Garden of Hope

Congratulations!!

A word of caution in completing the homestudy early: You must have a current homestudy. If you get it too early, you may have to have an update because TX law requires that it has to have been done within 6 months of placement. What does that mean? Another visit and another check. Not a big deal, but it is something to be aware of. WELCOME to The Forum, Suzy. We're glad you're here!

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Girl, Don't you dare dessert me! I look to you in so many ways. You know what those are! I am sorry you felt out of place at the reunion. I have to admit I would be the same way.............We need to go together next year! I'll start saving my pennies if you will................ I'm not sure a bubble bath is the answer, but I do know that your insights are very valuable and timely. Do what you need to do. Perhaps finding a single parents organization close to you (finding a group of singles who have adopted may be too much to ask) is what you need to do, but please don't stop posting here. You are such a wonderful resource and always give all of us so much to consider. We love you, girl! I hope you log on to see our encouragement to stick with the forum.

Congratulations! Love the name you've chosen for your angel.

Could the luck new parents be named Craig and Marylou?

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE LUCKY PEAS, WHOEVER THEY MAY BE! Post soon and let us know all the stats and how you're doing. A picture of the precious little one would also be awesome. Congratulations once again!

Thanks, Martha! Your little Catherine is so cute!! I love her photo, but Nathan misses the cat!

What a blessing! A baby boy. Congratulations. I can't wait to see the pictures and hear the story.

I am a single mom of a soon to be three year Abrazo Babe. My support system has evolved into the most wonderful group of friends and neighbors anyone could wish to have. My family is scattered all over the country, but many beautiful people have come to know and love Nathan and are there for us just like family. God puts people in your path that you need. So I would say, if you're single and the fact that your family isn't able to support you directly, don't let that stand in your way. There are always many "Earth Angels" that are ready and willing to be there. I am always amazed at the lengths people are willing to go to help out. If being a parent is in your heart, then it is a God given desire and He will assist you if you ask. It is HARD, but it is absoutely worth it! If there are any singles reading this that are thinking about becoming a single parent through adoption and you would like to chat, feel free to pm me or call Abrazo and get my phone number. I'd be glad to answer your questions and tell you all about my personal experience as Nathan's mama. I say it often, "Being Nathan's mom is the best thing I've ever done." If it is in your heart, you can do it.

Dana and Glenn Kutz, proud parents of two Abrazo Dudes, recommended Ruth Stratton, major friend of Abrazo and former home study queen, to do the home study for my exhusband and I with another agency. Dana and Ruth renewed their friendship at the second Parents of Tomorrow weekend. Conversation somehow drifted and I became the topic. Ruth told Dana to have me call her, and it was the two of them who encouraged and supported me in my decision to pursue adoption as a single woman. At the time, Ruth was helping Elizabeth with the leadership of the agency, and it wasn't ever in doubt that I would go with Abrazo. Now, three years later I can't imagine having done it any other way. I take any and every opportunity to spread the word about the best agency in the universe. So, in a long winded way, it was Abrazo Alum that enlightened me about Abrazo.

Hot Diggity Dog! Congratulations Windy City!!

Congratulations new mommy and daddy. Your little girl has made her way home to you. All in God's plan, all in God's time. What a blessing adoption is!

What a joyous Father's Day it must be in the Walker home and for Claudia and Marcelo. I can't wait to hear the updates and see the precious pictures. It is a known fact that Abrazo babies are the most precious in the universe! Enjoy your new little ones!

Congratulations to all of the Tennisons! The beautiful and perfect match the way God intended it to be........................................AND perfect timing, too. School's out and Dylan has lots of time to practice being the most awesome big brother in the world! I cannot wait to see the pictures. HURRY HURRY!

It's always well worth the wait and those twelve waiting months will melt into memory as the newest parents begin their blessed journey with their new little one! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

AWWWWWWWW. What a sweet picture of the happy family. Congratulations. I'm wondering who the newest family to add a member is.......... Congratulations on the blessings from above.

Karen, I'm with you! I love the new pictures.

I just knew it was you, Elaine. What a beautiful name you have selected for your precious gift. Enjoy every second. It passes all too quickly! I can't wait to see the pictures, too. Congratulations! Jean

Boys are Best!!!! Of course, I didn't think that until I had one of my very own. I think people think girls will be "easier", whatever that means, but I"m here to tell you as a mom who thought she wanted a girl, I never thougtht I'd have an African American Boy, but I could n't imagine it any other way now nor would I want it any other way! I LOVE MY BOY. God knew what he was doing all along. Me.......not a clue! Good thing he's in charge!!!!!!!

Dear Sherri, I agree with you. What your birthparents did and the adoption lawyer that enticed them is unethical and cruel to you. It seems as though in this case it was more about money than the best possible adoption plan for the child. Heartfelt embrace, Jean

Laura, Any financial input in adoption is considered to be funds "at risk". As Sherri said, the adoptive family is not reimbursed in the event of the disruption of the plan. My ex husband and I provided total support for five months and thirteen days prior to the due date, the birthmom decided to parent. This was through another agency, but it is true everywhere, I believe. My ex was bitter and wanted to pursue civil action to recover the funds. We didn't. Years ago, adoptive parents could buy insurance against the loss of financial support. It was unavailable in 2000. It is definitely a leap of faith mentally and financially. Good luck, Jean

Reminds me of the show, Clean Sweep. A friend of mine had a garage sale to raise money for the Walk for a Cure breast cancer research and she raised over $500, which I thought was awesome for a garage sale stocked with "cast off stuff". Good luck on yours! "pay for him or her" May I suggest "helped finance our adoption plan" ? The first way made me really uncomfortable.

I received this from a friend via email and thought it was so touching. A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery. Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news. That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple's new daughter, Dana Lou Blessing. At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs. "I don't think she's going to make it," he said, as kindly as he could. "There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one." Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived. She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on. "No! No!" was all Diana could say. She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away. But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw,' the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl. There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger. But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there. At last, when Dana turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time. And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted. Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life. She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story. One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing. As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent. Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, "Do you smell that?" Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain." Dana closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell that?" Once again, her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain." Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, "No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest." Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children. Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along. During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

Bullseye, Lisa.

A friend of mine has adopted twice and here's what she found via her first birthmom. Her first birthmom did feel like my friend and her husband felt her son "wasn't enough". She worried about being replaced or that my friends would "like the second birthmom better." The birthmom told my friend that her new husband helped her understand that it was natural for a couple to want another child, just like biological parent desire more children after the first. After my friend matched for the second time, she got the two birthmothers together because she thought they would have a strong connection and similar experiences. She felt they would enjoy talking and getting to know one another. My friend said it was terrible. The two BP didn't talk at all and my friend kept running back and forth between the two trying to make sure everyone was okay. That's just one experience, but it may confirm that you are right to think about your first BP's feelings and approach it knowing what they could be. I like what Melissa said about not wanting Grace Ann to be an only child. Wanting to provide a sibling relationship for your child takes the focus off the adoptive parents/birthparents and puts it on the best interests and happiness of your shared child. Relationships with siblings can be powerful/wonderful. Wanting your shared child to have that opportunity is natural and kind. Just my two cents worth based on hearsay!