there are no guarantees in life except death. There are many things that are out of the agency's hands. There are statutes and requirements. I had a bad experience, I guess you could say, with another agency. This agency and Abrazo, too, are careful to tell families that any money expended are funds that are "at risk". The agency I referred to talked about the fact that adoptive families used to be able to buy insurance to cover the funds in case of disruption. The insurance companies have stopped offering the coverage because of having such a high percentage of pay out. My former husband and I lost a large amount of our escrow due to supporting a birthmother for 5 months and her deciding to parent. My ex was very bitter and angry with the birthmother. (I believe that this distructive outlook took its toll on us as a couple and contributed to the demise of our marriage) I was disappointed that the counselor at the agency hadn't been more perceptive about her but in reality if the birthmother wasn't sure about her own feelings/or in denial, then how in the world would the counselor be able to know. I never had any bad feelings about the birthmom. I called her about 6 weeks after the disruption and told her that. I honestly don't think I could relinquish a child and so who am I to fault anyone else for the same thing. What would be the point in badmouthing the agency for the way our case went? I know there are happy adoptive parents out there who had twists and turns with Abrazo that at the time caused them much anxiety and a bit of anger, too. I know happy adoptive parents who had their feelings hurt when they were told bluntly and honestly how the cow eats cabbage. But in the end, they have the child/children they were meant to have and would not had it not been for Abrazo. It just seems that nothing in life is PERFECT and it is a waste of time and energy to madmouth others when things don't go your way. And as several have already stated, we don't know the whole story. Kudos to the Abrazo staff for maintaining their confidentiality, and integrity by not responding in kind.

Dear Pamela, Tom, and Nathan, Blessings abound. Congratulations! The perfect child in the perfect time. That's God's way. Blessings to you all, Jean and Nathan

I need to correct the name of the shoe drive to Shoes for Orphan Souls. I knew it didn't sound right, so heres he the corrected version. How many of you are doing the costume and trick or treating with your little one?

A friend of mine always asks for something instead of a gift for the child. Last year she said, "Don't bring a gift, there's nothing we need.........." but you can bring a new pair of shoes or socks for Soles for Orphan Feet (Church Shoe Drive for Russian Orphanage). This year it says, "but you can bring a can of food for someone who's hungry." I think this is a really nice gesture and teaches her children the gift of giving to those in real need.

Now that's what I call quick! What a wonderful whirlwind it must have been and still is for the lucky first couple to match and place all in a matter of days!! Congratulations! From the Parents of Tomorrow to the Parents of TODAY in a matter of hours. Amazing! Way to go, Abrazo!

I am in the process of trying to find another child care situation for Nathan. As a single, working mom, childcare is not an option, it's a necessity. His current placement is great, except that the hours are from 7:30-5:00 and they really want you to pick up before five so that the workers can leave at 5. This forces me to leave faculty meetings early, arrive to work at the last minute, and to be always rushing to beat the clock leaving many things undone and me a frazzled mess. It also has me hauling lots of work home and since I have a no work while Nathan is awake policy, it has me working usually from 3 a.m. on. Not a good plan over time. We visited three centers yesterday. I was amazed at Nathan's reaction. One center he observed very carefully, took a snack that was offered by a worker, ate it and wanted more. The second place, he immediately told me "Gotta Go". I had the same impression. The third place, he wanted to get down and explore. Very interesting. The third place I had some not so great preconceived ideas about, but it is set up very child friendly and enticing. The first place where Nathan acted relaxed and the staff included him immediately, has VERY small rooms and I didn't see many toys for the children to play with. I had wanted to make a decision and a change for Monday, but it's not going to happen. When I returned home from the visits and dinner with a friend, there was a message from his current day care teacher. She was calling to tell me that she has been offered a job at the first center I went to and she is seriously considering going there. Nathan is VERY attached to her and she would be there, not as his teacher, but as a set of eyes and second mom to watch over him. Is that not a sign from above that it is the place HE has chosen for Nathan? I tend to think it is. Salt, Daycare, sleep issues, wow what a decision packed joy/job parenting is!

Dear Melissa, To update a homestudy in Texas, at least, you just contact your social worker and she comes to visit and "update" your information. Thus the term "update". But in Texas the update has to be within 6 months of placement, so if you update now and place in 7 months, you'll have to redo it.

Dear Christina, I remember not so long ago your first post full of anxious anticipation and questions. What a difference a year makes! Congratulations on the newest member of your family. What an awesome blessing. God has worked another miracle using the faithful to help carry it out. I am so very happy for you and your family. I look forward to the pictures to come! Jean

Superior service and networking; that's Abrazo all over. What a wonderful announcement and definitely engineered by God that this precious little girl went to the forever family He intended! The post was reminiscent of my BOG. Hospital social worker with Abrazo connection, call from Kelly .................... and the rest is glorious memories! Praise God!

Dear Kristy, Patrick, and Erin, I love the name you have chosen for your son. It's beautiful. My son's birthmother also chooses not to have any contact. You are not alone, but I understand the longing to connect with your child's birthparent. Congratulations!

Orientation is a wonderful opportunity to meet and bond with other individuals that have the dream of parenthood, too. I have to admit I wondered if I'd feel like they were competition, but actually the opposite was true. You really do root for everyone in your group, help each other over rough spots, waits, disappointments, and celebrate the joys together. Some groups are closer than others, but all have a connection. You will walk away from the orientation with a whole new resolve and perspective that you may not have had prior to the weekend. You will hear this often, "It's not if, but when".......and with Abrazo, the when often comes very quickly. In my case, I got to be on the panel to speak to the orientation group I was supposed to attend because my precious son actually came home before my scheduled weekend!!!! A miracle like that can happen, too. Be excited! Be prepared to have a blast! Be prepared to think and examine your deepest fears and best case scenerios. Be prepared to laugh, smile, hug, cry, and absorb all that the Abrazo team has in store for you. Once you've attended, you'll never be the same! And that's a good thing!

Dear Carmen, Your thoughts are important for all to read. They bring improved understanding about the struggles birthparents face when they are in the process of deciding which path to follow. As an adoptive parent who experienced a disrupted adoption plan when the birthmother decided to parent her child, I can tell you that I never blamed her or had any anger toward her for the decision. I had a deep understanding and respect for her and knew that if the shoe had been on the other foot, I doubted that I would have the courage to place my child. If the adoptive family you spoke to is trusting God to fullfill their dream, they probably have a peace and understanding about your choice, too. God has a plan for you and your child. Perhaps your struggle initially was His way of helping you understand just what a blessing and miracle your child is. I appreciate your honest post. It brings light and understanding. How is your precious child? Blessed, I am sure.

Awesome, thank you for sharing.

Awesome! It never fails, that I get goosebumps when I read about another miracle family successful on its way. Congratulations to all the new parents!

Dear Martha, In my case, I am divorced and adopted as a single parent. I had unexplained infertility on my record dating back to my marriage and my OBGYN wrote a letter stating that I was infertile. I found Abrazo to be the only agency that warmly and encouragingly welcomed me into their fold. I never felt less or awkward because I was single. I will say that I think it helped that I was open to any healthy infant. I have encouraged several single professional women who have expressed interest to contact Abrazo. The general population thinks it's "hard" to adopt as a single, but if the desire is truely in your heart it will happen if you persue it with Abrazo. Like they say, it's not if it's when, and that goes for singles, too. Jean

Awesome! Set it to music and add it to the Parents of Tomorrow weekend line up!

P.S. I enjoyed Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother, too. I found it humorous and reassuring when I was trying to decided whether to live a childless life or pursue adoption. Humor is wonderful medicine and relieves stress amazingly.

Rick, Your post was awesome. Intelligent, honest, candid and true. Those qualities will not affect your chances to become adoptive parents. Your birthparents will choose you because they value those things in you. As far as the the titles that are being discussed in the previous posts. I've read them all and all I can say is maybe these authors opinions are preparing your for some of the thoughts you will encounter in society. Society as a whole and maybe even society closer to home. I take everything I read with a grain of salt, but that doesn't mean it doesn't infuriate me sometimes. It does. But what also infuriates me is that there are still attitudes about adoption that should have gone the way of the cave man. Have faith. You guys are right on the money.

Your post brough chills to me. God bless all of those mentioned in your post and know that all of us out here in forum land are very moved and elated by your journey. Hugs, Jean and Nathan